Finding Solace
Solace
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Finding Solace is a show that connects people to the real world around them through actionable insights for everyday people. No fluff, no signaling, just talking. From dating, to clean eating, masculinity, and finance, I cover the things that every 18-34 year old guy needs to know.
Épisodes
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the art of spending money - #055 11.08.2026 18minToday I talk about the art of spending money, how we are irrational creatures, how budgeting doesn't bring joy and fulfillment in life, and how you can use your money to improve your life and create meaning.---Sign up for feelwrite, my habit tracking app and use code SOLACE for 25% off a lifetime package: https://feelwrite.app/Support the show monthly: https://solacespeaks.com/My bookshop: https://bookshop.org/shop/solacereadsMy Discord: https://discord.com/invite/jreFGvRmGd -
The Ultimate Guide To Dating In 2026 - #054 20.07.2026 38minToday's episode is the ultimate deep dive into the world of dating in 2026. We talk about the problems with modern dating, how to be more comfortable socially, how to talk to strangers, how to meet women, how to get a girl's number, how to plan first, second, and third dates and how to ask her to be your girlfriend. ---Sign up for feelwrite, my habit tracking app and use code SOLACE for 25% off a lifetime package: https://feelwrite.app/Support the show monthly: https://solacespeaks.com/My bookshop: https://bookshop.org/shop/solacereadsMy Discord: https://discord.com/invite/jreFGvRmGd
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the fear of being average - #053 08.07.2026 20minIn this episode I'm talking about the fear of being average, and why wanting a normal life with a regular job, a few friends, and some hobbies that don't make money has somehow become embarrassing. I break down the two types of guys this pressure creates: the grindset guy filming every second of his hustle, and the checked-out basement guy who's decided the whole game is rigged. They look like opposites, but I explain why they're both running from the same thing, and why neither one can accept being ordinary.I get into why the internet keeps pushing us toward these extremes, how it plays out in dating, the "normie" insult, main character energy, and how Maslow's hierarchy fits into all of it. The main point is that a lot of the people telling you normal is a failure are the ones selling you the exit, and your dissatisfaction is what makes them money. I close with one small thing you can try this week to notice where that "not enough" feeling is actually coming from.---Support the show for as little as $2 per month: https://solacespeaks.com/My habit tracking app: https://feelwrite.app/My bookshop: https://bookshop.org/shop/solacereadsMy Discord: https://discord.com/invite/jreFGvRmGd
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open your eyes, the world is beautiful - #052 03.07.2026 13minIn today's episode, I talk about how easy it is to fall into a doomer trap, how to have hope in a hopeless society, the beauty and humanity of the world around you, and how everything will be okay if you slow down and pay attention to what's happening in your life.---Support the show for as little as $2 per month: https://solacespeaks.com/My habit tracking app: https://feelwrite.app/My bookshop: https://bookshop.org/shop/solacereadsMy Discord: https://discord.com/invite/jreFGvRmGd
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why you feel empty, bored, and unfulfilled - #051 26.06.2026 23minIn today's episode, I talk about why you feel empty, bored, and unfulfilled through the lens of Alan Watts and his discussions on the different models of the universe. This video dives into Alan Watts' ceramic, fully automatic, and dramatic models of the universe, how to find meaning in the world, and much more!-----check out my notes and support the channel:https://solacespeaks.com/supporters/posts/245179Check out my habit tracking app: https://feelwrite.app/My bookshop: https://bookshop.org/shop/solacereadsJoin The Discord: https://discord.com/invite/jreFGvRmGd
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1 hour of dating advice that changed my life (compilation) 15.06.2026 1h 17minIn today's episode, I go through 1+ hour of dating advice, from dealing with rejection to addressing the problems with the modern dating scene. This is a compilation of previous uploads that are focused on dating and dating advice.---Check out my habit tracking app: https://feelwrite.app/Enjoy the show? Buy me a coffee or become a member: https://solacespeaks.com/My bookshop: https://bookshop.org/shop/solacereadsJoin The Discord: https://discord.com/invite/jreFGvRmGd
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slowing down will change your life - #050 12.06.2026 13minIn today's episode, I talk about the burnout and frustration that so many of us feel when caught in the relentless cycle of modern adult life and the corporate grind. I explore how our society indoctrinates us to constantly live for the future: climbing the ladder, increasing our spending, and hyper-optimizing our day, which robs us of the simple joys we used to effortlessly experience as kids. Instead of constantly stressing over how far we have left to go, I share a few practical ways to actually slow down and enjoy the present moment. From ditching the need to be hyper-productive and taking intentional time just to sit and think, to learning a lesson in mindfulness from our dogs and reconnecting with nature, this is a reminder that we should be working to live, not living to work.---Check out my habit tracking app: https://feelwrite.app/Enjoy the show? Buy me a coffee or become a member: https://solacespeaks.com/My bookshop: https://bookshop.org/shop/solacereadsJoin The Discord: https://discord.com/invite/jreFGvRmGd
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why you don't feel like an adult - #049 04.06.2026 15minIf you are above the age of 18 and still don't feel like an adult, there's a good reason for that. In today's episode, I talk about the rite of passage that comes with adulthood, the increase in responsibilities, and how to grow up properly and take control of your life.---Check out my habit tracking app: https://feelwrite.app/Enjoy the show? Buy me a coffee or become a member: https://solacespeaks.com/My bookshop: https://bookshop.org/shop/solacereadsJoin The Discord: https://discord.com/invite/jreFGvRmGd
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the spectacle of modern dating - #048 01.06.2026 17minIn today's episode, I talk about the spectacle of modern dating: how dating apps have destroyed people's brains, the commodification of romance, the social media spectacle and how to take charge of your dating life in 2026.---Check out my habit tracking app: https://feelwrite.app/Enjoy the show? Buy me a coffee or become a member: https://solacespeaks.com/My bookshop: https://bookshop.org/shop/solacereadsJoin The Discord: https://discord.com/invite/jreFGvRmGd
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stop letting the world steal your spirit - #047 27.05.2026 15minThe world is designed to steal your spirit and push you down. How can you prevent the world from stealing your spirit? In today's episode, I talk about asking questions, playing, and having hope for a better future.---Check out my habit tracking app: https://feelwrite.app/Enjoy the show? Buy me a coffee or become a member: https://solacespeaks.com/My bookshop: https://bookshop.org/shop/solacereadsJoin The Discord: https://discord.com/invite/jreFGvRmGd
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the art of a perfect summer - #046 17.05.2026 13minIn today's episode, I talk about why the modern obsession with treating summer as a 90-day productivity bootcamp is completely ruining the most magical time of the year. It's so easy to fall into the trap of using the summer months strictly to optimize your future by endlessly grinding on a business or side hustle, but those aren't the summers you'll look back on fondly. Instead, I outline the formula for a renaissance summer and finding the perfect middle ground between rotting away on the couch and burning out from overwork. By picking just one specific, daily challenge to anchor your routine and spending the rest of your day deliberately saying "yes" to spontaneous, offline experiences with friends, you can actually build a lasting foundation for a happier, well-rounded life.---Check out my habit tracking app: https://feelwrite.app/Enjoy the show? Buy me a coffee or become a member: https://solacespeaks.com/My bookshop: https://bookshop.org/shop/solacereadsJoin The Discord: https://discord.com/invite/jreFGvRmGd
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this is your sign to go all in - #045 14.05.2026 10minIn today's episode, I talk about why doing things with half effort is the quickest way to end up going absolutely nowhere. Instead of falling into the toxic self-improvement trap of trying to juggle a million different "priorities" at once, I explain why you need to pick a singular focus and go all in. We explore the core lesson from the book Essentialism about preserving your energy for what actually matters, and draw inspiration from the movie Perfect Days to show how dedicating maximum effort to a simple task can bring profound fulfillment. Finally, I touch on the philosophy of Byung-Chul Han's The Burnout Society to remind us that when we choose to go all in on a goal, we should be doing it solely to meet our own internal standards of excellence—not for external validation or the approval of others.---Check out my habit tracking app: https://feelwrite.app/Enjoy the show? Buy me a coffee or become a member: https://solacespeaks.com/My bookshop: https://bookshop.org/shop/solacereadsJoin The Discord: https://discord.com/invite/jreFGvRmGd
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we are funding the world we hate - #044 09.05.2026 15minIn today's episode, I talk about how our constant pursuit of convenience is actually making us more disconnected, anxious, and lonely. While it is easy to blame corporations for the lack of community spaces and the rise of mindless consumption, the truth is that we are voluntarily voting for this world with our everyday choices and our wallets. We trick ourselves into thinking that drive-thrus, food delivery, and AI tools save us time for things we care about, but we usually just waste that saved time scrolling on our screens. Worse, we are now outsourcing the core experiences of being human (like thinking, writing, and connecting with others) to algorithms and apps. To break free from this passenger mode lifestyle, I share how we can reclaim our humanity by deliberately choosing inconvenience in small ways every day. By making the conscious effort to walk to a local coffee shop, go to the library, or just leave the phone at home, we introduce the healthy friction needed to build genuine relationships and make our neighborhoods feel alive again. ---Check out my habit tracking app: https://feelwrite.app/Enjoy the show? Buy me a coffee or become a member: https://solacespeaks.com/My bookshop: https://bookshop.org/shop/solacereadsJoin The Discord: https://discord.com/invite/jreFGvRmGd
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how to make new friends in 2026 - #043 05.05.2026 18minIn today's episode, I talk about why making friends as an adult in 2026 feels so much harder than it did back in the golden days of 2010 gaming lobbies, and how we can actually fix it. I dive into how our constant reliance on smartphones and social media is creating an invisible barrier that blocks spontaneous, real-world connections. To help you break out of that cycle, I lay out a practical step-by-step guide to building lifelong relationships. We cover the importance of putting your phone away in public to invite natural interactions, how to strike up casual conversations using simple observations, and why diving headfirst into new, even weirdly niche hobbies gives you the perfect material to connect over. Finally, I explain why establishing a routine in your local community is the secret to getting those crucial repeat interactions, and exactly how to confidently "shoot your shot" to turn a casual acquaintance into a true friend.---Check out my habit tracking app: https://feelwrite.app/Enjoy the show? Buy me a coffee or become a member: https://solacespeaks.com/My bookshop: https://bookshop.org/shop/solacereadsJoin The Discord: https://discord.gg/jreFGvRmG
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why crushes are so painful - #042 01.05.2026 20minHave you ever wondered why crushes are so painful? Have you ever thought about someone all day, even though you've never spoken to them before? In today's episode, I dive deep into the world of crushes and explain why they make you feel the way you do.---Check out my habit tracking app: https://feelwrite.app/Enjoy the show? Buy me a coffee or become a member: https://solacespeaks.com/My bookshop: https://bookshop.org/shop/solacereadsJoin The Discord: https://discord.gg/jreFGvRmG
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how to make 2026 the best year of your life (its not too late) - #041 29.04.2026 14minToday I talk about why making a fresh start in a new year is so difficult and how you can actually make 2026 different. We often set unrealistic goals in January, only to burn out by March because we try to change everything at once. True change does not come from big resolutions but from small, sustainable habit loops. By focusing on a clear cue, a simple routine, and a rewarding result, you can build new behaviors that eventually run on autopilot.To make this year truly successful, I suggest focusing on keystone habits. These are small actions that create a positive chain reaction in other parts of your life, such as going to bed earlier to improve your energy, diet, and fitness. However, I also argue that life is not just a project to be optimized. The modern world wants to turn you into a consumer who treats every moment as a means to an end. To regain your humanity, you must set aside time for play, exploration, and genuine connection with the real world around you, rather than just chasing productivity.---Check out my habit tracking app: https://feelwrite.app/Enjoy the show? Buy me a coffee or become a member: https://solacespeaks.com/My bookshop: https://bookshop.org/shop/solacereadsJoin The Discord: https://discord.gg/jreFGvRmG
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stop taking yourself so seriously - #040 20.04.2026 22minIn today's episode, I talk about the trap of constantly optimizing for a future that may never arrive. Most of us live our lives as a series of transactions, treating every moment as a means to an end, whether that is working a job to pay for a vacation or rushing through a game to reach the final level. We have turned our lives into a mechanical project, converting time into money and experiences into data. This perspective strips the world of its wonder, leaving us feeling isolated and disconnected from the reality of the present moment.To break this cycle, I argue that we need to practice a form of true materialism. This is not about the modern obsession with wealth and status, but rather the original philosophical idea that everything around us—the trees, the air, and the food we eat—is physical and real. True materialism means increasing your presence with what already exists. It means learning to exist in the physical space around you and appreciating things for what they are, rather than what they represent about your identity. We should stop taking life so seriously and learn to dance, treating the goal of life not as a destination to reach, but as a continuous process of being here.-----become a member to check out my summary:https://solacespeaks.com/supporters/posts/225212read "just so" by Alan Watts here:https://bookshop.org/shop/solacereadsCheck out my habit tracking app: https://feelwrite.app/Join The Discord: https://discord.gg/jreFGvRmG
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how to deal with rejection - #039 15.04.2026 11minShorter, more straightforward and simpler. Today I talk about the fear of rejection and how it often causes us to reject ourselves before anyone else does. In high school, I was an awkward guy who tried so hard to fit in that I became unnatural. This fear creates a version of you that people find hard to connect with. We often have a bias where we think neutral moments are negative, like assuming someone hates us just because they didn't laugh at a joke. Realizing that most people are actually focused on themselves can give you the freedom to finally act like yourself.When you stop rehearsing your personality, you stop presenting a fake version of yourself to the world. Authentic living might lead to some rejection, but the friends you do make will actually like you for who you are. Rejection is not a reflection of your worth, it is just a part of life that everyone experiences. You can build confidence by having simple, low-stakes conversations without worrying about the outcome. True confidence means being okay with a no and moving on respectfully while still being a person that others enjoy being around.-----Check out my habit tracking app: https://feelwrite.app/Enjoy the show? Buy me a coffee or become a member: https://solacespeaks.com/My bookshop: https://bookshop.org/shop/solacereadsJoin The Discord: https://discord.gg/jreFGvRmG
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you don't need a girlfriend - #038 08.04.2026 11minGemini said Today I talk about why you don't need a girlfriend, no matter how much society or your own insecurities try to convince you otherwise. I explore the trap of seeking a relationship to fill an internal void. This often leads to an inauthentic life where you design your gym routines and social circles solely to attract others. A relationship is not a fix for your personal shortcomings. Treating it as a trophy or a solution only creates a hollow dynamic. Instead, I argue that a truly powerful connection consists of two entire people who understand their own visions and identities before coming together in harmony.To reach this state, you must focus on finding out who you really are by pushing beyond the boundaries of your comfort zone. This means engaging in meaningful friction by trying hobbies you might suck at or challenging your pre-existing ideas. You should also learn to be comfortable in your own company. By filling your own internal void through self-exploration and personal growth, you build a firm identity that allows you to contribute to the world. Ultimately, it is only by becoming a whole person first that you can attract a partner who aligns with your true values and build a relationship that actually lasts.-----Check out my habit tracking app: https://feelwrite.app/Enjoy the show? Buy me a coffee or become a member: https://solacespeaks.com/My bookshop: https://bookshop.org/shop/solacereadsJoin The Discord: https://discord.gg/jreFGvRmG
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the corporate machine is designed to break you - #037 02.04.2026 1h 7minWe live in a world that is focused on exploiting you for your time, your money, and your attention. You have to work long hours for little pay to make money to spend on pointless items that are shoved down your throat through manipulative marketing. Your data is being used against you. You are part of a system that keeps you burnt out and hopeless, and privacy is getting progressively worse.Today, I talk about the burnout society, online privacy, the corporate machine, and the surveillance state along with anecdotes on how to distance yourself from this system. I give you some guidance on how to improve your privacy online, how to open source your online life and how to find meaning in the real world.-----Check out my habit tracking app: https://feelwrite.app/Enjoy the show? Buy me a coffee or become a member:htthttps://solacespeaks.com/My bookshop: https://bookshop.org/shop/solacereadsJoin The Discord: https://discord.gg/jreFGvRmG
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