TOP SELF | Tips on Jealousy and Insecurity in Relationships

Épisodes

• What Your Hardest Feelings Are Trying To Tell You w/ Daniel Smith EP 137 02.06.2026 38min

  Purchase Daniels Book - Hard Feelings: Finding the Wisdom in Our Darkest Emotions In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn sits down with psychotherapist and New York Times bestselling author Daniel Smith to explore a question most of us never stop to ask: What if the emotions you're trying hardest to get rid of are actually trying to help you? Whether it's jealousy, shame, envy, regret, or anxiety, many of us spend our lives chasing relief—seeking reassurance, distracting ourselves, or try...
• Still in Your Jealousy Hangover? Try This. EP 136 28.04.2026 16min

  You messed up. You spiraled. You said something you wish you could take back. And now you feel terrible — which actually means you're doing something right. Feeling bad after a jealous episode is healthy. It means you care. But there's a difference between feeling bad and living there. And if you're someone who stays in the spiral for hours, days, or even weeks after a jealous episode — replaying it, shutting down, telling yourself you're broken and unlovable — this episode is for you. Beca...
• Still Mad. Still Wrong. Here's Why. EP 135 07.04.2026 16min

  You knew you were wrong the second he flipped that phone around. Nothing suspicious. Just a bacon recipe. And somehow you were still annoyed at him. That feeling has a name — and once you understand it, you can’t unsee it. You’ve done the spiral. You built the whole case in your head. And then the truth came out and it was… a bacon recipe. You know you were wrong. They know you were wrong. And somehow you’re still a little irritated at them. This episode is about that moment — the one most pe...
• You're Already Living Worst Case Scenario EP 134 24.03.2026 33min

  You’re Already Living the Worst Case Scenario What if the thing you’re most afraid of happening would actually hurt less than what you’re putting yourself through right now? It sounds hard to believe—but there’s real research behind it. In this solo episode, Shanenn digs into why the jealous spiral itself is the worst-case scenario—not the thing you’re afraid of. You’re not waiting for the bad thing to happen. You’re already in it. From Harvard psychologist Daniel Gilbert’s Impact...
• What If Your "What Ifs" Were Wrong EP 133 10.03.2026 30min

  You know that voice in your head—the one that takes a missed text or a sideways glance and turns it into a full-blown crisis? That's your What If Machine, and it's been running the show for way too long. In this episode, Shanenn breaks down why your brain defaults to worst-case scenarios, where those fear stories actually come from (spoiler: it's usually not your current partner), and how those protective instincts end up creating the exact outcome you're terrified of. She also walks you thro...
• Secure People Just Think Differently EP 132 24.02.2026 18min

  We're on YouTube - Join us there. In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn explores one of the most confusing and isolating experiences for anyone who struggles with jealousy: watching a secure person stay completely calm in a situation that would send you into a spiral. Starting with a vivid poolside story that will feel painfully relatable, Shanenn breaks down why secure people aren’t blind to what’s happening around them—they just don’t assign the same meaning to it. She explains how yo...
• What It Means When The Spark Is Gone EP 131 10.02.2026 21min

  Enroll Today for 30 Days to Different Does your relationship feel… quieter lately? The butterflies are gone. The texts are shorter. Affection feels different. And now your brain is spiraling: Did they lose interest? Is this my fault? Is the spark gone? In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn breaks down what’s actually happening when the intensity fades in a long-term relationship — especially if you struggle with jealousy, insecurity, or fear of abandonment. You’ll learn why early love ...
• 3 Lies Insecurity Tells You Ep 130 03.02.2026 33min

  🦋. 30 Days to Different is starting soon - ENROLL TODAY Insecurity doesn’t always scream. Sometimes, it whispers lies that keep us stuck. In this solo episode, Shanenn unpacks the three most convincing lies insecurity tells you—and why they feel so real even when they’re not. Whether it’s the urge to check their phone, overanalyze tone, or control every detail in your relationship… this episode will help you finally understand what’s really driving that behavior and how to stop reacting from ...
• Get It Out Of Your Jealous Head W/ Annette Furio EP 129 30.12.2025 28min

  If you’ve ever felt stuck in a mental loop, replaying conversations, spiraling into insecurity, or feeling something is wrong but you can’t quite name it—this episode is for you. In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn sits down with Annette Furio, founder of Season Journals, to talk about how journaling can help you slow down, make sense of your thoughts, and create space between what you feel and how you react. f your brain feels loud or stuck, this episode is about giving those thoughts somew...
• Calm You vs. Anxious You. Who's Telling The Truth? EP 128 23.12.2025 12min

  In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn breaks down a question so many people quietly struggle with—especially this time of year: Why do I feel calm and trusting with my partner sometimes… and anxious, suspicious, or insecure with them at other times—when nothing has actually changed? As the holidays approach and routines shift, old patterns can resurface. Shanenn explains why these emotional swings don’t mean you’re inconsistent, broken, or ignoring red flags. Instead, they’re signals from your...
• How To Keep Your Reactions From Being Bigger Than the Moment EP 127 16.12.2025 20min

  In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn breaks down why small moments in your relationship can trigger huge emotional reactions. If you’ve ever felt embarrassed by your reaction, overwhelmed by jealousy, or hijacked by anxiety over something that logically felt minor, this episode explains what’s really happening beneath the surface. Shanenn introduces the concept of emotional agility—the ability to feel deeply without losing yourself—and explains why trust, confidence, and security aren’t built...
• Why Your Anxious Attachment Picks Terrible Partners EP 126 02.12.2025 40min

  If you've ever thought "I'm too much," felt shame around your jealousy, or struggled with feeling "needy" in relationships, this episode will be a relief and a revelation. Shanenn sits down with Trevor Hansen, coach and founder of The Art of Healing, to dismantle the shame loop of anxious attachment and show how it can be transformed into self-trust and secure connection. Trevor shares his raw personal story—from toxic relationships and a broken jaw to leaving a high-powered career at Tesla—a...
• You're Not a Jerk, You're a Genius EP 125 18.11.2025 29min

  🦋 Join the experience - enroll in 30 Days to Different today! In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn flips the script on what it means to be “the jealous one” in a relationship—and trust us, you’ll never see your spirals the same again. Ever swear you’re not going to snoop, spiral, or snap... and then do it anyway? That doesn’t mean you’re some controlling jerk. It means you’ve got a genius-level nervous system doing exactly what it was wired to do: keep you safe. This solo episode unpac...
• Do You Need to Change Your Partner or Your Patterns EP 124 28.10.2025 39min

  Schedule your Discovery Call here In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn dives into one of the most exhausting relationship cycles—when you keep second-guessing your partner, breaking up, getting back together, and wondering if they’re “the one.” The truth? Your confusion isn’t about your partner. It’s about your pattern. If you’ve ever caught yourself analyzing every text, tone, or gesture, or if you’re tired of asking “should I stay or should I go?”, this episode will hit home. Shanenn un...
• What Would Your Life Be Like If You Weren't Jealous EP 123 21.10.2025 38min

  Schedule your FREE Discovery Call In this powerful solo episode, Shanenn cracks open a question many of us quietly carry: “If I weren’t jealous… who would I be?” From the deck of a cruise ship years ago to the emotional trenches of everyday hypervigilance, Shanenn walks you through how jealousy feels like its become your identity—and how to begin shedding it. She reveals why your brain clings to jealousy like a job, how it tricks you into thinking you're protecting yourself, and the truth a...
• Is Alcohol Making Your Jealousy Worse EP 122 14.10.2025 35min

  Schedule your FREE 30-Minute Discovery Call here In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn gets real about a silent habit that so many listeners can relate to—but few talk about openly: using alcohol to cope with jealousy, anxiety, and emotional overwhelm in relationships. From the glass of wine that helps you "take the edge off" before date night… to the third drink that leads to a spiral of shame, regret, and disconnection—this episode breaks down what’s really happening when we reach for a drin...
• What Does It Mean If Your Partner Flirts EP 121 07.10.2025 30min

  Schedule your FREE Discovery Call In this solo episode of Top Self, host Shanenn dives deep into one of the most anxiety-triggering scenarios in relationships: witnessing your partner flirt with someone else. Is it a sign they’re unhappy? Are they secretly interested in someone else? Or…could it mean something entirely different? Drawing from scientific research and her personal journey, Shanenn shares the six core reasons people flirt—and reveals that only one of them is actually about sex. ...
• Why Your Brain Needs To Talk It Out EP 120 23.09.2025 26min

  Enroll in the Behind Your Jealous Mind Bootcamp starting soon! In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn shares a deeply relatable scenario: it’s 10 p.m., you’re staring at your phone, spiraling over a text that simply says, “Okay, sounds good. Talk to you tomorrow.” If that’s ever sent you into an emotional tailspin, this episode is for you. We explore why relationship insecurity creates an overwhelming urge to process everything out loud—and why your friends might be reaching their limit. Shanen...
• This Is Why Your Partner Is Not Meeting Your Needs EP 119 16.09.2025 33min

  In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn breaks down one of the most common communication traps in relationships: expecting your partner to read your mind. Whether you're silently hoping your partner just knows you need a hug—or you're dropping hints that never land—this episode is your guide to getting what you actually need without spiraling, snapping, or shutting down. From attachment styles to the six human needs, Shanenn explains why asking isn’t needy—it’s necessary—and gives you the exact ...
• Is This What You Needed To Hear EP 118 05.08.2025 21min

  In this powerful episode of Top Self, Shanenn Bryant delivers something your inner child may have never received: acknowledgment, validation, and the words you needed most. This episode is a gentle but honest space for anyone who grew up feeling unseen, unprotected, or responsible for everyone else’s emotions. Shanenn talks about how childhood trauma—whether loud or silent—gets stored in the body and shapes adult patterns. Through reflections on her own healing journey and a moving mess...