Beyond Survival - The Therapy Podcast with Katie McKenna

Épisodes

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  Naming the Grief, You Can't Yet Name (S7 Ep.5) 11.09.2026 43min

  In this solo episode I tackle the complex topic of grief. If you grew up in a narcissistic or dysfunctional family system, the first roadblock to this grief is often minimising it. “It wasn't that bad” “Other people had it worse” “I've nothing to complain about" We say this so automatically, that we never even get to the feeling underneath it. In the episode, I use an example that might surprise you — Ireland's colonization, and what happened when we were denied our own lan...
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  If You Knew Me Would You Love Me? - with Irish psychologist A.J. Cosgrave 04.09.2026 1h 7min

  In this episode, I speak with Irish psychologist and author A.J. Cosgrave about her deeply personal book, If You Knew Me Would You Love Me?, and her experience of living with Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), formerly known as Multiple Personality Disorder. DID is a condition that is often misunderstood, sensationalised, or reduced to the way it is portrayed in films and television. A.J.’s story offers something very different: an honest, thoughtful and remarkably accessible insight into ...
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  The FOG: When Guilt Makes the Decisions for You (S7 Ep.3) 28.08.2026 44min

  Guilt is a natural emotional response. It can tell us when we've done something that doesn't align with our values and prompt us to repair, take responsibility and make things right. But when guilt becomes excessive, it can become a heavy burden — creating an overwhelming sense of expectation and responsibility that isn't actually yours to carry. In this final episode of the FOG — Fear, Obligation and Guilt — I look at what happens when guilt becomes the driving force behind your decisions. Y...
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  The FOG: Why Do I Feel Responsible for Everyone Else? (S7 Ep.2) 21.08.2026 50min

  Why saying no can feel selfish, even when you're exhausted from putting everyone else first. If you grew up with an emotionally immature, narcissistic, or emotionally abusive parent, you may have learned early that other people's needs come before your own. That learned sense of obligation can follow you into adulthood — shaping your relationships, parenting, boundaries and decisions. And obligation and guilt often go hand in hand: you feel you should do something, and when you consider sayin...
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  The FOG: When Fear Follows You into Adulthood (S7 Ep.2) 14.08.2026 37min

  For anyone who experienced a childhood in which emotional safely or physical safety weren't consistent, stable and predictable, Fear, Obligation and Guilt — will be the dominant emotions controlling their behaviour and decision making. In this episode, I focus on Fear and how The FOG keeps adult children stuck in survival mode, and why fight, flight, freeze and fawn becomes our automatic responses. I look at what happens when these survival responses are still running the show in your adult r...
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  Am I a Bad Daughter for Not Wanting to Care for My Mother? (S6 Ep.10) 07.08.2026 49min

  What happens when you realise your relationship with your mother has been shaped by emotional parentification, enmeshment, and emotional abuse? In this week’s letter, a 48-year-old woman shares how much of her identity and behaviour was shaped around managing her mother’s needs. After setting boundaries and working through childhood trauma in therapy, she begins to recognise the familiar cycle of guilt, gaslighting, victimhood, emotional manipulation, and rewriting history. Now she faces a qu...
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  A Wolf in Sheep's Clothing (S6 Ep.9) 31.07.2026 1h

  A Wolf in Sheep's Clothing – When Your Mother Won't Protect You "I always thought my mom was the softer, kind parent." "She would tell me to just ignore it, or apologise" After finally setting boundaries with her abusive stepfather, this weeks listener faces a painful new reality: her mother still refuses to acknowledge the harm she experienced and instead pressures her to forgive, reconnect, and keep the peace. As she struggles with guilt, grief, family exclusion, and the possibility o...
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  Am I Mad For Even Wanting to Try? (S6 Ep.8) 24.07.2026 1h 2min

  How do I build and maintain a boundaried relationship with narcissistic parents? Or am I mad for even wanting to try? This week, a listener asks: What happens when the parents who hurt you are finally trying — but still fall back into the same old patterns? After years of being parentified, emotionally manipulated, and punished whenever she tried to assert her independence – this weeks listener went no contact and it gave her the space she needed to heal. She's learned to regulate herself, br...
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  Am I The Only One? (S6 Ep.7) 17.07.2026 1h 25min

  "I feel stupid for tolerating it for so long" This week's listener grew up in a narcissistic evangelical family where religion was used to justify fear, control and abuse. As the eldest child, she became a high-achiever, believing that self-sacrifice and obedience were the keys to love and acceptance. Decades later, after her sister disclosed childhood sexual abuse by their father, everything changed. Therapy, reporting her own abuse and finally leaving her own coercive and abusiv...
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  Does Illness Change Everything? (S6 Ep.6) 10.07.2026 49min

  When you finally find the strength to go no contact with abusive parents, it can feel like the hardest decision you'll ever make. But what when of those parents becomes seriously ill? This week we hear from a listener who spent decades trying to make sense of life with a covertly narcissistic mother and an enabling father before choosing to protect herself and her own family through estrangement. Over time, things have quietened, but the attempts to provoke contact have never full...
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  Narcissism or Neurodivergent? (S6 Ep.5) 03.07.2026 52min

  What happens when the behaviours that hurt you look similar to traits associated with autism or ADHD? Where is the line between someone struggling because they're neurodivergent and someone causing harm through narcissistic patterns? In this episode, we explore the important differences between intention, impact, empathy, accountability, and "own agenda" behaviour. We also talk about why understanding someone's neurodivergence doesn't require you to minimise your own experience or aban...
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  Emotional Eating (S6 Ep4) 26.06.2026 1h 11min

  For many children raised by narcissistic parents, their body becomes another battleground where they learn that who they are is never quite acceptable. Too thin? There's a problem. Too heavy? There's a problem. Trying to improve yourself? That's a problem too. " I always felt that I disappointed my parents and they didn't like me." "I always went from chunky to super skinny and kept moving back and forth with my weight." "As an adult now, I'm an emotional eater. Food is my comfort." "I ...
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  When The Veil Finally Drops (S6 Ep.3) 19.06.2026 1h 8min

  In this episode, Katie & Ruth hear from a listener in the "raw stages of estrangement" – navigating the grief, fear, and disorientation that can come when the reality of a dysfunctional family system finally comes into focus. After years of minimising and carrying the impact of her father's emotional abuse, aggression, and physical violence – everything changed when that same behaviour was directed towards their young child. Faced with a choice between protecting family relationship...
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  Should I Go To Therapy with my Narcissistic Parent? (S6 Ep.2) 12.06.2026 1h 7min

  What happens when the parent who always refused accountability finally agrees to therapy? In this episode, Ruth and Katie explore the complex realities of dysfunctional family systems, the difference between reconciliation and repair, the risks and potential benefits of family therapy with a narcissistic or emotionally immature parent, and we delve deep into the pressure many adult children face to "keep the peace" from extended family – at the expense of their own wellbeing. If you've ever...
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  How Narcissistic Parents use Abandonment as a Method of Control (S6 - Ep.1) 05.06.2026 1h 2min

  "Do as I say and you can stay. Piss me off and you are out." That was the message our listener received throughout her childhood. In this powerful letter, she reflects on growing up with a mother who repeatedly used the threat of abandonment to maintain control — leaving her with severe anxiety, a deep fear of rejection, and the sense that love could be withdrawn at any moment. Now a parent herself, she finds herself facing a different challenge. As she sets boundaries to protect her children...
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  Behind Closed Doors: Recognising Coercive Control (S5 - Ep.10) 29.05.2026 52min

  In this week episode, I’m joined by Michelle from ADAPT Domestic Abuse Services for a vital conversation about domestic abuse and coercive control: How it can look in real lifeWhy it can be so hard to recognise when you’re inside itand what support can make possible.Michelle brings years of frontline experience supporting women experiencing domestic abuse through outreach, education, family law court support, and recovery groups across Limerick. Together, we talk about the patterns of c...
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  Can I Trust Myself (S5 Ep.9) 22.05.2026 33min

  If you’ve ever wondered, “Am I overreacting, or was that not okay?” — this episode is for you. For many survivors of narcissistic abuse, the question “Can I trust my own perception?” sits quietly at the centre of healing — shaping how you think, feel, and relate to yourself and others. In this episode, I shift the focus away from analysing the narcissist and bring it back to you — your internal world. Because while understanding the abuse is essential, staying stuck in that analysis can keep ...
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  Is it me – Am I The Problem? (S5 Ep.8) 15.05.2026 37min

  In this solo episode, I dive deep into the fear so many people carry after narcissistic abuse: Is it me – Am I The problem? When you’ve spent years being blamed, criticised, or made responsible for someone else’s behaviour, it’s so common to question yourself deeply. But there’s a huge difference between being human and being narcissistic. In this episode I'll explore how many survivors swing the pendulum completely the other way — becoming so afraid of being selfish, demanding, or “too...
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  ADHD: "I thought this was just who I am" - An Interview with Dr. Sarah Carthy (S5 Ep.7) 08.05.2026 1h 5min

  ADHD is something many people have heard of. You may know someone who has been diagnosed. You may already have a diagnosis, or maybe you’ve quietly wondered if it could explain parts of your life that have always felt harder than they should. For a lot of people, the story sounds like this: “This is just me. I’m scattered. I’m forgetful. I start things and don’t finish them. I’m bad at routines.” And over time, those patterns can become identity. In this episode, I’m joined by Dr. Sarah Carth...
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  The Faces of Narcissism - An Interview with Dr. Rachna Buxani (S5 Ep.6) 01.05.2026 43min

  Adult children of narcissists parents often struggle to name what happened to them. In this episode, I’m joined again by Dr. Rachna Buxani, and we’re exploring the different faces of narcissism — and why it can be so hard to recognise. While many people can spot the grandiose narcissist — the constant need to be the centre of attention, the arrogance, the lack of empathy — it’s the other, quieter forms of narcissism, that often go unnoticed and can be most confusing. In this episode we ...