The ADHD Channel for Women (formerly MissUnderstood)

Episodi

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  ADHD and avoidance 28.07.2026 13min

  Does replying to a text feel harder than it should? Or do you struggle when someone reminds you to do something you were already planning to do? In this episode, Dr. J breaks down the real science behind ADHD avoidance: how the nervous system mistakes tasks for threats, why perfectionism makes starting feel risky, and what actually happens in your brain before a shutdown. Plus, practical strategies to interrupt the avoidance loop without shame, force, or another failed to-do list.
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  What the rise of fidget toys means for neurodivergence | Hyperfocus 23.07.2026 17min

  Fidget toys, like NeeDohs, are sold out and  banned in classrooms. Journalist Anna North joins us to unpack how fidget toys went from gag gifts to a generational obsession, and what that shift reveals about neurodivergence, attention, and play. Plus, fidget toys are not just for kids. We look at how they are destigmatizing fidgeting for neurodivergent adults. And we dig into the science behind fidgeting, the history of the fidget spinner, and whether this wave of acceptance for sensory needs will survive.
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  Parentification: The hidden pattern in ADHD relationships | Sorry, I Missed This 16.07.2026 30min

  Ever feel like you’re the “parent” in your relationship — managing everything while your partner just... coasts? You’re not alone. And it’s not just you being controlling. Host Cate Osborn talks with ADHD coach Kristen Carder (host of I Have ADHD, author of the upcoming You’re Not in Trouble) about why ADHD relationships so easily slide into parent-child dynamics, and how to climb back out. They get into why resentment is the red flag to watch for, and Kristen’s favorite mantra for “de-centering” an overfunctioning partner (“there is no sun — we’re equals here”). Plus eldest daughter syndrome, and why chicken nuggets for dinner is sometimes the healthiest choice you’ll make all day. Honest, funny, and genuinely useful if you’ve ever wondered whether you’re parenting your partner instead of loving them.
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  ADHD and the boredom spiral 14.07.2026 16min

  Boredom isn’t just annoying for ADHD brains. It can feel unbearable, even painful. Dr. J breaks down the real science behind why: dopamine sensitivity, warped time perception, and an overactive default mode network. Learn why boredom fuels doomscrolling, impulsive spending, avoidance spirals, and relationship friction. Then get four practical strategies to work with your brain instead of against it, from micro-rewards to environmental design to building genuine boredom tolerance.
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  ADHD and impulse control: The science behind why willpower fails | Sorry, I Missed This 02.07.2026 24min

  Does ADHD really mean poor self-control? Or is that the myth that’s been making everything harder? Dr. Polaris Koi is a philosopher who studies ADHD and self-regulation (and is an ADHDer themselves). In this episode, Cate and Polaris get into why “just try harder” is not only unhelpful advice — it’s based on science that most researchers don’t even believe anymore. They talk about why impulsivity in ADHD adults rarely looks like the textbook version (hi, compulsive shopping and 3 a.m. tattoo urges). How shame and anxiety make executive function worse. And why learning to work with your brain’s patterns beats white-knuckling your way through every temptation. Plus why some ADHDers end up over-controlled — which comes with its own set of problems. If you’ve ever told yourself you’re just lazy, bad at relationships, or fundamentally broken because you can’t seem to get it together, this one’s for you.
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  ADHD and family vacations: Why you can’t relax 30.06.2026 12min

  Family vacations are supposed to be fun. So why do they feel like a project you can’t stop managing? If you have ADHD, travel is basically a multi-day test of your executive functions. Between planning paralysis, sensory overload, sleep disruptions, and lack of routine, vacations can leave you feeling more stressed than refreshed. And the strain can be even worse for women, who tend to carry a disproportionate amount of the mental load for a family. In preparation for your Independence Day travels, Dr. J breaks down exactly why trips are so draining for ADHD brains. And she shares five practical strategies to help you actually relax on your next vacation. Happy July 4th!
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  ADHD and perimenopause: Why your symptoms are suddenly worse 16.06.2026 15min

  If your ADHD symptoms have spiked out of nowhere, perimenopause might be the culprit. Estrogen plays a direct role in dopamine regulation. When it fluctuates, your focus, memory, and emotional regulation take the hit. This episode breaks down exactly what’s happening in your brain, why the strategies that used to work may be failing you now, and how to adjust your support system for this stage of life.
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  Why people with ADHD can’t sleep (and what actually helps) | Hyperfocus 11.06.2026 25min

  If you have ADHD, you’re probably exhausted — and there’s a real neurological reason for it. Sleep expert Marlee Boyle, co-founder of Sleep Works, joins us to explain why ADHD brains are wired against a good night’s rest. Plus how perimenopause can make it worse. She walks us through CBT-I techniques, the truth about melatonin, and some surprisingly low-tech tools that can fix your circadian rhythm. If you have trouble falling asleep or staying asleep, this one is for you.
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  Why neurodivergent women can’t stop reading smut and romantasy | Sorry, I Missed This 04.06.2026 18min

  Did you know that women with ADHD consume explicit fiction at dramatically higher rates than neurotypical women — and there’s a neurological reason? Dr. Erika Miley is a licensed mental health counselor, certified sex therapist, and author of the only dissertation published on ADHD and women’s sexuality. After surveying over 2,000 participants, one thing kept surfacing: smut. Romantasy, explicit romance, audio erotica — all of it. In this episode, she explains why the ADHD brain is uniquely drawn to literary erotica, how smut raises the arousal threshold enough to sustain focus, and why neurodivergent women are using it for everything from processing emotional vulnerability to getting through household chores.
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  ADHD, AuDHD, and social skills: Why you feel like too much and not enough 02.06.2026 12min

  Do you feel like too much in social situations — and somehow also not enough? Socializing with ADHD or AuDHD can feel like a minefield. There are the impulsive comments. The missed cues and oversharing. And then the post-hang crash. In this episode, Dr. J breaks down what’s happening in the ADHD brain that makes socializing harder. And she offers practical strategies for creating stronger connections without the overwhelm, anxiety, or burnout. Whether you mask, steamroll, or avoid entirely, this episode helps you socialize on your own terms.
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  I’m an ADHD expert. My kid still can’t get help. 28.05.2026 24min

  Today’s episode is a crossover with Understood’s new podcast, Everyone Gets a Juice Box. Host Jessica Shaw interviewed Rae about something she rarely discusses on Hyperfocus: Being a mom to a fabulous kid with ADHD. Even with Rae’s 20 years of experience studying and writing about ADHD, getting help for her child in school has been really challenging. Here’s how she’s supporting her daughter while they wait for school services.
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  ADHD, AuDHD, and self-diagnosis: Is it valid? | Sorry, I Missed This 21.05.2026 21min

  Is ADHD self-diagnosis valid? According to clinical psychologist Dr. Elizabeth Kilmer, that’s the wrong question entirely. When access to diagnosis is limited by cost, insurance, stigma, and identity — and when the people who self-diagnose show higher rates of negative self-image and internalized stigma — the real conversation isn’t about validity. It’s about how we make sure people have access to good information. Cate and Dr. Kilmer dig into what really happens when people research their own neurodivergence. They discuss research analyzing 452,000 Reddit posts that found self-diagnosed individuals seek more social validation. But they benefit less from it. They cover what actually happens in a clinical ADHD assessment and how comorbidities like anxiety, depression, and OCD complicate the picture. And they discuss why the question “Is self-diagnosis valid?” misses the point when getting a formal diagnosis is a privilege that many can’t access.
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  ADHD and self-harm: Why people with ADHD are at greater risk 19.05.2026 12min

  Why is ADHD so closely linked to self-harm? In this episode, Dr. J breaks down how the core features of ADHD — impulsivity, emotional dysregulation, sleep disruption, and difficulty with the “pause button” — can create a perfect storm for dangerous coping. She explains why big emotions hit harder and faster with ADHD, and how that can lead to self-harming behaviors. Dr. J also shares evidence-based strategies for building safer ways to cope, including DBT (dialectical behavior therapy), self-compassion exercises, and safety planning. And she talks about maintaining the routines that keep ADHD symptoms manageable. If you or someone you know is struggling, the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline is available 24/7.
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  The gene that could change how we treat ADHD | Hyperfocus 14.05.2026 18min

  What if your brain had a volume knob? Researcher Dr. Zachary Gershon joins Rae to explain Homer1a, a gene variant that may hold the key to how we focus. When levels are lower during development, the brain gets better at filtering out distractions, or what scientists call “neural noise.” This discovery could one day lead to non-stimulant treatment options for ADHD. And it started with one scientist’s very personal question.
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  Why ADHD makes decluttering so hard (and how to fix it) | Sorry, I Missed This 07.05.2026 30min

  If your home has ever felt like it’s working against you, this one’s for you. Certified professional organizer Alison Lush joins the show to unpack the ADHD relationship to stuff. Learn what chronic disorganization actually means, why the Marie Kondo method can backfire, and how to build systems that work with your brain. We also get into the emotional weight of clutter, organizing as a couples issue, and why community might be the most underrated tool of all.
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  ADHD and sleep: 5 strategies to finally beat insomnia 05.05.2026 13min

  ADHD doesn’t clock out at bedtime. From delayed sleep phases and racing thoughts to stimulant timing and restless nights, sleep disruption is one of the most common (and most overlooked) challenges of living with ADHD. Plus, poor sleep makes every ADHD symptom worse! In this episode, Dr. J breaks down why ADHD and sleep don’t always get along. And she shares five science-backed strategies to help you finally get some rest.
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  Can I get rid of my adult sensory issues? | Hyperfocus 30.04.2026 27min

  Rae puts on her most uncomfortable pants (on purpose!) to ask a fashion designer and former special ed teacher whether adults can actually get over sensory issues. Julia DeNey, founder of sensory clothing brand Sense-ational You, breaks down why tactile sensitivity doesn’t disappear at 18, what adaptive fashion can (and can’t) fix, and why telling yourself “today’s the day I get over it” is the worst possible strategy.
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  How online community is saving (and breaking) my ADHD brain | Sorry, I Missed This 23.04.2026 24min

  Laura Mears-Reynolds, founder of ADHDAF and an award-winning community organizer, joins Cate to talk about online communication, building connection, and staying in touch when you have ADHD. They dig into rejection sensitive dysphoria and miscommunication, object permanence with people, time blindness in relationships — and why online community can be genuinely life-saving. Plus: the great voice memo debate, and why your calendar reminder system for friends is not sociopathic.
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  ADHD and weed: Why it feels like a fix (but isn’t) 20.04.2026 14min

  Marijuana can feel like a miracle fix for ADHD, quieting the noise and taking the edge off. But this short-term relief comes with trade-offs. In this episode, Dr. J breaks down why ADHD brains are drawn to weed, what the research actually says about the long-term consequences, and healthier alternatives. If you’ve ever wondered whether you’re self-medicating, this one’s worth your attention.
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  PMDD: Why women with ADHD are 4x more likely to struggle | Hyperfocus 16.04.2026 20min

  Hyperfocus listener Jenna Plonsky opens a raw conversation about ADHD, late diagnosis, and the mental health struggles many women face in silence. From postpartum depression to PMDD, this episode explores how hormonal shifts intersect with neurodivergence — and why so many go undiagnosed for decades. It’s an honest look at shame, self-perception, and the turning point that comes with finally understanding your brain.