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  Anxious Attachment in Dating: Signs and Healthier Responses 11.09.2026 2dk

  Clinically reviewed by Susan Menahem, LCSW — last updated August 2026. You’ve reread the same text three times, trying to decide if “haha yeah” means something’s wrong. You’ve drafted a message, deleted it, and drafted it again. You’ve felt a wave of relief so big it’s almost dizzying the moment someone finally writes back. If dating tends to bring out this kind of vigilance in you, you may be noticing what psychologists call an anxious attachment style. It’s a common pattern, not a character flaw — and understanding it is often the first step toward feeling steadier in relationships. What Is Anxious Attachment? Attachment theory describes the patterns we develop, usually starting in early childhood, for connecting with the people we depend on. When a caregiver’s responsiveness was inconsistent — warm and available one moment, distracted or unpredictable the next — a child can learn that closeness isn’t guaranteed and has to be monitored and maintained. That learned vigilance doesn’t disappear with age. It often resurfaces in adult romantic relationships, where the stakes of connection feel similarly high. People with an anxious attachment style tend to crave closeness and reassurance, and they can become preoccupied with a partner’s availability. This isn’t about being “needy” — it’s a nervous system that has learned to treat uncertainty in a relationship as a signal of danger. The American Psychological Association has explored how these early attachment bonds shape adult relationships in more depth, if you’d like additional background (APA: Attachment Bonds). Signs of Anxious Attachment in Dating Anxious attachment can look different from person to person, but some patterns show up often: Fear of abandonment. A partner being ten minutes late or slower than usual to text back can trigger a spike of worry that something is fundamentally wrong. Overthinking texts and conversations. Analyzing word choice, punctuation, or response time for hidden meaning. Constant reassurance-seeking. Repeatedly asking a partner if they’re okay, if the relationship is okay, or if you did something wrong. Protest behaviors. Withdrawing, testing a partner, or picking a fight in an unconscious attempt to provoke reassurance or closeness. Losing yourself in the relationship. Reshaping your schedule, opinions, or interests around a partner’s, sometimes without fully noticing it’s happening. None of these signs on their own means someone has an anxious attachment style — but when they form a consistent pattern across relationships, it’s worth paying attention to. If anxiety is a near-constant companion in your dating life, it may be worth exploring further with an anxiety specialist. Where Anxious Attachment Comes From Anxious attachment often traces back to early relationships where care felt inconsistent rather than absent. It can also develop later, shaped by a relationship where a partner was genuinely unpredictable, dismissive, or hot-and-cold. Anxious attachment is frequently discussed alongside its counterpart, avoidant attachment, since the two styles can create a reinforcing cycle: the more one partner pursues, the more the other withdraws, which increases the first partner’s anxiety. Recognizing where the pattern came from isn’t about assigning blame — to yourself, caregivers, or past partners. It’s about understanding that the pattern was learned, which also means it can be unlearned. What Anxious-Avoidant Pairing Looks Like One of the most common — and most painful — dynamics in dating is the anxious-avoidant pairing. An anxious partner’s push for closeness can feel, to an avoidant partner, like pressure or engulfment, prompting them to create distance. That distance then confirms the anxious partner’s fear of abandonment, prompting more pursuit. Both people can end up feeling misunderstood, even though each is simply responding from their own attachment wiring. Naming this cycle can be relieving. It reframes the conflict as a pattern between two nervous systems rather than a referendum on either person’s worth or commitment. Healthier Ways to Respond When Anxiety Shows Up Pause before reacting. When the urge to send a fourth follow-up text arrives, try waiting fifteen minutes. Often the intensity settles enough to respond from a calmer place. Name the feeling internally. Simply noting “this is my anxious attachment activating” can create enough distance to choose a response rather than react automatically. Communicate needs directly. Instead of testing a partner or withdrawing, try stating plainly what would help: “I feel more secure when we check in before a few days go by.” Build a life outside the relationship. Friendships, hobbies, and personal goals reduce the pressure on a romantic partner to be a sole source of stability. Practice self-soothing skills. Grounding techniques, journaling, or reminding yourself of times a relationship survived a rough patch can help regulate the nervous system in the moment. Building Secure Attachment Over Time Attachment styles aren’t fixed for life. Many people move toward “earned secure attachment” through consistent, safe relationships and through therapeutic work that helps them understand and rewire old patterns. This shift usually isn’t linear — old fears can resurface during stress — but the goal isn’t perfection. It’s building enough self-awareness and internal steadiness that anxiety doesn’t have to drive the relationship. Individual therapy is often where this work happens, and for those already partnered, couples counseling can help both people understand and respond to each other’s attachment patterns together. When to Consider Therapy If anxious attachment patterns are affecting your ability to date, sustain relationships, or feel at ease in your own company, therapy can help. A therapist can help identify where the pattern originated, build tools for managing anxiety in real time, and work toward a more secure relational style — whether or not you’re currently dating someone. IPG’s therapists see clients at three New Jersey locations — Freehold, Highland Park, and Jersey City — and offer telehealth statewide, making it easier to find support that fits your schedule and comfort level. Support at IPG Learning that your attachment patterns are learned responses — not flaws — can be a genuine relief. You don’t have to untangle them on your own, and you don’t have to stay stuck in patterns that no longer serve you. IPG offers individual and couples therapy at our three New Jersey offices — Jersey City, Highland Park, and Freehold — plus secure telehealth for clients anywhere in NJ. To get started, call 866-602-4521, visit our contact page, or use the Zocdoc “Book Online” button. The post Anxious Attachment in Dating: Signs and Healthier Responses appeared first on New Jersey Psychotherapy - Individual, Couple, Family, Marriage Counseling, Sex Therapy NJ.
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  What Ails Women: Most Common Female Sexual Issues 09.09.2026 2dk

  By Margie Nichols, Ph.D. What ails women?  The short answer is – that elusive thing called desire.  The most common reason that women seek therapy for sexual problems is ‘lack of desire,’ which sometimes means – “the thought of sex with ANYONE leaves me cold” and other times means “the thought of having sex with him/her leaves me cold,” And desire problems can’t be fixed with a pill, not yet, anyway, maybe not ever.  Research shows that women have really different sexual patterns from men – oh, and by the way, sexual orientation really doesn’t have much to do with this.  For the average woman, sex can be a high maintenance endeavor, with desire not as automatic as for men.  The conditions have to be right, she can’t be too tired or distracted by responsibilities, and she’s got to already feel close to him.  Not only that, but women seem to need more diversity, mystery, drama, whatever you want to call it — they usually can’t do the same ole’ same ole’ every time and still get terribly aroused.  Moreover, that fantastically lusty feeling both partners feel at the beginning of a relationship – it can drop off pretty dramatically for women. In fact, the sex therapist Rosemary Basson has proposed that women’s sexual desire literally becomes different in a long term relationship.  She says it becomes ‘receptive’ – open to sex perhaps but not consciously horny.  Why do you think 50 Shades of Gray is so popular?  What woman doesn’t want to be seduced, to be the center of sexual attention?  It’s what a lot of women require.  For many women, sexual desire comes from a conscious decision to have sex, not a physical urge.  They know they’ll like it once they get into it. If you’ve lost ALL sexual desire,  when you used to have it, your first stop is your doctor.  There are lots of medical reasons to lose desire, some are related to aging but some are symptoms of disease.  But if you’ve a feeling it’s more about losing desire for your partner, you need to determine whether you need relationship counseling or sex therapy.  Try to be honest with yourself- if thinking about having sex with your partner makes you feel angry, resentful, or mistrustful and shut down – you need to address that first.  But if thinking about sex with your partner just makes you feel – bored – or like ‘it’s work’ –  then you could probably benefit from sex therapy. NEXT BLOG: Female Sexual Pain Disorder, THE most misdiagnosed sexual problem in women. The post What Ails Women: Most Common Female Sexual Issues appeared first on New Jersey Psychotherapy - Individual, Couple, Family, Marriage Counseling, Sex Therapy NJ.
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  Responsive Desire: What It Is and Why Desire Doesn’t Always Come First 08.09.2026 6dk

  Clinically reviewed by Susan Menahem, LCSW — last updated August 2026. You’re not lying awake thinking about sex. You’re not fantasizing in the shower or counting down to date night. And somewhere along the way, that started to feel like a problem — like something’s missing, or broken, or wrong with your relationship. It might just mean you experience desire differently than the version of “wanting sex” that movies and pop culture treat as the default. That version has a name — spontaneous desire — and it’s only one of the ways human sexual desire actually works. What Is Responsive Desire? Sex researchers describe two broad patterns of sexual desire. Spontaneous desire shows up on its own — a thought, a glance, a memory can trigger the urge to want sex before anything physical has happened. Responsive desire works differently: interest builds after pleasure or stimulation has already started, not before it. Someone with responsive desire might feel neutral or even uninterested going into a sexual encounter, then find that desire arrives once touch, closeness, or arousal are already underway. Sex educator and researcher Dr. Emily Nagoski, whose work popularized this framework, has written about how both patterns are simply different routes to the same place — full, satisfying sexual engagement — not a sign that one person wants sex “more” than another. For more on the research behind responsive and spontaneous desire, see Dr. Emily Nagoski’s writing on the subject. It helps to think of desire less like a light switch and more like a dimmer. For some people, that dimmer flips on with almost no input. For others, it needs the room set up first — the right mood, the right amount of closeness, the absence of distraction or stress. Neither setting is more “correct.” They’re just different wiring. Why This Matters More Than People Realize Culture holds up spontaneous desire as the gold standard, largely because film and media almost always show this version. That leaves a lot of people — researchers estimate responsive-desire folks make up a meaningful share of women and a smaller share of men — feeling like their body should do something automatically that it simply doesn’t. This mismatch in expectations, more than any actual difference in desire, is often what causes distress. A person with responsive desire isn’t broken, and a partner who wants spontaneous urges from them isn’t unreasonable for wanting connection — the two people are just speaking different desire “languages.” The problem usually isn’t the desire style itself. It’s the silent assumption that everyone’s desire should look the same, and that anything different needs fixing. This assumption can be especially heavy for people who’ve spent years wondering if their libido was “low,” when in reality their desire simply follows a different sequence. Reframing the pattern — from “something is wrong with me” to “this is how my body works” — is often the single most relieving shift in this conversation. Signs You Might Have Responsive Desire You rarely initiate sex, but you enjoy it once it begins. You’ve assumed your libido was “low” because you don’t think about sex proactively. Feeling desired, relaxed, or emotionally connected matters more to your arousal than any specific fantasy. You need the right context — privacy, low stress, feeling safe — before your body is willing to engage. Once physical touch starts, your interest builds quickly, even if you weren’t in the mood minutes earlier. You’ve felt guilty or “behind” compared to a partner who seems to want sex spontaneously, even though you enjoy it just as much once you’re there. How to Work With Responsive Desire, Not Against It Redefine “in the mood.” Instead of waiting for spontaneous desire to strike, treat willingness and openness as a legitimate starting point. Being open to intimacy counts as a green light — you can let the desire itself show up later. Prioritize context over willpower. Reducing stress, creating privacy, and removing distractions often matters more than trying to “want it” harder. A cluttered mind rarely produces desire on demand, regardless of desire style. Let arousal come first sometimes. Starting with kissing, touch, or closeness — without expecting desire to already be present — can open the door rather than mark the destination. Give the body permission to catch up. Build in transition time. Moving straight from a long work day or parenting duties into intimacy rarely works well for responsive desire. A buffer — a shower, a walk, ten minutes of quiet — can make a real difference. Talk about it explicitly. Naming your desire style with a partner cuts out the guesswork and softens the sting of feeling rejected or undesired. A short conversation can replace months of silent misunderstanding. When Responsive Desire Becomes a Relationship Issue Responsive desire itself isn’t a problem. But when one partner doesn’t understand or accept it, it can create a painful cycle: one person feels pressure to perform, the other feels persistently unwanted, and both stop initiating out of self-protection. Over time, this can start to look like a much bigger issue than a simple difference in desire style — arguments about intimacy start to stand in for deeper feelings of being unwanted or unheard. Ignore this dynamic and it tends to compound — a pattern we cover in more depth in [our companion post on mismatched libidos in couples]. The good news: once both partners understand what’s actually happening — two different but equally valid desire patterns, not a mismatch in how much either person cares — the emotional charge around the issue often drops considerably, even before anything else changes. Sex therapy can help couples build a shared understanding of each partner’s desire style, rebuild initiation patterns that feel good to both people, and separate “how much we want sex” from “how well we understand each other’s wiring.” Support at IPG Learning that responsive desire is a normal variation — not a deficiency — can be a real relief, whether you’re navigating this on your own or with a partner. You don’t have to figure it out alone. IPG offers sex therapy, individual therapy, and couples counseling at our three New Jersey offices — Jersey City, Highland Park, and Freehold — plus secure telehealth for clients anywhere in NJ. To get started, call 866-602-4521, visit our contact page, or use the Zocdoc “Book Online” button. The post Responsive Desire: What It Is and Why Desire Doesn’t Always Come First appeared first on New Jersey Psychotherapy - Individual, Couple, Family, Marriage Counseling, Sex Therapy NJ.
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  Teen Refuses Therapy? What Parents Can Do Next 07.09.2026 5dk

  Clinically reviewed by Susan Menahem, LCSW — last updated August 2026. You’ve watched your teen struggle. You’ve found a therapist, maybe even booked the appointment — and then hit a wall: “I’m not going.” No explanation, or every explanation at once. Now you’re stuck between respecting their autonomy and worrying about what happens if they never get support. This is one of the most common challenges parents bring to us, and it doesn’t mean you’ve failed or that your teen is beyond help. It usually means something specific is standing in the way, and that something is often fixable. Why Teens Refuse Therapy Refusal rarely means a teen doesn’t want help — it usually means they don’t want this specific version of help, or they don’t fully trust the process yet. Common reasons include: Stigma. Many teens still associate therapy with something being “wrong” with them, not a normal tool for managing stress or emotions. Loss of control. Being told to attend therapy, especially by a parent, can feel like one more decision made for them rather than with them. Fear of judgment. Teens often worry a therapist will report everything back to their parents, or that talking about problems will make things worse at home. Past disappointment. A previous bad experience — a therapist who felt cold, or a session that felt forced — can make trying again feel pointless. Simply not feeling ready. Sometimes a teen genuinely isn’t at a point where they can engage, even if they need support. It’s Not About You Parents often take a teen’s refusal personally, reading it as rejection or a sign they’ve handled things wrong. Most of the time, it’s neither. Adolescence itself pushes teens toward independence and away from parental direction — even when that direction is genuinely in their interest. A teen resisting therapy is often doing the same thing they do with curfews, homework, or advice about friendships: asserting control over their own life. Understanding this can take some of the emotional charge out of the conversation. What Tends to Backfire Ultimatums and threats. Framing therapy as a punishment or a condition for privileges usually deepens resistance rather than resolving it. Forcing the first session. Dragging a resistant teen to an appointment rarely produces a productive one, and it can make future attempts harder. Over-explaining or lecturing. Long persuasive speeches about “why this matters” often land as more pressure, not less. Making it about you. Statements like “you’re breaking my heart” or “I don’t know what to do with you” shift the focus onto the parent’s distress instead of the teen’s needs. Lowering the Barrier Several small shifts can make therapy feel far less threatening to a resistant teen: Let them choose. Giving a teen some say in picking their therapist — even from a short, pre-vetted list — restores a sense of control. Start small. One low-pressure session, framed as “just meeting someone,” can lower the stakes considerably compared to committing to ongoing therapy. Offer online therapy as an option. Many teens find it easier to open up from their own room than in an unfamiliar office. Separate the goal from the label. Framing sessions around a specific, teen-relevant concern — sleep, friendships, stress — often works better than presenting “therapy” as a broad fix for “what’s wrong.” What If They Still Say No? If a teen continues to refuse, parents still have meaningful options. Parent coaching can help you learn how to communicate in ways that reduce resistance rather than increase it. Family therapy can also work even without the teen initially present, by shifting family patterns that may be contributing to the standoff. And modeling your own comfort with therapy — talking openly about your own support system, without pressure — can slowly change how a teen views the idea over time. Persistence usually matters more than any single tactic. Many teens who refuse for months eventually agree, often once they feel the decision is genuinely theirs. Signs That Need Prompt Attention Most refusal situations aren’t emergencies, and treating them that way can add unnecessary pressure. That said, some changes are worth acting on more quickly — noticeable withdrawal from friends or activities, a sharp drop in functioning at school, or talk that suggests hopelessness about the future. If you’re ever concerned about your teen’s immediate safety, the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline is available by call or text, any time. The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry also offers reliable, parent-facing guidance on recognizing when a teen’s mood or behavior needs closer attention. How IPG Supports Teens and Families Getting a resistant teen into therapy isn’t just about finding the right words — it’s about finding the right approach, and often the right therapist fit. IPG works with families to navigate exactly this kind of standoff, from parent coaching to flexible entry points that meet teens where they are. Support at IPG You don’t have to figure this out alone, and you don’t have to get it perfect on the first try. Most families work through this step by step. IPG offers child and adolescent family therapy, individual therapy, and online therapy at our three New Jersey offices — Jersey City, Highland Park, and Freehold — plus secure telehealth for clients anywhere in NJ. To get started, call 866-602-4521, visit our contact page, or use the Zocdoc “Book Online” button. For additional guidance, the National Institute of Mental Health offers trustworthy, research-based resources on adolescent mental health. The post Teen Refuses Therapy? What Parents Can Do Next appeared first on New Jersey Psychotherapy - Individual, Couple, Family, Marriage Counseling, Sex Therapy NJ.
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  Mismatched Libidos in Couples: What Actually Helps 07.09.2026 3dk

  Clinically reviewed by Susan Menahem, LCSW — last updated August 2026. One partner wants sex several times a week. The other wants it once a month, if that. Somewhere in between, both people start to feel something is wrong — one feels chronically rejected, the other feels chronically pressured, and sex turns into the thing neither of them wants to talk about. If this sounds familiar, the mismatch itself isn’t the problem. Nearly every long-term couple experiences some version of it. What determines whether it damages the relationship is how the couple handles it. Why Mismatched Libidos Are So Common Desire naturally fluctuates — for each person individually, and even more so between two people in the same relationship. A 2020 study published in Archives of Sexual Behavior found that couples’ desire levels rarely stay perfectly synced; researchers who tracked desire patterns over time found that regular, predictable dips in alignment are a normal part of long-term relationships, not a warning sign. In other words, desire discrepancy isn’t a symptom of a relationship going wrong — it’s simply what happens when two nervous systems, hormone cycles, stress levels, and life circumstances don’t move in lockstep. Read the full study here. That reframe matters. Many couples interpret a libido gap as evidence that their partner doesn’t find them attractive anymore, or that something is fundamentally broken. Usually, it’s neither. It’s biology and circumstance doing what they normally do. What the Research Says Actually Helps The same research followed hundreds of people in long-term relationships and asked what they did when their desire didn’t match their partner’s. A few clear patterns emerged: Doing nothing tends to backfire. Couples who consistently ignored the mismatch — waiting it out without addressing it — reported the lowest satisfaction of any group. Communication makes a measurable difference. People who talked openly about the mismatch, without blame, reported meaningfully higher relationship and sexual satisfaction than those who stayed silent. Shared activity beats solo coping. Couples who found some way to stay connected together — even without full intercourse — fared better than partners who simply retreated into separate corners. “Good enough” sex still counts. Partners who occasionally had sex even when only one of them initially felt desire — without resentment or obligation driving it — often reported it strengthened rather than weakened the relationship, especially when it came from genuine willingness rather than pressure. None of these strategies erase the mismatch entirely. But couples who actively engaged with the gap, in almost any form, fared better than couples who avoided the topic altogether. Common Traps That Make It Worse Turning it into a scoreboard. Counting who initiated last, who said no last time, and who “owes” whom turns intimacy into a transaction. Reading rejection into biology. A partner’s lower desire is rarely a verdict on attractiveness or love — it’s often stress, hormones, exhaustion, or a nervous system that simply needs more warm-up. Letting silence become the norm. The couples who struggle most are often the ones who quietly stopped bringing it up at all. Assuming one person has to “fix” themselves. Framing the higher-desire partner as “too much” or the lower-desire partner as “broken” puts blame where none belongs. This is a couple issue, not an individual defect. How to Start the Conversation Pick a neutral moment. Bringing this up mid-rejection rarely goes well. A calm, low-stakes time works better. Lead with curiosity, not accusation. “I’ve noticed we want sex at different times — can we figure out what’s going on?” lands very differently than “You never want to.” Separate the desire gap from the relationship’s health. A mismatch in libido doesn’t automatically mean a mismatch in love or commitment. Get specific about what helps each of you feel connected. Sometimes physical affection, quality time, or reduced stress does more for the relationship than sex frequency alone. If one of you leans more toward what’s known as responsive desire — where interest builds after arousal starts rather than before — that context can reshape the whole conversation. When to Bring in Support If the mismatch has calcified into resentment, silence, or a pattern neither partner knows how to break, that’s a strong sign it’s time for outside support. A therapist can help a couple talk about desire without it turning into blame, identify what each partner actually needs, and rebuild intimacy that doesn’t hinge on matching libidos exactly. Sex therapy at IPG focuses specifically on these dynamics, and couples counseling can address the broader relationship patterns that often surround a desire gap. For partners working through this individually, individual therapy can also help unpack personal stress, body image, or past experiences shaping desire. Support at IPG A mismatch in desire doesn’t mean your relationship is failing — it means you’re human, and so is your partner. With the right support, couples can move from silence and resentment toward a version of intimacy that actually works for both of you. IPG offers sex therapy, individual therapy, and couples counseling at our three New Jersey offices — Jersey City, Highland Park, and Freehold — plus secure telehealth for clients anywhere in NJ. To get started, call 866-602-4521, visit our contact page, or use the Zocdoc “Book Online” button. The post Mismatched Libidos in Couples: What Actually Helps appeared first on New Jersey Psychotherapy - Individual, Couple, Family, Marriage Counseling, Sex Therapy NJ.
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  Common Misconceptions About Eating Disorders 26.08.2026 3dk

  Eating disorder is quite common. It is known to affect 9% of the global population and 28.8 million Americans are likely to suffer from this in their lifetime. The condition itself is quite baffling at times, which makes it difficult to tell fact from fiction. Further, low levels of mental health literacy have added on to the misconceptions. This makes it quite difficult to identify and diagnose and go for early intervention. The most common disorders are destructive eating behaviors like Anorexia Nervosa, Bulimia Nervosa and Binge Eating Disorder, which show symptoms such restriction of food intake, feelings of depression and compulsive exercising, according to experts at Institute For Personal Growth. The good news is that professionals like dieticians, psychotherapists and primary care physicians can coordinate to offer appropriate care. However, it is crucial to understand the myths to be able to seek timely help. Myth: It is a Matter of Choice People tend to believe that an individual chooses to eat excessively more or less. However, studies have found that genetics have 80% role in this condition developing. Further, personality traits like neuroticism, perfectionism and impulsivity are often linked to a higher risk of eating disorder, according to an article by Healthline. Social, environmental and psychological factors are other significant causes. Myth: Eating Disorder Cannot be Cured An array of evidence based anti-diet and body acceptance approaches are adopted along with DBT, CBT, motivational interviewing, and interpersonal therapy. These are a few of the most effective ways to alleviate this condition, along with help from highly qualified professionals. Further, you can practice smart eating habits, ask for emotional support, rest your mind and set realistic goals as a part of self care for Anorexia, according to an article by WebMD. Myth: It is not a Serious Problem Well, it is extremely serious and, when left untreated, can be life threatening. It cannot be controlled or overcome without intervention. Therefore, make sure to seek help as soon as you see symptoms in yourself or your loved ones. Myth: It is Just a Phase Eating complications can come with serious mental issues like body dysmorphic disorder and obsessive compulsive disorder, along with brain mass loss, disrupted sleep patterns and fainting spells, according to an article by Verywell Mind. Therefore, it is far from being a temporary condition, coping mechanism or a chosen lifestyle. Further, people also believe it is a women’s illness, cannot develop until teenage years or is just focused on food. However, don’t let these misconceptions keep you from receiving proper treatment and care for healthy living. The post Common Misconceptions About Eating Disorders appeared first on New Jersey Psychotherapy - Individual, Couple, Family, Marriage Counseling, Sex Therapy NJ.
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  Lost Someone Close? Overcome Your Bereavement with Grief Counseling 26.08.2026 3dk

  Death is the most common experience of the human race. The COVID pandemic, especially taught us, ‘how little separates life from death.’ It throws everything off gear and takes a significant toll on physical and mental health. Apart from guilt, numbness and regret, grief is the most universal response to loss. There are 5 stages of grief according to the Kubler Ross model – Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. You can reach out to a therapist to help you work through these emotions if you are highly overwhelmed. Grief is not classified as a ‘feeling’. It is a ‘journey’ that you have to go through to be able to heal completely. Spending time with a professional is the most effective way to return to a balanced state of mind and recover speedily. No wonder the market size of the behavioral therapist industry in the US is $9 billion in 2022 and is expected to increase by 0.4% in the same year. There are several techniques like Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) and Group Therapy. Read on to know how a session is helpful to overcome mental suffering. What is Grief Counseling? Professional therapy is the kindest thing you can do to yourself. It is vital since any life transition can cause symptoms that appear as anxiety and depression even in someone who is the paragon of mental health. Therapy can offer support for pregnancy-related loss, the death of a pet or grief by small children who are unable to express themselves. The best time to seek help is when you experience intense emotional pain, withdrawal from social activities or persistent yearning for the one who is gone. Therapists give essential tips to anyone struggling and help deal with profound sadness and negative thought patterns. How Does It Work? The psychotherapist will listen to your concerns sensitively and reduce the stress with day-to-day tasks. You are likely to see fewer grief symptoms, develop coping skills and improve self-awareness. These help you move forward with your life. A few rituals can be followed to help you stay connected to your loved one. For instance: Rituals of Affirmation: Release pent up your emotions by writing a letter, note or poem to the deceased in remembrance. Rituals of Continuity: Establish that the one you lost is still a part of you and the bond continues despite their absence. Rituals of Transition: Here you are asked to clean their cupboards or donate a few of their belongings to mark a definite change in grief response. Grief counselling is done in a safe setting to assure comfort and peace. Besides a session, there are other things to make you feel better. Stick to a daily routine, avoid alcohol, spend time with friends, eat a healthy diet and get exercise. It is also available for children in the form of play, art and narrative therapies. Child-centric techniques help them understand what is death or dying. But know that healing has unique paths without a set timeline. Allow yourself enough time and avoid downplaying your feelings. Stay in close contact with your therapist to discover easy ways to cope with the pain. The post Lost Someone Close? Overcome Your Bereavement with Grief Counseling appeared first on New Jersey Psychotherapy - Individual, Couple, Family, Marriage Counseling, Sex Therapy NJ.
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  How to Treat and Manage Your Child’s Anxiety? 26.08.2026 2dk

  Did you know that anxiety disorders are the most common mental health issues faced by children? Different kinds of anxiety affect younger people at different stages. It could be phobia or separation anxiety at younger ages, social anxiety at a later stage when peer relationships are important. Nearly one in three adolescents witness some kind of anxiety disorder by the age of 18. This includes specific phobia of a thing or an event, social phobia, separation anxiety, panic disorder, and a general anxiety disorder. Dealing with Anxiety Many times, parents in their desire to help their anxious child exacerbate the problem.  What is important is to identify the factor causing the anxiety and then dealing with it accordingly. The goal should be to help the children to face their fears or phobia and manage the anxiety level by offering the right treatments by using the latest psychotherapy techniques, mentions IPG Counseling. Assurance that It Can be Dealt With – Instead of telling a child that his/her fears are unrealistic it is better to deal with them and assure him that they can be managed or dealt with. Rather than telling a child that he won’t fail in an exam, convince or reassure him that he can avoid such a situation by working hard or studying well. Offer Your Support – Rather than giving in to a child’s fear and anxiety, give him assurance that you are with him to face the situation and deal with it. Discuss the Possible Ways to Deal With it – An excellent way to reduce anxiety is to discuss with your child the situation or the phobia which he is afraid of and discuss possible solutions for that. Seek Help from Professional Counselors – Professional counselors have the necessary experience and knowledge of handling anxiety in children. Approach them for timely solutions. Type of Treatment The type of treatment required to deal with anxiety will depend on the factors causing it.  Several types of treatment options like psychotherapy, pharmacotherapy, and combined treatment approaches are available for dealing with anxiety issues. The WHO and the National Institute for Health and Care Excellence or NICE generally recommend Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy or CBT as the first line of treatment, The duration of the therapy for anxiety can be short for specific fears and long if the problem is more pervasive. Some treatment options are: Behavior therapy to deal with specific symptoms Insight therapy to understand the root of anxiety Relapse prevention techniques to avoid the return of fear So, the best way to deal with your child’s anxiety is to accept it, find the root cause, and help him deal with it.  You need to provide him the necessary reassurance and support besides getting him the essential therapy. The post How to Treat and Manage Your Child’s Anxiety? appeared first on New Jersey Psychotherapy - Individual, Couple, Family, Marriage Counseling, Sex Therapy NJ.
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  How to Tell if My Child is Depressed 26.08.2026 2dk

  Beyond the regular “blues,” children often suffer from clinical depression. They tend to become unusually irritable, angry, or quiet, which disrupts their lives. Worldwide, 10%-20% of the children experience psychological disorders and depression is often called the “common cold” of mental illnesses. In fact, 3 in 4 children aged 3-17 with depression also suffer from anxiety and 1 in 2 has behavioral issues, according to an article by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. If left untreated, such conditions can severely influence the potential to live a fulfilling life. Fortunately, depression is treatable and can help the child get life back on track. Professionals offer Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT), meditation, mindfulness training and interpersonal therapy techniques to relieve depression among children, according to experts at the Institute For Personal Growth. But how do you know whether your child is suffering? Take a look at the various ways in which they might act out under the shadow of depression. Low Self Esteem The child might constantly feel that they are ugly and worthless. This triggers emotions like guilt, hopelessness, shame, failure, and lack of confidence in almost every aspect of life. They might also become indecisive or reckless and refuse to interact with friends and family. Self-Harm This is one of the first signs that something is terribly wrong. They can deliberately cut, burn, scratch, bite, poison or overdose themselves on drugs. These become ways to cope with the strong and painful emotions. Further, they might have suicidal thoughts or attempt to commit the act. Lack of Energy Depression involves the body, thoughts and mood, in a way that it impacts how a person eats, sleeps and feels about themselves, according to an article on MedicineNet. The child can exhibit unusual lethargy and loss of interest in their favorite activities. They might also refuse to go to school or feel too fatigued to meet friends outdoors. This can further lead to an increase in weight, a ripple effect of depression. Frequent Emotional Upheaval Regular tearfulness, sensitivity, stress, rudeness, frustration, panic attacks and restlessness are red flags to watch out for. In fact, even the most quiet and timid child might become violent and aggressive over time. On the other hand, many children reportedly say that they have been feeling “empty” or “numb.” As a responsible parent, be patient and understanding through their therapy sessions. Your love, support and guidance can help alleviate the negative thoughts and help them emerge out of depression successfully. The post How to Tell if My Child is Depressed appeared first on New Jersey Psychotherapy - Individual, Couple, Family, Marriage Counseling, Sex Therapy NJ.
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  The Brain Keeps the Score, Or, Why You Overreact to Your Boss/partner/kid/stranger in the Next Car 26.08.2026 3dk

  By Margie Nichols, Ph.D. There is a Buddhist story about a man steering a boat on a river in the early dawn when the river is shrouded in mist. Another boat collides with him, and the driver of the first boat rails at the second boat and its driver, who is obscured by the fog. In a few moments, the mist dissipates….and the second boat is seen to be empty, adrift in the river alone. This story is used as a metaphor for human relationships. We rail at ghosts in the mists, ghosts of our own making. Every day I see the evidence in my office: a man describes his road rage, and slowly what emerges is that the rudeness of the other driver triggered the same fear and anger he experienced as a child being berated by a contemptuous father. A woman cowers when her husband scowls, because his facial expression mimics the look that was on her mother’s face just before mom used to terrorize her as a child. I’m not really analytic in my therapy approach- but I am a fan of neuroscience, which increasingly gives us explanations for our behavior based in biology, not theory. The more scientists understand the brain, the more we see how much happens outside our conscious awareness and is driven by unconscious brain processes. We are, in effect, often clueless about ourselves. We know the neuroscience of emotional reactivity from studies of survivors of serious trauma. These people resemble the rest of us more than we know. Many of walk around having mini-Post Traumatic Stress Disorder attacks every day. To understand this, you’ll have to bear with me here for a very stripped-down version of what happens to the traumatized brain. First, we know that memories of emotionally intense experiences actually get stored as distinct ‘parts,’ in different areas of the brain. For example, the limbic system, part of the older ‘emotional brain,’ stores the sensory memories of an event – body sensations, smell, images, sounds, tactile sensations. These memories may themselves be fragmented –sound separated from visual, for example. All the memory fragments in the limbic system are stored as ‘implicit memory,’ or memory that is unconscious most of the time and that can be triggered outside of our conscious awareness. Our cerebral cortex, the newer, ‘thinking brain’, stores the ‘narrative memory’ of the event as explicit, or conscious memory. Narrative memory is basically the story we construct of our own lives, of what has happened to us and why it happened. We know this story and can tell it verbally, and it makes sense to us. When something bad happens to us, through telling and re-telling the story, through dreams, we weave together the implicit and explicit elements of the negative event until it fits seamlessly with our ‘narrative,’ and by doing so somehow the negative emotions attached to the experience tend to fade with time, perhaps even disappear. From a neuroscience point of view, the narrative and sensory parts of the memory have become part of one integrated ‘neural network’ and this makes the sensory elements less acute. But this doesn’t happen when we are subjected to trauma. When we experience something that is truly horrible, terrifying, unexpected –trauma – our brains are overwhelmed and flooded, and for some reason the narrative memories and implicit memories of the traumatic event get stored in fragmented, unconnected ways. We are unable to ‘process’ the trauma, so the feelings don’t diminish, it is as if the event happened yesterday. Even more problematic, we may be triggered to re-live the emotional part of the trauma without our even realizing we’ve been triggered and without the conscious part of the memory. The classic example is the war veteran who dives under the bed when a car backfires in the street. Her brain and body are still in the war, even though her conscious mind is not. The problem is, in some ways we are all war veterans- survivors of the battles of our childhood and adolescence, compounded by difficulties in adulthood. The harsh, critical parent, the bullies at school, the depressed, withdrawn family members who couldn’t give us love or attention – all these are chronic traumas of childhood that that leave seemingly indelible ‘hot spots’ in the brain: unconscious, fragmented, negative memory networks waiting to be triggered. When the neural network is triggered we re-experience the original trauma in a physical, emotional way- but we remain unaware because these sensory memories are disconnected from our conscious memory of the childhood incident(s). If we remain unaware, we blame the trigger for the reaction. So I am enraged at the stupid driver, terrified of my partner’s disapproval, horribly hurt by a friend’s unintentional slight. Sometimes when I watch my clients talk about the events in their daily lives to which they overreact, I can almost see the ‘ghosts’ of the children they once were, hovering around. These ghosts need to be put to rest so that we can react appropriately in real-time, not constantly re-live, unconsciously, the pains of our past. NEXT, I’ll offer suggestions for how to do that. Here’s a hint: it starts with noticing that weird uneasy feeling you get sometimes right before or after an emotional blowout…the feeling that tells you that something in your reaction was a little “off.” And look for Part 2 of “The Brain Keeps the Score.” The post The Brain Keeps the Score, Or, Why You Overreact to Your Boss/partner/kid/stranger in the Next Car appeared first on New Jersey Psychotherapy - Individual, Couple, Family, Marriage Counseling, Sex Therapy NJ.