Autistic and ADHD Kids Parenting Strategies: Every Brain is Different

What is the Third Thing to do After Your Child Gets an Autism Diagnosis? | Ep. 176 27.07.2026 16min

Samantha and Lauren discuss the third step after a child is diagnosed with autism: building a support system. They recap the first two steps—learning about autism by getting curious about your own child and connecting with autistic adults and other parents, and applying early for resources like Medicaid and therapy waitlists. They validate how overwhelming ongoing therapies and frequent specialist appointments can be, emphasizing that parenting isn’t meant to be done alone and that some family or friends may not provide the support you expect, making it okay to set boundaries or create distance. They outline professional supports (pediatricians, therapists, mental health providers) and personal supports (spouses, friends, online communities), encourage learning from parents further along while avoiding comparison, and note research linking parental support to lower stress and improved outcomes.

What is the Second Thing to do After Getting an Autism Diagnosis? | Ep. 175 20.07.2026 22min

Samantha and Lauren continue their discussion on what to do when you suspect or receive an autism diagnosis, revisiting the idea of “being a detective” to learn what makes your child tick while also debating the line between respecting boundaries and pushing kids to get out into the world for social learning and health. They emphasize acting early to access supports, highlighting Medicaid options like the disability-based Katie Beckett Waiver (which can cover broad healthcare and therapies) and other state-specific waivers for non-traditional therapies, plus early intervention (Zero to Three), developmental preschool requirements, IEPs/504s, respite care, parent training, adaptive equipment, grants, and case management. They stress that professionals often won’t volunteer these resources, approvals can take months to years, denials are common, and parents should reapply, follow up persistently, join local Facebook groups for area-specific guidance, get on multiple therapy waitlists, keep organized records, and request school assessments in writing.

What is the Number 1 Thing To Do After Your Child Gets Diagnosed With Autism? | Ep. 174 13.07.2026 30min

Samantha and Lauren discuss the number one thing they would do after getting an autism diagnosis for your child: learn about your child, not just autism. Samantha emphasizes that a diagnosis is a tool for understanding, not fixing, and that parents may feel relief and grief, all of which are valid. They stress that autism presents differently in each person, caution against overreliance on online checklists, and encourage neurodiversity-affirming thinking over deficit-based views by asking what behaviors communicate and what needs they meet. Examples include sensory accommodations for loud toilets, avoiding uncomfortable clothing, and allowing harmless stimming, while still intervening for safety concerns like self-injury or eloping. They suggest tracking strengths, triggers, and ABC patterns, seeking professional or community support, and preview next week’s focus on applying for resources early due to long waitlists.

How to Build a Supportive Mental Health Network | Ep. 173 06.07.2026 24min

Samantha and Lauren discuss why building a supportive network matters for mental health and how to do it, drawing from Samantha’s postpartum psychosis and breakdown in 2016 and the challenges of parenting children with medical needs. They outline key benefits of support, which include emotional encouragement, practical help, accountability, perspective when “your brain is lying to you,” and connection. They describe four types of support: personal (friends, family, faith/community), professional (primary care, therapists, psychiatrists, coaches, support groups), peer (special-interest and parenting/disability communities), and practical (cleaning, childcare, meal services, assistants). They offer steps to build support without shame: start small, be specific about needs, allow imperfect help while avoiding toxic relationships, and find aligned communities, ending with a one-step takeaway and available resources.

Why Your Child Falls Apart After Vacation (And What to Do About It) | Ep. 172 29.06.2026 22min

Samantha and Lauren discuss how returning home from vacation can be dysregulating for neurodivergent kids due to transitions and delayed stress responses from masking, sensory input, uncertainty, and social demands. They recommend not scheduling extra activities immediately after returning, prioritizing rest and recovery over productivity, and giving kids (and parents) grace during reintegration. They advise returning to familiar routines without trying to overhaul life, focusing on connection before correction, debriefing the trip to build self-awareness and plan future supports, and watching for delayed burnout days or weeks later.

Why Family Vacations Feel Hard with Autistic and ADHD Kids (And What Actually Helps) | Ep. 171 22.06.2026 29min

Samantha and Lauren discuss how to help vacations go more smoothly for neurodivergent kids by prioritizing safety, predictability, and regulation over nonstop activities. They explain how vacations disrupt routine, sensory input, and expectations (new places, foods, people, airports, planes, theme parks, beaches), which can overwhelm autistic and ADHD children. They recommend preparing kids in advance with photos, maps, videos, itineraries, visual schedules, and honest communication about uncertainty; using supports like airport assistance (Sunflower lanyards, practice tours, early boarding); and building recovery time with hotel breaks, quiet spaces, and rest days. They suggest creating an escape plan or safe word, avoiding forced socialization, packing sensory tools and familiar items, watching early signs of overload, and adjusting parental expectations so everyone ends the day regulated, safe, supported, and connected.

Dance as Self-Care for Parents with Annett Bone | Ep. 170 15.06.2026 24min

Samantha and Lauren welcome dance artist and creative coach Annett Bone to discuss dance as self-care—especially for stressed parents raising neurodivergent kids. Annett shares that returning to dance at 43 after a 20-plus year hiatus helped her heal and that dance can be expression, creativity, processing, release, or a way to get out of your head. She encourages starting with the end in mind, then taking small, realistic steps, sometimes just a few minutes alone with music, without fear of judgment. The conversation offers practical ideas like family dance parties, using Just Dance for guidance, exploring movement one body part at a time, and combining movement with writing, drawing, senses, and imagery like animals or weather. Annette invites listeners to DM her “brain” on Instagram for a free customized 20-minute movement session and mentions her podcast, The Dancepreneuring Studio.

The Neurodivergent Family Road Trip Survival Guide | Ep. 169 08.06.2026 27min

Samantha and Lauren introduce a multi-part series on road tripping, focusing in this episode on strategies for smoother car travel, especially for kids with autism. They explain why road trips are hard-loss of routine and predictability, sensory overload, limited autonomy, sibling noise conflicts, motion sickness, and movement needs—and emphasize that success is about regulation, not perfection. Tips include planning seating ahead of time, packing comfort items and regulation tools first (headphones, sunglasses, weighted items, fidgets), keeping snacks and water accessible, using GPS timing to reduce “are we there yet,” creating visual roadmaps/schedules, practicing expectations, building in movement breaks, and watching early meltdown signs.

How to Help Your Child With Dyslexia and Dysgraphia with Daniela Feldhausen | Ep. 168 01.06.2026 26min

Samantha and Lauren interview Daniella Feldhausen, a former DC attorney who founded Kids Up Reading Tutors after earning a master’s in special education and focusing on helping children with reading and spelling challenges, including dyslexia and dysgraphia. Daniella explains that her team tailors one-on-one, high-dosage tutoring (multiple sessions per week) based on a detailed skills evaluation rather than relying on a diagnosis, aiming to help students catch up quickly and build confidence.

Why Good Kids Get Bad Grades: Becoming Your Child’s Ally with Linda Silbert | Ep. 167 25.05.2026 29min

Samantha and Lauren interviews Dr. Linda Silbert of Strong Learning Incorporated about supporting neurodivergent learners and reframing bad grades as symptoms rather than reasons for punishment. Dr. Silbert urges parents to stop blaming children or schools, become detectives about root causes (academic, social, emotional, bullying, sensory, or anxiety), and approach teachers and IEP meetings collaboratively. She emphasizes repairing parent-child friction by apologizing, listening, and teaching practical study skills in short, effective bursts rather than long sessions, noting that stress can make students “blank” during tests. Dr. Silbert describes gamifying reading intervention, using card-deck games, fluency activities, and plays aligned with Orton-Gillingham, to reduce anxiety, build confidence, and improve reading, and shares resources including her new book Why Good Kids Get Bad Grades.

Why Your Child Holds It Together at School, Then Explodes at Home (And How Masking Plays a Role) | Ep. 166 18.05.2026 18min

Samantha and Lauren discuss how neurodivergent children may mask at school or other settings: suppressing stims, sensory distress, and authentic behavior to appear “typical” and then have meltdowns at home because home feels safest, a pattern also described as after-school restraint collapse. They emphasize that these explosions are nervous system and stress responses, not manipulation, and that chronic masking drains executive functioning and can leave kids in fight-or-flight. The episode outlines signs a child may be struggling at school (shutdowns, irritability, control-seeking, sibling conflict, isolation, increased PDA behaviors, avoiding help, and even not using the bathroom) and suggests ways to reduce nervous system load and improve safety at school through sensory-friendly routines, supportive accommodations, authenticity at home, and self-advocacy skills, while avoiding forced eye contact, dismissing concerns, over-scheduling, and rewarding extreme compliance.

Why Your Child ‘Falls Apart’ at Home (But Not at School) | Ep. 165 11.05.2026 24min

Samantha and Lauren open by discussing mom guilt and the importance of giving yourself grace when you miss commitments, lose your cool, or have hard parenting moments, emphasizing that apologies and tomorrow-as-a-reset matter. They then explain masking: children, especially neurodivergent kids, may hold it together at school and unravel at home because home is emotionally safe, not because parents are doing something wrong or the child is being manipulative. They describe how cognitive fatigue (executive-function demands), emotional exhaustion (managing expectations, social stress, fear of trouble, rejection sensitivity), and sensory overload (noise, lights, clothing discomfort) accumulate during the day, leaving kids with no capacity for even small demands like “How was your day?” They note masking can also differ between co-parents, and suggest school accommodations (movement, no forced eye contact, IEP/504 supports) and coping skills, with next week focused on making school feel safer.

How to Handle Finances When You Have ADHD with Julian Kohlbrand | Ep. 164 04.05.2026 31min

Samantha and Lauren interview Julianne Kohlbrand, an ADHD financial coach who became debt-free after $107,000 in consumer debt and a later-in-life ADHD diagnosis at 42, and now helps neurodivergent families simplify money management. Julianne shares how motherhood intensified overwhelm and led to her diagnosis, and explains that neurodivergent people often need different, less perfection-driven approaches than strict dollar-by-dollar budgets. Key strategies include giving yourself grace, automating bills, weekly calendar check-ins, reducing tempting triggers (like removing budget apps), using visuals and a “would you rather” gamified decision tool, and adding accountability partners while avoiding shame through agreed budgets and separate “fun money” line items for each spouse. They discuss impulse spending, the 24-hour cart rule, a separate email for bills, and ways to teach kids about money through open conversation, goal-setting, savings accounts, and age-based paid home tasks.

Why are Neurodivergent People Literal Thinkers? | Ep. 163 27.04.2026 22min

Samantha and Lauren discuss why many neurodivergent people may interpret language literally and communicate more directly, which neurotypical people can misread as rude. They define literal thinking as interpreting exact words rather than implied meaning, sarcasm, or social context, and share examples such as misunderstandings around figurative phrases (“break a leg”), social pleasantries (“we should hang out sometime”), sarcasm (“nice job”), vague directions (“do the dishes” vs. “clean the kitchen”), and hidden social rules (“make yourself at home”). They explain contributing factors, including a preference for clarity and precision, pragmatic language differences, cognitive load, and predictive processing theories, then outline the benefits of direct language (less confusion, faster problem-solving, clearer boundaries, less social exhaustion).

What is the difference between ADHD and Auditory Processing Disorder? | Ep. 162 20.04.2026 25min

Samantha and Lauren discuss how ADHD and Central Auditory Processing Disorder (APD) can look similar, distractibility, not following directions, zoning out, school struggles, but involve different underlying challenges: ADHD affects attention regulation and executive functioning, while APD involves difficulty processing spoken information despite normal hearing. They share examples and comparisons (e.g., difficulty in noisy classrooms, frequently saying “what,” slow verbal response time, mishearing similar words, and doing better with written/visual instructions), note that ineffective ADHD medication may indicate APD, and describe how APD can be supported with classroom microphones, hearing aids that modulate timing rather than amplify sound, reduced background noise, extra processing time, and checking understanding. They encourage parents to advocate for evaluations through pediatricians and appropriate specialists, use practical supports like one-step directions and routines, and provide positive feedback since neurodivergent kids receive disproportionate negative feedback.

What is the Difference Between Sensory Processing Disorder and Autism? | Ep. 161 13.04.2026 21min

Samantha and Lauren discuss sensory processing disorder (SPD) versus autism spectrum disorder, explaining what SPD is, where it overlaps with autism, and why sensory challenges alone do not mean autism; they note ADHD can also include sensory differences. They define SPD as difficulty detecting, modulating, or interpreting sensory input and emphasize it is used clinically but is not in the DSM-5, which can limit insurance resources, comparing this to PDA and sharing an example of a bipolar misdiagnosis used to access care. They define autism by social communication differences and restrictive/repetitive behaviors, with sensory reactivity included in criteria, and describe sensory patterns (hyperreactivity, hyporeactivity, and sensory seeking) with everyday examples. They recommend supports such as reducing sensory load, previewing transitions, offering choices (clothing, ear protection, movement breaks), tracking triggers, pursuing occupational therapy evaluations, and prioritizing function over label.

What to Know About Women and ADHD with Dr. Gilly Kahn | Ep. 160 06.04.2026 26min

Samantha welcomes back psychologist, mom, and writer Dr. Gilly Khan to discuss her book Allow Me to Interrupt, which focuses on emotional dysregulation and rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD) in females with ADHD. Dr. Kahn explains how she approaches families seeking or newly receiving an ADHD diagnosis, including considering psychological testing, consulting a psychiatrist, and discussing family preferences around medication and stigma. She describes how emotional dysregulation is strongly tied to ADHD but not included in DSM-5-TR criteria, cites Russell Barkley’s advocacy, and outlines what is known and less researched about RSD as popularized by William Dodson. Dr. Khan also discusses balancing ADHD strengths and challenges through accommodations, highlights the role of estrogen and dopamine across the female lifespan, and notes comorbidities such as migraines and their links to hormones and dopamine.

What is the Difference Between a 504 and an IEP? | Ep. 159 30.03.2026 27min

Samantha and Lauren explain key differences between 504 accommodation plans and IEPs to help parents know what to request when a child struggles at school. They describe how unsupported neurodivergent kids may be mislabeled as misbehaving, defiant, lazy, or unmotivated, and emphasize that children need an environment that works with their brain, not to “try harder.” A 504 plan is generally easier to obtain, doesn’t require a diagnosis, and provides accommodations (e.g., extra test time, movement breaks, preferential seating, reduced homework, sensory supports) within general education without specialized instruction. An IEP adds individualized goals, specialized instruction, related services (speech, OT, PT, music therapy), possible pullout support, progress tracking, and stricter eligibility based on assessment and educational impact. They advise requesting evaluations in writing, asking questions in meetings, pushing back when needed, and being a persistent advocate in an under-resourced system.

Why Are Autistic Kids Labeled as Rigid? (Part 2) | Ep. 158 23.03.2026 21min

Samantha and Lauren continue their discussion on why autistic and ADHD kids may seem like rigid thinkers, focusing on their need for clear rules and consistent expectations to feel regulated and safe. They explain how inconsistent enforcement or differing rules across households can create confusion, dysregulation, and even meltdowns, and suggest strategies like clearly explaining why rules differ, writing down major house rules for caregivers, and building routines that allow exceptions without breaking the “system.” They reframe “rigid” as a misunderstanding of neurodivergent needs for structure, predictability, and clarity, noting that different processes can still lead to the same outcome. The hosts emphasize supporting structure with advance notice, clear expectations, predictable routines, and choice within structure, while teaching flexibility and coping skills when calm.\

Why are Autistic Kids Labeled as Rigid? (Part 1) | Ep. 157 16.03.2026 19min

Samantha and Lauren begin a two-part discussion on why autistic people are often labeled “rigid.” They argue the label frequently reflects a neurotypical expectation that others should do things “the correct way,” while autistic people may rely on predictability for clarity, structure, and safety. Using a “manual vs. automatic transmission” analogy, they explain how unclear expectations increase cognitive load and anxiety, which can look like inflexibility or lead to meltdowns. They reframe routines (same breakfast, clothes, routes) as regulation and efficiency, emphasize giving kids autonomy where possible, and suggest strategies like alternating choices in therapy or “sandwiching” hard tasks between preferred ones. They note most environments are built for neurotypical processing, so routines act as scaffolding for navigating sensory and social unpredictability, and they will continue the remaining segments next week.