Confidence

Épisodes

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  Nothing at Stake 16.08.2026 57min

  This week we are getting into the contrast between anxious and avoidant patterns. I wrote something down that I feel describes the dynamic perfectly. I will discuss my own challenges with avoidance and how I am working towards healing it. I also recap a situation from last week's episode where a listener quickly backed off a relationship. I discuss how to lead with more curiosity and less defensiveness. This is not just about being the bigger person, but becoming so much more.Ready to break the pattern, apply to work with me: https://confidencechris.com/mentorship-applicationChapters: 00:00 Curiosity vs. Assumption20:08 High Standards or Just Avoidant30:27 Avoidant vs Anxious Patterns53:56 "You're Not Anxious, You're Just Dating a Loser"
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  Intensity Isn't Intimacy 09.08.2026 1h 4min

  My boy asked me .. how do you tell the difference between intensity and actual intimacy (especially in a push/pull dynamic where it's hard to tell the difference)? I share my thoughts on what I feel the difference is and how to identify it. But before I get into that, I play a voice note from a girl who is navigating a similar situation about a guy who communicated his lack of certainty to her, and how she feels guilty for ending it so quickly. I'll share an update about my life, on staying away from safe connections, and reflecting on the pattern of dating women who have mostly approached me (and why I think that might not be the way).Ready to break the pattern, apply to work with me: https://confidencechris.com/mentorship-applicationChapters: 00:00 My New Approach to Dating11:03 Voice Note: Dating the Right Person, Cut Him Off, Then Guilt Tripped38:55 Intensity vs Actual Intimacy
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  Narcissist or Victim 02.08.2026 1h 13min

  I saw a video this week that said people who lack empathy are garbage, and it triggered me into a rabbit hole about narcissism. This will be confrontational and controversial, but really my goal is to give you an alternate perspective on how this is defined in our culture and the dynamics that are created by both partners. I get into why the person giving and giving is also being selfish, and how/why your resentment is an indicator. I walk through a listener situation where the guy starts to distance himself after he gets emotionally vulnerable. I'll give you my take on why this happens and how to let go when it does. Remember, empathy is not responsibility.Ready to break the pattern, apply to work with me: https://confidencechris.com/mentorship-applicationChapters: 0:00 Narcissists vs Victims34:07 When Empathy Goes Too Far37:47 Handling Resentment45:44 Angry When Someone Stops Choosing You52:29 Listener's Situation: Distance After Getting Too Close
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  Peace of Mind 26.07.2026 1h 8min

  Isn’t it crazy how those shorter relationships can hit way harder than the longer ones? Today I reflect on this, and what would happen if that person ever came back. I then lean into how my views of compatibility vs. chemistry have shifted, while still battling guilt when I admit and enforce my high standards. I then get into whether I still deal with imposter syndrome, perfectionism, and procrastination. Yes, but no, and I’ll share how to overcome them. I then go in on whether or not you should admit your feelings to your FWB. Is the gateway to peace of mind really blowing shit up?Ready to break the pattern, apply to work with me: https://confidencechris.com/mentorship-applicationChapters:(00:00) Introduction(04:11) Why Short Relationships Hit So Hard(34:50) Imposter Syndrome and Self-Sabotage(53:06) Confessing Your Feelings to Your FWB
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  Out of Your Head 19.07.2026 1h 7min

  If you have anxious attachment, this episode is going to be a gut punch, but a necessary one. The truth is, most people don't have a feeling problem, they have a thinking problem. I'll show you what you can't see about chasing and caring for someone who doesn't seem to show the same energy back. Let's get into it. This week I'm fresh off an emergency landing, and now I'm heading to Cancun for a wedding, but the stove is on hot. I answer two situations from my guys. The first one spent two years chasing a girl who barely gave effort. I'll deep dive his and her final response. I'll walk you through the white t-shirt exercise that shows what's really controlling your dating life. The second situation is about a guy who can't seem to shake the feeling he messed things up. Then a situation about waiting on a partner to step up financially, and why your body already has that answer. I'll teach you how to get out of your head, feel your truth, and own it.Ready to break the pattern, apply to work with me: https://confidencechris.com/mentorship-application
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  Insecurity or Intuition 12.07.2026 1h 7min

  So I broke my celibacy, and may have pulled my groin in the process. This somehow spun off into an analogy about how I got the ick from cigarettes and letting go of toxic relationships (aka emotional cigarettes), trust me it’s sensational. Then I get into the situation everyone obsesses over: is it insecure to want your partner to unfollow people on social media, or is your gut telling you something real? I break down the difference between soothing your fear through control and what trusting someone actually looks like. I close on whether the real work happens in a relationship or out of one. Ready to break the pattern, apply to work with me: https://confidencechris.com/mentorship-application
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  Avoiding Anxiousness 05.07.2026 1h 9min

  So this was a very unexpected week to say the least. I saw the most attractive girl I've seen in years, didn't shoot my shot, and came home feeling like shit. I'll talk about why and the importance of taking the risk. This then leads into a story about an unexpected new connection that caught me off guard. It's crazy how the smallest moments can shine a light on your internal fears and triggers. I'll share how deep my anxious avoidance still runs: the waiting, the phone checking, and how I soothe myself through it now instead of punishing myself for my fear. I'll also discuss how to navigate judgment from those closest to you, and then I close with a situation about why it's so hard to move on from a relationship that made you miserable.Ready to break the pattern, apply to work with me: https://confidencechris.com/mentorship-application
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  Emotionally Celibate 28.06.2026 1h 8min

  This is going to be a Dear Diary episode. A podcast journal of how I am feeling at my core. I've been in a mini funk, but somehow it's also the most peace I've felt in my life in a long time. The duality of it all ... Really what's happening is that I'm emotionally celibate, and that's brought me an enormous amount of clarity, but also this weird blank page feeling. I get honest about feeling lonely (not the desperate kind), being uninspired even though I love my life, and being at the point where I'm established and ready to actually enjoy it with somebody. Then I shift gears to a situation about someone going slow with a girl who isn't offering what they really want, and we get into how easily people back off their truth because they want to be wanted, and how everybody's managing everybody else's expectations, and why most of us don't even see our own inauthenticity. Ready to break the pattern, apply to work with me: https://confidencechris.com/mentorship-application
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  Attracted to Chaos 21.06.2026 1h 3min

  To be real, last week I hadn't been feeling my best. I care about showing up confident (and not looking weak), so I tend to mask those feelings. That's how our conversation starts. I get into detail about why I am the way I am. I'll walk you through how I grew up insecure and rebellious, all the way till now, and why I still deeply crave attention. I then shift gears to a situation sent in by a listener around if cheaters actually change. I will share her story of how she had been living a lie with this man and why many people are attracted to dishonesty. All of this ties back to our own internal beliefs and attachment patterns that shape who we are and how we show up in our lives and relationships today.Ready to break the pattern, apply to work with me: https://confidencechris.com/mentorship-application
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  Bounce Back 14.06.2026 1h 2min

  The real work begins, not when you decide to leave, but directly after. It’s the weeks and days following that force you to face yourself and face your fears. Today, we are talking about getting back on your feet, leaving guilt and proving behind, and the real glow up post breakup. Maybe they are with someone new, maybe you are just determined to let go, today’s episode is a direct challenge to take the risk of choosing yourself.Ready to break the pattern, apply to work with me: https://confidencechris.com/mentorship-application
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  Hard to Leave 07.06.2026 56min

  Why is it so hard to let go when you know something isn't right? Last episode I told you I ended my situationship, and this time it feels final. In this episode, I share how difficult it is to actually separate and how no contact gets harder before it gets easier. I start off with a question about not being ready to commit, and how I called Jay in a panic to "talk me off the ledge" when I was feeling overwhelmed with doubt and potential regret. I answer a few listener situations about people stuck in situationships they can't seem to leave, and I break down why it's sometimes easier to settle. I am going to really challenge your feelings in this episode, be prepared to face your fear and question your current choices.Ready to break the pattern, apply to work with me: https://confidencechris.com/mentorship-application
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  Casual Is Dead 31.05.2026 1h 16min

  Something major is shifting in my love life. Today I am going to share with you a few personal stories, about letting go of a situationship, guilty feelings after a hookup, and ending old habits. Before that my friend asked me about the pettiest thing that gives me the ick, and if I get more icked out now that I am shifting to looking for love versus sex. I will discuss why people are dishonest in relationships and why people struggle to create peace in their relationships. I will also respond to a situation about talking to multiple people if you are still single. Can you date with intention and still allow yourself to be a little messy?Ready to break the pattern, apply to work with me: https://confidencechris.com/mentorship-application
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  Chemistry x Compatibility 24.05.2026 1h 11min

  Is intense chemistry actually a bad thing? In today's episode, I'll share a listener's dilemma around this trending idea that chemistry doesn't matter at all. I break down what exactly chemistry and compatibility mean to me, and how they work in tandem with each other. I'll relate it to a client story about falling hard for someone despite massive red flags, and why anxious people can mistake activated nervous systems for chemistry. This will then lead us down a road deeper than this discussion around why you even want a relationship in the first place. I answer a situation about a guy wanting to reach out to his ex and why you might have the urge to rekindle something with someone who didn't desire you. Can you face your fear of being insignificant to this person? Is your happiness limited to one experience?Ready to break the pattern, apply to work with me: https://confidencechris.com/mentorship-application
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  Something to Prove 17.05.2026 1h 6min

  Why are you staying in that inconsistent relationship? Is it really because you have hope things will be different or is it actually because you have something to prove? I start today's episode by answering if it's "wrong" to reach out after being ghosted. I will then tackle two situations side-by-side about women who are in identical hot-and-cold multi-year situationships. I'll breakdown why inconsistent relationships are so addicting, how to emotionally detach, and explore whether or not you are being manipulated or if you are being too much. I'll also answer a question about catching feelings hard early on in relationships. Today is going to be a massive reality check with a philosophical twist (such as what is wrong and right, and societal standards). You are going to love this one.Ready to break the pattern, apply to work with me: https://confidencechris.com/mentorship-application
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  Seeing Ghosts 10.05.2026 56min

  Can you have a healthy relationship with someone who originally ghosted you? In this episode, I break down why ghosting creates such a lack of safety that it fucks the relationship up, and why people ghost in the first place. I answer two listener situations, one about a girl who got ghosted after three dates and can't stop wondering why he didn't reach out, and another about a guy who might still have feelings for his ex. Let me help you feel your feelings and learn to how to honor yourself as you've never done before. Ready to break the pattern, apply to work with me: https://confidencechris.com/mentorship-application
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  Avoiding Disappointment 03.05.2026 1h 12min

  You can change, but really how much? In this episode, I share my vulnerable feelings about my current dating life, where I am, how I got here, and why I would describe myself as "serial monogamous without dating." I'll describe how I am doing the work to combat my avoidance, become more grounded, and set myself up for finding genuine love. I also unpack how much your upbringing impacts who you are and how to change the patterns that keep you stuck. It's real, it's funny, and it's personal.Ready to break the pattern, apply to work with me: https://confidencechris.com/mentorship-application
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  How Men Think 25.04.2026 1h 5min

  When you treat a man well and you're consistent, they don't like you, but the ones you don't like are in love with you. What gives? This week, I break down dating's million-dollar question: Why are guys so interested in women who don't put in any effort? Is it attachment style or is it just how men are wired? I'll walk you through my full dissertation on the chase, value, and why we want what we can't have. I also answer a direct question about whether it's your avoidant attachment or if you're just not into them. You guys aren't going to want to miss this one. Ready to break the pattern, apply to work with me: https://confidencechris.com/mentorship-application
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  Greater Than Myself 19.04.2026 1h 2min

  And just like that we are back baby. I went on my retreat, where I learned so much. I'll walk you through the whole experience, from being so down bad the week before I left (numbing myself hard), all the way through the cheese and mayo sandwiches we ate during the week, as well as the biggest takeaways I had. My view of myself is different. I feel enlightened, my energy has shifted, and I know how to handle myself so much more. It was like summer camp for geeky men who want to deepen their understanding of self. The things I'll do for self-growth. Ready to break the pattern, apply to work with me: https://confidencechris.com/mentorship-application
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  Starting Over 29.03.2026 1h 14min

  Quick heads up, but I will be gone next week for a 7-day consciousness retreat. In this episode, I talk about going through scarcity in both relationships and finances, stressed nights where I can't sleep, and a book someone sent me about the power of the subconscious mind. I'll talk about self-discovery and how to use your most important currency (attention) to further understand yourself. I'll break down why it's so hard to change someone's perception of you, and if you should let your avoidant ex back in.Ready to break the pattern, apply to work with me: https://confidencechris.com/mentorship-application
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  Self Sacrifice 22.03.2026 1h 1min

  What's more important your goals or your peace? Do you feel you can only have one or the other? Today I attack the difference between wanting and needing something, and the desire for success/relationships while still being grounded in the present. I also bought a DJ set I couldn't afford even with no end goal in sight. I answer listener questions about men not being intentional, hitting up your ex, and why dating feels insane right now.Ready to break the pattern, apply to work with me: https://confidencechris.com/mentorship-application