The Real Weird Sisters: A Harry Potter Podcast

Episodi

• 
  One Page at at Time: Book 3, Page 23 20.07.2026 55min

  Aunt Marge arrives at the Dursleys, who were damn good to take Harry in! Alice and Martha discuss Dursley family dynamics, Colonel Fubster, Ripper and more on this week's episode! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode! 
• 
  Take Five, Take 6.5: Half-Blood Prince, 20:00-25:00 13.07.2026 1h 27min

  Alice and Martha return with special guest Shut Up Tim, who definitely understands the concept of five minutes and who takes copious noootes to prepare for each episode! There's some great writing and acting in these five minutes, as well as pygmy puffs, nargles, and Peruvian Instant Darkness powder!Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!
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  One Page at at Time: Book 1, Page 55 06.07.2026 1h 3min

  Alice and Martha discuss the first of Hagrid's tales, as he tells Harry the story of Lily and James' murder with some interesting "insights" into what may have happened that night. Get ready for some amazing Hagrid impressions and even though they might have cookies, don't be tempted to go to the dark side! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode! 
• 
  One Page at at Time: Book 6, Page 269 29.06.2026 1h 4min

  Alice and Martha follow Harry and Dumbledore into a world entirely their own, as Dunderbore - sorry, Dumberton, meets young Tom Riddle for the first time. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode! 
• 
  Take Five, Take 6.4: Half-Blood Prince, 15:00-20:00 22.06.2026 1h 42min

  Alice and Martha are once again joined by special guest Shut Up Tim to discuss the next five minutes of Half-Blood Prince. Bellatrix and her real weird Cissy head to Spinner's End to make the Unbreakable Vow, Snape enjoys the summer by connecting with his Muggle roots, and Harry gets a taste of the Weasleys' Wonder Emporium. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!
• 
  Take Five, Take 6.3: Half-Blood Prince, 10:00-15:00 15.06.2026 1h 36min

  A little less Michael Gambon and a little more Hedwig makes for a slightly better five minutes for Alice, Martha, and special guest Shut Up Tim to discuss this week! Harry makes his way to the Burrow, via side-along (?) apparition. You'd think Mrs. Weasley would know if Harry Potter was in her house, and you'd also think maybe she wouldn't encourage the kids to light random newspapers on fire in the house.. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!
• 
  One Page at at Time: Book 3, Page 371 08.06.2026 54min

  Sirius dusts off his voice on this week's episode, as Alice and Martha enter the Shrieking Shack (mansion?) to hear all about how Sirius survived and escaped the very realistic Azkaban prison. Plus, Hermione manages not to be annoying, and Lupin enters teacher mode with some excellent classroom management skills.Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode! 
• 
  Take Five, Take 6.2: Half-Blood Prince, 05:00-10:00 01.06.2026 1h 27min

  Alice, Martha, and SPECIAL GUEST Shut Up Tim discuss the second five minutes of Half-Blood Prince, which sees Harry taking Dumbledore's arm off to Budleigh Babberton, Dumbledore channeling his inner Sanguini, and David Yates quickly turning into David Yikes. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!
• 
  One Page at at Time: Book 1, Page 8 25.05.2026 56min

  How very right Alice and Martha were about the first single-digit One Page at a Time! "Jim Dale" gets to do the full narration this week, as Mr. Dursley drifts into an uneasy sleep and the cat on the wall doesn't move an inch (wow!). Dumbledore stomps down the Privet Drive runway, and while we're at it, we may as well do a deep dive into the origins of the street's name! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode! 
• 
  One Page at at Time: Book 2, Page 135 18.05.2026 54min

  Nearly Headless Nick has his 500th Deathday Party upstaged by not only the Headless Hunt, but Myrtle and Peeves as well on this week's One Page at a Time! Find out whether or not Jacob's sibling is a ghost, whether or not Mary would be capable of drawing flying moldy peanuts, and which memes fit perfectly with this week's page! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode! 
• 
  One Page at at Time: Book 5, Page 602 11.05.2026 58min

  Firenze comes galloping in to save Divination! Alice and Martha discuss his CGI movie portrayal, the likelihood of teenagers swooning over a centaur, and an "I love magic!" moment on this week's One Page at a Time.Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode! 
• 
  One Page at at Time: Book 4, Page 399 04.05.2026 59min

  Did a veela send a blast out into the universe? Alice and Martha make some confident (not necessarily correct) assertions about the movie, forget to give a moral of the week, and test out lots of character impressions on this week's One Page at a Time! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode! 
• 
  One Page at at Time: Book 6, Page 559 27.04.2026 59min

  Alice and Martha break down the most fun and hilarious page yet! Dumbledore senses traces of magic in a very mysterious manner, Harry brags about his fitness and his youth, and Voldemort once again fails to realize that physical pain is not the worst thing in the world. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode! 
• 
  One Page at at Time: Book 1, Page 36 20.04.2026 1h

  Alice and Martha discuss the Dursleys' initial reactions to his first Hogwarts letter and dive into some interesting canonical lore that may or may not actually explain who is responsible for sending the letters. Hopefully you don't have to silently fight Dudley for a chance to listen at the keyhole to this episode! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode! 
• 
  Take Five, Take 6.1: Half-Blood Prince, 00:00-05:00 13.04.2026 1h 27min

  Alice, Martha, and special guest Shut Up Tim are BACK, baby! They've been reckless in their time off, and so has Harry. This episode is sure to be very pretty, so take our arm and we'll be off! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!
• 
  One Page at at Time: Book 3, Page 37 06.04.2026 49min

  Alice and Martha are back to the third book, and someone's prediction has come true! Stanley (??) makes his first OPAAT appearance as "Neville", who outta read the papers more, finds out that Sirius isn't just a Muggle convict. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode! 
• 
  One Page at at Time: Book 5, Page 291 30.03.2026 1h 3min

  Malfoy is back to his old tricks of taunting the Gryffindor Quidditch team on this page which sets Ron's tragic Keeper arc into motion. Angelina manages to keep her cool, Harry shows off his athletic prowess, and Pansy takes lessons from Bellatrix. Alice and Martha recap the 291st page of Order of the Phoenix in this week's One Page at a Time! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode! 
• 
  One Page at at Time: Book 6, Page 261 23.03.2026 56min

  In a rare twist, the pensieve is about to enter a world which is entirely our own, as Caractacus Burke recounts his memory of scamming poor Merope and (possibly) doing more than anyone else to set Voldemort for misery. Alice and Martha recap the 261st page of Half-Blood Prince in this week's One Page at a Time! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode! 
• 
  One Page at at Time: Book 5, Page 764 15.03.2026 54min

  It's thestral time, baby! Harry, Neville, and Luna show off their thestral expertise while Ron, Hermione, and Ginny stand open-mouthed and staring in confusion. How are they meant to get on these things?? Plus, a OPAAT first, as this page is half GP art!Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode! 
• 
  One Page at a Time: Book 5, Page 444 09.03.2026 56min

  It's time for Hagrid's first Care of Magical Creatures lesson for the year! Aided by his disheveled appearance, the ominous Forbidden Forest, and his shrieking cry, Hagrid's classroom management skills have never been better. Alice and Martha also announce this year's real weird March Madness bracket.Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!