Battle Royale: French Monarchs
Ben Clarke and Eliza Sommers
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Ben Clarke and Eliza Sommers judge all the Kings and Emperors of France from Clovis to Napoleon III. Each episode, Ben recounts the story of a monarch to Eliza, then together they score them in five categories. They aim to select the best monarch and send the worst to the guillotine. The podcast is inspired by the Rex Factor podcast.
Epizódok
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68 - Louis XIX, ft. Marie-Thérèse 05.07.2026 1ó 12pThe Duke and Duchess of Angoulême finally take centre stage... for possibly the shortest reign in world history. As the last surviving Bourbons of their generation, these mismatched cousins struggled to be the power couple the nation needed. ⚜️ Visit our website for episode images, score summaries and more! Contact us by Email, or follow us on Instagram, our Facebook Group or BlueSky. Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on Patreon! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to ad-free episodes and bonus content, including our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses. ⚜️ Music used in this episode included a piano rendition of Mozart's "Lacrimosa", perfromed by Soviet pianist Maria Yudina in 1954. Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Go check out more of their stuff here. ⚜️ Details of our 5 categories used to rate the French Monarchs can be found on our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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67 - Charles X, Part 2 26.06.2026 1ó 11pThis episode, Charles meets his ultimate fate in the wake of the much-anticipated July Revolution. ⚜️ Visit our website for episode images, score summaries and more! Contact us by Email, or follow us on Instagram, our Facebook Group or BlueSky. Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on Patreon! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to ad-free episodes and bonus content, including our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses. ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Go check out more of their stuff here. ⚜️ Details of our 5 categories used to rate the French Monarchs can be found on our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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67 - Charles X, Part 1 17.06.2026 1óCharles, comte d'Artois, has been a meddlesome troublemaker for the last 50 years of French history - surviving exiles, wars and revolutions like a cockroach. What fresh hell will ensue now that he finally has the chance to be king? ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Go check out more of their stuff here. This episode's outro music is a short excerpt from Luigi Cherubini's "Mass for the Coronation of Charles X: I. Kyrie", performed by Riccardo Muti and Philharmonia Chorus, from "Cherubini: Masses, Overtures & Motets" ℗ A Warner Classics release, ℗ 1985 Parlophone Records Limited. ⚜️ Visit our website for episode images, score summaries and more! Contact us by Email, or follow us on Instagram, our Facebook Group or BlueSky. Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on Patreon! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to ad-free episodes and bonus content, including our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses. ⚜️ Details of our 5 categories used to rate the French Monarchs can be found on our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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66 - Louis XVIII, Part 2 03.06.2026 1ó 18pFrom idle prince, to bankrupt exile, to his glorious restoration ... how will Louis XVIII measure up to his forebears in an age where the king must reconcile with the new France that the Revolution created? And how long will this ailing king even last? Check out David's show The Siècle to get more history from this period! ⚜️ Visit our website for episode images, score summaries and more! Contact us by Email, or follow us on Instagram, our Facebook Group or BlueSky. Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on Patreon! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives, bonus biographies and our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses. ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Go check out more of their stuff here. ⚜️ Details of our 5 categories used to rate the French Monarchs can be found on our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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66 - Louis XVIII, Part 1 26.05.2026 59pWhile Napoleon rose and fell, the old royal family wander Europe as exiles for over 20 years. This episode, we explore their side of the story. ⚜️ This week's outro music is "Richard Coeur de Lion, Act II: Si l'univers entier", an air from a favourite opera of Louis XVIII by André Grétry. From Grétry: Richard Coeur de Lion ℗ 2023 EG Classics, performed by the Orchestra dei Giovani del Conservatorio Claudio Monteverdi di Bolzano. Battle Royale's intro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Go check out more of their stuff here. ⚜️ Visit our website for episode images, score summaries and more! Contact us by Email, or follow us on Instagram, our Facebook Group or BlueSky. Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on Patreon! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives, bonus biographies and our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses. ⚜️ Details of our 5 categories used to rate the French Monarchs can be found on our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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65 - Napoleon II 03.05.2026 56pYou know Napoleon I. You've heard of Napoleon III... But what about the other one? ⚜️ Visit our website for episode images, score summaries and more! Contact us by Email, or follow us on Instagram, our Facebook Group or BlueSky. Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on Patreon! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives, bonus biographies and our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses. ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Go check out more of their stuff here. ⚜️ Details of our 5 categories used to rate the French Monarchs can be found on our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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64 - Napoleon I, Part 3 23.04.2026 1ó 37pWill Napoleon be enshrined with the greats at the Grand Tournament, or will we send this outlaw to the guillotine? ⚜️ Visit our website for episode images, score summaries and more! Contact us by Email, or follow us on Instagram, our Facebook Group or BlueSky. Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on Patreon! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives, bonus biographies and our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses. ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Go check out more of their stuff here. ⚜️ Details of our 5 categories used to rate the French Monarchs can be found on our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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64 - Napoleon I, Part 2 15.04.2026 1ó 20pStarting with his grand coronation in Paris and stunning victory at Austerlitz, we follow Napoleon from his zenith to his ultimate decline as all of Europe conspires against him. Next episode, we will at last rate Napoleon and get into further detail about one of history's most epic and groundbreaking lives. ⚜️ This episode's outro music was the finale of Tchaikovsky's "1812 Overture", performed by Claudio Abbado and the Berlin Philharmonic Orchestra, recorded 1999. Our intro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Go check out more of their stuff here. ⚜️ Visit our website for episode images, score summaries and more! Contact us by Email, or follow us on Instagram, our Facebook Group or BlueSky. Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on Patreon! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives, bonus biographies and our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses. ⚜️ Details of our 5 categories used to rate the French Monarchs can be found on our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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64 - Napoleon I, Part 1 05.04.2026 1ó 32pFrom obscure Corsican officer to Emperor of the French, this episode we chart the rise of Napoleon Bonaparte in the first of his 3 episodes. There is so much about this man to cover, and we have still only scratched the surface. Fitting that this episode is coming out on Easter, since Napoleon not only resurrected the French church, but his episode is also filled with Easter eggs for long-time listeners as we get the return of Italian Wars, another bout of Black Death and Pope Slap 2: Napoleon Edition! ⚜️ This episode's outro music is "le chant du départ", a popular military anthem from Napoleon's reign, performed by Roger Roger et son Orchestre, 1957. Battle Royale's intro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Go check out more of their stuff here. ⚜️ Visit our website for episode images, score summaries and more! Contact us by Email, or follow us on Instagram, our Facebook Group or BlueSky. Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on Patreon! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives, bonus biographies and our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses. ⚜️ Details of our 5 categories used to rate the French Monarchs can be found on our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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63.5 - Maximilien Robespierre, Part 2 23.03.2026 1ó 18pWe have reached the dramatic apex of Robespierre's career, as the French Revolution spirals into its most violent phase: the Reign of Terror. But how long will this reign last? And how will Robespierre's legacy compare to those of the monarchs he destroyed? ⚜️ Visit our website for episode images, score summaries and more! Contact us by Email, or follow us on Instagram, our Facebook Group or BlueSky. Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on Patreon! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives, bonus biographies and our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses. ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Go check out more of their stuff here. ⚜️ Details of our 5 categories used to rate the French Monarchs can be found on our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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63.5 - Maximilien Robespierre, Part 1 15.03.2026 1ó 14pThis episode we get deeper into the French Revolution, from the eyes of the radical politician Maximilien Robespierre. Society is about to change rapidly and shockingly in the leadup to the Reign of Terror, including a new calendar which will leave Eliza outraged. ⚜️ Visit our website for episode images, score summaries and more! Contact us by Email, or follow us on Instagram, our Facebook Group or BlueSky. Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on Patreon! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives, bonus biographies and our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses. ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Go check out more of their stuff here. Our outro is "Ça ira", a French Revolutionary song, performed by the late great Edith Piaf. ⚜️ Details of our 5 categories used to rate the French Monarchs can be found on our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Madame de Pompadour (Patreon Exclusive) 27.01.2026 1ó 17pGo to patreon.com/battleroyalepodcast to listen to Part 2, and our entire spinoff series on the French royal mistresses. Jeanne Antoinette "Reinette" Poisson was born into a disgraced middle-class Parisian family and thanks to her own beauty, charm and wit managed to climb the greasy pole to become Louis XV's most famous and powerful mistress. This episode we recount her life's story from birth to death. In Part 2 we get deeper into how she wielded power and what we ultimately scored her. ⚜️ Thank you to Rob from Totalus Rankium for creating the funky theme for our Mistress series! ⚜️ Visit our website for episode images, score summaries and more! Contact us by Email, or follow us on Instagram, our Facebook Group or BlueSky. Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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63 - Louis XVII (the Lost Dauphin) 08.01.2026 1ó 4pWe unravel the mystery that haunted Europe for over a century: What happened to the son of Louis XVI and Marie Antoinettte after they met their tragic end? It's a real True Crime mystery that will take us from the worst days of the Reign of Terror to the deepest depths of the American West. Only now, over 200 years later, do we finally have the answer. ⚜️ Music used in this episode included a piano rendition of Mozart's "Lacrimosa", perfromed by Soviet pianist Maria Yudina in 1954. Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Go check out more of their stuff here. ⚜️ Visit our website for episode images, score summaries and more! Contact us by Email, or follow us on Instagram, our Facebook Group or BlueSky. Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on Patreon! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives, bonus biographies and our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses. ⚜️ Details of our 5 categories used to rate the French Monarchs can be found on our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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62.5 - Marie Antoinette, Part 2 18.12.2025 1ó 19pIt's now time to rate one of history's most notorious queens! ⚜️ Visit our website for episode images, score summaries and more! Contact us by Email, or follow us on Instagram, our Facebook Group or BlueSky. Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on Patreon! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives, bonus biographies and our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses. ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Go check out more of their stuff here. ⚜️ Details of our 5 categories used to rate the French Monarchs can be found on our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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62.5 - Marie Antoinette, Part 1 11.12.2025 1ó 3pBy popular demand, we have an in-betweeny episode on the most famous woman in all of French history. How much was she really to blame for the disasters leading up to the Revolution? This episode we go through the main events of Marie Antoinette’s life. Next time we will rate her and leave behind the Ancien Regime for good! ⚜️ Music used in this episode: Intro music: "Dansez" by Fasion. Go check out more of their stuff here. Music under Maria Theresa’s letter: “Don Juan, Wq. 52: III. Andante” performed by English Baroque Soloists, conducted by John Eliot Gardiner, ℗ 1982 Warner Classics International. Composed by Christoph Willibald Gluck, a favourite composer of the Austrian court at the time. Outro music: “Violin Concerto in D Major, Op. posth., No. 2: Adagio” performed by Zhou Qian and the Toronto Chamber Orchestra, conducted by Kevin Mallon, ℗ 2004 Naxos. Composed by Joseph Boulogne, Chevalier de Saint-Georges, a mixed-race composer popular at Marie Antoinette’s court. ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Go check out more of their stuff here. ⚜️ Visit our website for episode images, score summaries and more! Contact us by Email, or follow us on Instagram, our Facebook Group or BlueSky. Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on Patreon! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives, bonus biographies and our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses. ⚜️ Details of our 5 categories used to rate the French Monarchs can be found on our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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62 - Louis XVI, Part 2 19.11.2025 1ó 17pThis episode, we will rate and review Louis XVI, the last king of France before the Revolution blows everything apart. Will he get through to the Tournement, or will he be guillotined a second time? ⚜️ Visit our website for episode images, score summaries and more! Contact us by Email, or follow us on Instagram, our Facebook Group or BlueSky. Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on Patreon! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives, bonus biographies and our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses. ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Go check out more of their stuff here. ⚜️ Details of our 5 categories used to rate the French Monarchs can be found on our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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62 - Louis XVI, Part 1 26.10.2025 1ó 29pThis episode, we finally get to the beginnings of the French Revolution and how it affected one Louis XVI, a King of France who was in way over his head, to put it mildly. Why did the revolution start in his reign? What weird hobbies did he indulge in the meantime? And next episode, will we be guillotining him AGAIN? ⚜️ RECOMMENDATIONS Go learn more about the French Revolution with these handy recommendations! - Revolutions podcast by Mike Duncan - Grey History podcast by Will Clark - A New World Begins: The History of the French Revolution by Jeremy D. Popkin (audiobook read by Pete Cross) ⚜️MUSIC This week's outro music is a 1791 revolutionary song "Poursuite et retour de la Famille Ci-devant Royale", celebrating the failure of the Flight to Varennes. This version was recorded by Michel Godard and released by Alpha Records in 2011 on the album "France 1789: Révolte en musique d'un sans-culotte & d'un royaliste". Also used in this episode was "La Marseillaise", performed by Rouget de Lisle and the London Symphony Orchestra, produced by Kurt List and digitally remastered in 2002 by EMI Records Ltd. Battle Royale's intro/outro music as usual is "Dansez" by Fasion. Go check out more of their stuff here. ⚜️ Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries and more! Contact us by Email, or follow us on Instagram, our Facebook Group or BlueSky. Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on Patreon! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives, bonus biographies and our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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61 - Louis XV, Part 2 29.08.2025 1ó 11pIt's time to get down to brass tax and rate Louis XV. Was he the do-nothing king later historians have tarred him as? And are good intentions and pretty art enough to save him from the guillotine? ⚜️ Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Contact us by Email, or follow us on Instagram, our Facebook Group or BlueSky. Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on Patreon! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives, bonus biographies and our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses. ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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61 - Louis XV, Part 1 23.08.2025 1ó 28pNot quite the Sun King, not quite the Revolution guy, Louis XV sits between two way more famous kings of France and is often a forgotten footnote of history, despite ruling for a very long time during France's great Enlightenment period. Will he stand toe-to-toe with other kings, or will he get lost in the mix? ⚜️ Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Contact us by Email, or follow us on Instagram, our Facebook Group or BlueSky. Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on Patreon! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives, bonus biographies and our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses. ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here. Our outro music was "Rameau's 'Les Sauvages'", a famous harpsichord piece from Louis XV's reign. It is played by Jean Rondeau and is available on his album "Vertigo" ((c) Warner Classics) or on YouTube. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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60.5 - Philippe II of Orléans (the Regent) 19.06.2025 1ó 35pLouis XIV is dead, and his heir is a 5-year-old child. With so many deaths occurring in the royal family, it falls to an unlikely royal nephew, Philippe, duke of Orléans, to govern France until Louis XV comes of age. Completely unlike the callous old Sun King, Philippe is a man of the people who spurned Versailles and lived as a boisterous libertine. What kind of regent will this man be? ⚜️ Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Contact us by Email, or follow us on Instagram, our Facebook Group or BlueSky. Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on Patreon! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives, bonus biographies and our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses. ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Other music used for this episode: "Sonata for cello and Continuo in B flat, RV.47 - 1. Largo" by Antonio Vivaldi, performed by Christophe Coin, Ageet Zweistra and Christopher Hogwood. ℗ 1987 Decca Music Group Limited ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. 1. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? 2. En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? 3. Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? 4. Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? 5. La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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