Love, Happiness and Success with Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Episodi

• Family Cut Offs: What to Know, How to Deal, and Find a Way Forward | E530 15.06.2026 1h 8min

  By the time an adult child finally says “I’m done,” they have usually been deciding it for about three years. The parent almost never sees it coming. The child was never once surprised. On the other side, the pain and anger that comes when someone you love with all your heart and soul refuses to talk to you? It's as crushing as it is confusing. This episode is for anyone who has ever sat in the car outside a parent’s house, bracing themselves before they walk in. And it is just as much for the parent staring at a phone that has gone quiet, replaying what they could have done differently. If your relationship with your parent, or with your grown kid, has started to feel like a careful performance instead of a real connection, you are not imagining it, and you are not stuck with it. If it feels like bridges have been burned, there is a way back. In this episode you'll learn about the small, respectful shifts that re-open lines of communication, rebuild trust, and develop an enduring v.2 for your relationship. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Blindsided: Why Adult Children Pull Away 11:11 No One's to Blame, Everyone's Responsible 16:47 Why Adult Children Stop Being Honest With You 21:04 "Am I in Trouble?": When the Past Hijacks the Present 22:47 Raising From the Inside Out: The Foundation You Set Now 33:50 The Letter, the Agenda, and the Boundary 42:30 Grieving the Expectations You Handed Them 48:42 The PARENT Method, and the One Thing Bigger Than the Issues Resources: Full episode show notes and everything mentioned Book a free consultation with a therapist who specializes in this If this conversation stirred something up, that is worth paying attention to. You do not need to be in crisis to talk to someone. Come find us at GrowingSelf.com and schedule a free consultation. We will help you figure out what is actually going on between you and your parent, or you and your grown child, and what to try next. No pressure, no commitment, just a real conversation. XO, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast: Upwork — When you need specialized talent fast, Upwork gives you access to vetted professionals across 125+ categories, from marketing to web development to operations support. No long recruiting cycles. No guesswork. Just the right person, when you need them. Check it out at upwork.com — posting a job is free. Shopify — The all-in-one platform for building and growing your online business. Visit shopify.com/lhs to explore their tools and access exclusive listener discounts. OSEA — Amazing, clean, science-backed skincare made with the power of the sea. Use code LHS at oseamalibu.com for 10% off your first order. LNutra Prolon — A science-backed, plant-based nutrition program that supports fat loss, metabolism, cellular rejuvenation, and overall longevity. Head to ProlonLife.com/LHS for 15% off your first order + a bonus gift.
• Are You Being Impacted By Someone Else's Trauma? (And If So, How to Break Free), with Dr. Thomas Hübl | E529 11.06.2026 1h 10min

  Do you ever have reactions that don't quite make sense? Or feel like you're carrying feelings that don't fit the situation? Maybe you're sad, reactive, anxious or just... off... and can't put your finger on why. Turns out, generational trauma may be to blame. Things your parents, grandparents, or community went through might be impacting the way you think, feel and behave in the present. In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Thomas Hübl, the teacher and trauma-integration facilitator who co-wrote the new book Releasing Our Burdens with Dr. Richard Schwartz, the creator of Internal Family Systems. He's here to explain what's going on , and how to put down someone else's burden. This episode is for anyone who has ever looked at their own anxiety, or their drivenness, or that low hum of feeling empty for no reason they can name, and thought, where is this even coming from? If you have done the personal work and still feel like there is a layer underneath you cannot reach, this conversation opens a door. Some of what you carry is not a personal failing. It is inherited. And it can be set down. Episode Breakdown 00:00 Trauma That Didn't Start With You 10:42 Why You're Driven by People You Never Met 13:24 It's Bigger Than Any of Us (Which is Why We Must Do 18:52 A Case Study: Can You Relate? 31:41 How to Start Reclaiming Your Timeline 35:21 Stop Paying Someone Else's Bill 39:30 Generational Trauma In Relationships 53:31 How to Clean Up That Mess and Move Forward into Freedom Resources Full episode page with a rundown, transcript, and resources Free “What’s Holding You Back?” Quiz Personal growth coaching and therapy at Growing Self xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast: Upwork — When you need specialized talent fast, Upwork gives you access to vetted professionals across 125+ categories, from marketing to web development to operations support. No long recruiting cycles. No guesswork. Just the right person, when you need them. Check it out at upwork.com — posting a job is free. Shopify — The all-in-one platform for building and growing your online business. Visit shopify.com/lhs to explore their tools and access exclusive listener discounts. OSEA — Amazing, clean, science-backed skincare made with the power of the sea. Use code LHS at oseamalibu.com for 10% off your first order. LNutra Prolon — A science-backed, plant-based nutrition program that supports fat loss, metabolism, cellular rejuvenation, and overall longevity. Head to ProlonLife.com/LHS for 15% off your first order + a bonus gift.
• But You Look Fine: The Hidden Toll of Chronic Illness, with Amy Kurtz | E528 08.06.2026 58min

  This episode is for anyone who has technically gotten through something hard and quietly cannot understand why they still does not feel like themselves. I sat down with Amy Kurtz, author of "But You Look Fine" to unpack what's going on. The reality? Even if you're on the mend physically after a medical trauma, chronic illness, or profoundly life altering experience there is mental and emotional repair work to do. This can often only even start to happen once your physical symptoms have resolved, and you're on the other side. If you have been told you should be fine by now, and you are not, this conversation is going to give you language for what is actually happening in your body and a way forward that respects the timeline. What You'll Learn: 00:02:04 The Gap Between Sick and Well Nobody Warned You About 00:05:10 36 Doctors and No Diagnosis: Amy's Story 00:13:25 What Is Medical Trauma Brain? 00:14:54 How to Heal Emotionally, After You're Healed Physically 00:21:05 How to Advocate for Yourself in a System That Won't 00:45:03 How to Regulate Your Nervous System After Trauma or Illness 00:51:01 The Wider Lens: When Someone You Love is Not Okay 00:56:00 The One Tool That Changes Everything Resources: Read the full article on this conversation, including everything we mentioned and where to find Amy's work Ready to talk to someone about what you are carrying? Book a free consultation If this speaks to you, I'm so glad you've found it today. If this conversation makes you think of someone in your life who is not okay, or recovering in the aftermath of chronic illness, thanks for passing it on. XO, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast: Upwork — When you need specialized talent fast, Upwork gives you access to vetted professionals across 125+ categories, from marketing to web development to operations support. No long recruiting cycles. No guesswork. Just the right person, when you need them. Check it out at upwork.com — posting a job is free. Shopify — The all-in-one platform for building and growing your online business. Visit shopify.com/lhs to explore their tools and access exclusive listener discounts. OSEA — Amazing, clean, science-backed skincare made with the power of the sea. Use code LHS at oseamalibu.com for 10% off your first order. LNutra Prolon — A science-backed, plant-based nutrition program that supports fat loss, metabolism, cellular rejuvenation, and overall longevity. Head to ProlonLife.com/LHS for 15% off your first order + a bonus gift.
• Career Pathing: How to Find Your Passion | Success | LHS Classic 04.06.2026 45min

  If you've been grappling with that "what am I doing with my life?!?" angst, and craving clarity about your next best step forward today's episode is for you. I'm sitting down with an expert career coach to pose all the question that are probably keeping you up at night, to bring you answers and direction. Here's what you'll learn about today: 00:00 Getting Unstuck When You Have Too Many Options 05:12 Career Crossroads: How to Navigate Paralysis and Indecision 11:08 Life Design vs. Job Search: Shifting How We Think About Career 18:39 Finding Your Passion by Reflecting on the Past 27:26 The “Quarter-Life” Crossroads: Making Sense of How You Got Here 30:12 Burnout or Misalignment? How to Tell the Difference 34:45 The 10-Year Vision Exercise That Brings Long-Term Clarity 36:44 Why Big Career Decisions Shouldn’t Happen During Burnout Resources Companion article on the blog (full resource list, references, and related episodes) Free What’s Holding You Back quiz — the 20-question self-assessment that helps you see what is actually keeping you stuck Career Coaching Services at Growing Self — work one-on-one with a career coach on my team Schedule a free consultation⁠ If something in this conversation landed somewhere specific, that is the signal to talk to someone. The career coaches on my team at Growing Self spend their days with people exactly where you are, and the first conversation is free. Not a sales pitch, just a real conversation about what is actually going on and whether the work we do here is the right fit for you. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast: Upwork — When you need specialized talent fast, Upwork gives you access to vetted professionals across 125+ categories. Check it out at upwork.com — posting a job is free. Shopify — The all-in-one platform for building and growing your online business. Visit shopify.com/lhs to explore their tools and access exclusive listener discounts. OSEA — Amazing, clean, science-backed skincare made with the power of the sea. Use code LHS at oseamalibu.com for 10% off your first order. LNutra Prolon — A science-backed, plant-based nutrition program that supports fat loss, metabolism, cellular rejuvenation, and overall longevity. Head to ProlonLife.com/LHS for 15% off your first order + a bonus gift.
• How to Be More Optimistic... While Avoiding Toxic Positivity | E527 01.06.2026 1h 9min

  You want to be a more positive person. We all do. But by the end of the gratitude journal, the mindfulness, the affirmation in the mirror, you felt worse, not better. You might feel like you're "failing at positivity..." but authentic hope, optimism and resilience might be different than you've been taught to believe. That's the disconnect. In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Deepika Chopra, the clinical health psychologist known as The Optimism Doctor and the author of the new book The Power of Real Optimism. Deepika has spent over a decade studying why optimism is a skill, not a personality trait, and her work has appeared everywhere from the TODAY Show to Forbes to Vogue. She joined me to explain why forced positivity actually makes anxiety worse, and what real, durable optimism looks like when you stop performing it and start practicing it. In this conversation, you'll learn: Why an optimist isn't someone who feels good all the time, and what they're actually doing differently in their head The reasons so much standard advice for how to improve your outlook backfires, and what to try instead. The one mental shift that moves you from rumination to agency when nothing about your circumstances has changed. This episode is for anyone who has tried to think their way into feeling better and quietly felt like a fraud doing it. If you've ever closed a self-help book and felt worse, if you've ever heard someone say 'good vibes only' and wanted to throw something, if you're currently navigating something genuinely hard and tired of being told to look on the bright side, this conversation will give you something more honest, and more useful. If something in this conversation landed for you, share it with one person. You probably already have someone in mind, the friend who's been white-knuckling their way through something hard. Send it to them. And follow the show wherever you listen so you don't miss what's coming next. XO, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast Upwork — When you need specialized talent fast, Upwork gives you access to vetted professionals across 125+ categories, from marketing to web development to operations support. No long recruiting cycles. No guesswork. Just the right person, when you need them. Check it out at upwork.com — posting a job is free. Shopify — The all-in-one platform for building and growing your online business. Visit shopify.com/lhs to explore their tools and access exclusive listener discounts. OSEA — Amazing, clean, science-backed skincare made with the power of the sea. Use code LHS at oseamalibu.com for 10% off your first order. LNutra Prolon — A science-backed, plant-based nutrition program that supports fat loss, metabolism, cellular rejuvenation, and overall longevity. Head to ProlonLife.com/LHS for 15% off your first order + a bonus gift.
• How to Get Over a Broken Heart: What Really Works | Jesse Stanley | Love | E526 28.05.2026 54min

  A year. Two years. Five years. Ten years. Still stuck on the same person. If that is you, this episode is not going to tell you to give it more time. In this episode, I sit down with my colleague Jesse S., a licensed marriage and family therapist and board-certified coach who co-facilitates our Heartbreak Recovery Intensive with me here at Growing Self. Between us, we have watched a lot of people walk in still tangled up in a relationship that ended months or years ago, and walk out free of it. Jesse joined me to talk about what we have seen actually work, including the one reframe that unlocks years of stuckness for almost every person we meet. In this episode: The factory accident sign that explains why you have been resetting your healing clock for years without realizing it Why a breakup mimics the symptoms of PTSD, and what is actually happening in your nervous system The exact reason your thinking brain and your attachment brain disagree about whether to text your ex back Why heartbreak recovery groups move people faster than years of one-on-one therapy The closure myth that keeps people waiting for an apology from someone unable to give it The airplane metaphor that finally lets you accept the good parts of a relationship that had to end Why most therapists are not trained in heartbreak recovery, and what to look for instead The reclaim-the-song, reclaim-the-room experiment that does more than years of talking about feelings Why this matters This episode is for anyone who has been stuck on a past relationship long enough to be embarrassed about it. The person you cannot stop checking in on. The relationship that ended a long time ago but somehow still has a vote in your life. The voice in your head that keeps telling you that you should be over this by now. We see you, and we have seen this. There is a way through, even if it has been years. Resources Full episode article and show notes How Over Your Ex Are You? Quiz Heartbreak Recovery program at Growing Self Online breakup support group I know that going through heartbreak can make you feel like you're so alone. I hope that by listening to this conversation today you felt like other people get what you're going through, and that you have more clarity on how to find your way forward. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby P.S. If you want to know exactly where you are in the process before you talk to anyone, the How Over Your Ex Are You? quiz at growingself.com/breakup-quiz-how-over-your-ex-are-you takes about two minutes and tells you the truth. Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast Upwork — When you need specialized talent fast, Upwork gives you access to vetted professionals across 125+ categories, from marketing to web development to operations support. No long recruiting cycles. No guesswork. Just the right person, when you need them. Check it out at upwork.com — posting a job is free. Shopify — The all-in-one platform for building and growing your online business. Visit shopify.com/lhs to explore their tools and access exclusive listener discounts. OSEA — Amazing, clean, science-backed skincare made with the power of the sea. Use code LHS at oseamalibu.com for 10% off your first order. Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at quince.com/lhs. LNutra Prolon — A science-backed, plant-based nutrition program that supports fat loss, metabolism, cellular rejuvenation, and overall longevity. Head to ProlonLife.com/LHS for 15% off your first order + a bonus gift.
• Asking Claude "How Can I Stop Overthinking?" This is better: Sam Yo reveals all... | E525 25.05.2026 56min

  Have you ever felt like every tab in your brain is open, and not one of them will close? That was Sam Yo at 23, the year before he walked away from a successful London stage career to spend years in a Thai Buddhist monastery. In this episode, I sit down with him to get his advice on how to transcend frazzled-overwhelm and reconnect with your inner calm. By the end of this episode you'll get not just a new perspective and insight into what's *really* going on that's getting you so wound up. But more importantly you'll get concrete skills that you can start using today. (Sam walks us all through a powerful one and I can personally share that I felt 100% calmer by the time we were done!) If something in this episode landed for you, pass it on! Send it to the person you were thinking about while you listened, and share the love. XO, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast Upwork — When you need specialized talent fast, Upwork gives you access to vetted professionals across 125+ categories, from marketing to web development to operations support. No long recruiting cycles. No guesswork. Just the right person, when you need them. Check it out at upwork.com — posting a job is free. Shopify — The all-in-one platform for building and growing your online business. Visit shopify.com/lhs to explore their tools and access exclusive listener discounts. OSEA — Amazing, clean, science-backed skincare made with the power of the sea. Use code LHS at oseamalibu.com for 10% off your first order. Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at quince.com/lhs. LNutra Prolon — A science-backed, plant-based nutrition program that supports fat loss, metabolism, cellular rejuvenation, and overall longevity. Head to ProlonLife.com/LHS for 15% off your first order + a bonus gift.
• Why You Ruminate (and How To Stop) | E524 21.05.2026 1h 6min

  This week we're doing a deep dive into the science of the brain, to help you get a handle on yours. Today's episode is all about "rumination." Grinding on the same thought, over and over again. We all do it: Replay conversations that ended three days ago, laying awake at night trying to solve unsolvable problems in your head... you know. In this episode, I sit down with Donna Jackson Nakazawa, the science journalist who has spent decades researching exactly this and is here with answers that are going to change things for you. Get ready to take notes:Donna and I get into the survival biology behind your overthinking, the unexpected link between early relationships and adult thought patterns, and her real-time interruption tool. She walks me through it live, with my own ruminative mind as the example. It got pretty real. Listen, work through the steps with me in real time, and then let me know what it was like for you! Here is what I want you to take away from this conversation: your brain getting stuck in a loop is not a character flaw. It is a real neural pattern with real roots, and it is genuinely changeable. I hope this episode is the start of that change for you. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby ⁠Growing Self ⁠ Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast: Upwork — Access to vetted professionals across 125+ categories. No long recruiting cycles. No guesswork. Just the right person, when you need them. Check it out at upwork.com — posting a job is free. Shopify — The all-in-one platform for building and growing your online business. Visit shopify.com/lhs to explore their tools and access exclusive listener discounts. OSEA — Amazing, clean, science-backed skincare made with the power of the sea. Use code LHS at oseamalibu.com for 10% off your first order. Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/lhs⁠. LNutra Prolon — A science-backed, plant-based nutrition program that supports fat loss, metabolism, cellular rejuvenation, and overall longevity. Head to ⁠ProlonLife.com/LHS⁠ for 15% off your first order + a bonus gift.
• How to Stop The Screen Time Battles: A Tech Insider’s Guide for Exhausted Parents | E530 18.05.2026 1h 4min

  Are you having daily power struggles with your kids over their screen time consumption? Are you having a daily war in yourself, between the part of you that worries that your kid is online too much... and the other that is glad they're occupied? There's so much conflict for parents of young kids around this exact issue, and so much drama, I decided to call in the big guns: Rob LoCassio, who's been in this space since it started to get his insights on the reality, the research, and some new ideas to manage this with love and skill. What You'll Learn In This Episode The exact moment a tech founder realized he was losing his own kids to the screens he built, and why it changed everything for him Why senior YouTube executives quietly don’t let their own kids use YouTube, and what they know that you don’t The reframe that turns the daily iPad battle from a parenting failure into a systems problem Why your kid asks for the iPad when she’s upset, and what is actually happening in her nervous system in that moment The 25-million-person creator economy your kid is being fed by, and why "just set limits" stopped working in 2020 What healthier tech for kids could actually look like, and what to ask before you hand any device to a four-year-old If you know another parent who has been crying in the bathroom over the iPad fight (and you probably have someone in mind right now), please share this episode with them. They will feel less alone, and that matters more than you know. XO, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self
• How to Stop Being Codependent | LHS Classic 14.05.2026 1h 14min

  Are you in a codependent relationship? If so you're probably feeling anxious, frustrated, and exhausted from trying to create positive change in your relationship single-handedly. (Or feeling like you're never quite good enough to meet the standards of your partner). Not fun for anyone! On today's episode, we're taking a deep dive into codependent relationships. Listen, and learn: - What codependent relationships are - Why they happen - The stages of codependency recovery - How you can get un-fused from each other so that you can both grow and flourish. ⁠How to stop being codependent:⁠ All for you! xoxo,  ⁠ Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby⁠ ⁠GrowingSelf.com Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast Upwork — When you need specialized talent fast, Upwork gives you access to vetted professionals across 125+ categories, from marketing to web development to operations support. No long recruiting cycles. No guesswork. Just the right person, when you need them. Check it out at upwork.com — posting a job is free. Shopify — The all-in-one platform for building and growing your online business. Visit shopify.com/lhs to explore their tools and access exclusive listener discounts. OSEA — Amazing, clean, science-backed skincare made with the power of the sea. Use code LHS at oseamalibu.com for 10% off your first order. Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at quince.com/lhs. LNutra Prolon — A science-backed, plant-based nutrition program that supports fat loss, metabolism, cellular rejuvenation, and overall longevity. Head to ProlonLife.com/LHS for 15% off your first order + a bonus gift.
• How to Connect With Your Partner on a Deeper Level | Love | E522 11.05.2026 52min

  “We talk all the time, but I still feel alone in my marriage.” If that sentence has ever crossed your mind on a Tuesday night, mid-load of dishes, with your partner three feet away, you are not imagining it. And you are not the only one. In this episode, I sit down with Debra Fileta, the licensed therapist who has spent more than twenty years in clinical practice helping couples figure out exactly this. In This Episode The three levels of communication, and why almost every couple stalls at level two without realizing it Why “we talk all the time” is not the same thing as feeling close, even after twenty years of marriage The thirty-minute weekly ritual Debra and her husband John have used for fifteen years to keep their marriage from drifting Why being “nice” is not the same as having strong people skills, and the people-pleasing trap that masquerades as kindness How to tell the difference between a one-time conflict and a relationship pattern that is pointing at something deeper The volume-dial reframe for couples where one partner feels everything at a 7 and the other at a 3 The empathy practice that takes thirty seconds and changes the way you see almost everyone in your life Why “I keep attracting the wrong people” is the wrong question, and the better one Debra asks instead Why This Matters This episode is for anyone who has caught themselves thinking, something has shifted between us and I cannot put my finger on what. For the partner who feels like they are always the one initiating real conversation. For the couple who used to talk for hours and now mostly talks about logistics. For anyone who has wondered if needing more depth in their marriage is asking too much. It is not. And the way back is more learnable than you might think. xo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast Upwork — When you need specialized talent fast, Upwork gives you access to vetted professionals across 125+ categories, from marketing to web development to operations support. No long recruiting cycles. No guesswork. Just the right person, when you need them. Check it out at upwork.com — posting a job is free. Shopify — The all-in-one platform for building and growing your online business. Visit shopify.com/lhs to explore their tools and access exclusive listener discounts. OSEA — Amazing, clean, science-backed skincare made with the power of the sea. Use code LHS at oseamalibu.com for 10% off your first order. Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at quince.com/lhs. LNutra Prolon — A science-backed, plant-based nutrition program that supports fat loss, metabolism, cellular rejuvenation, and overall longevity. Head to ProlonLife.com/LHS for 15% off your first order + a bonus gift.
• How to Get What You Want | Happiness | E521 07.05.2026 1h 6min

  You feel disrespected. Overlooked. Like no matter what you do, you can't get what you want. So you've tried getting tougher. You've tried getting nicer. And neither one works — for a reason. that changes today. By the end of this episode, you're going to know how to get what you want, even when the odds are against you. Today I'm talking with negotiation expert Attia Qureshi — a literal hostage negotiator who got dropped into cartel-controlled villages in Colombia and had to win over people who'd already decided they didn't trust her. If she can turn a room full of cartel-controlled farmers into her allies in a single day, you can handle the boss who overlooks you, the partner who shuts down, the in-law who pushes every button you've got. This is the conversation that changes how you walk into a room. She's going to teach you how. Today: You'll learn how to stop freezing when you feel powerless, get dead clear on what you actually want, and shift even your most hostile relationships with one small move almost nobody uses on purpose. In This Conversation: 02:50 — The type of betrayal that hightlights how power really works 14:00 — How to get what you want when the deck is stacked against you 16:00 — Walking into a hostile room — how to take your power back 28:40 — Why you freeze when you're disrespected, and how to immediately calm down 32:00 — The "I'm about to quit" mistake smart, talented people keep making (and how to stop!) 35:30 — How to stop seeing someone as the villain and finally get through 37:30 — The lemonade move: one gesture that resets your worst relationship 55:30 — Influence vs. manipulation: how to know you're doing it right Here's the truth: you don't have to choose between being walked over and being the bad guy. There's a third path, and it's a skill — which means you can learn it. And keep going with Attia's book Never Settle: Persuasion and Negotiation Skills to Get What You Want. If you're ready to feel respected and get what you want in your relationships and your career, let's do it. Start at growingself.com, by booking a free consultation. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast Upwork — When you need specialized talent fast, Upwork gives you access to vetted professionals across 125+ categories, from marketing to web development to operations support. No long recruiting cycles. No guesswork. Just the right person, when you need them. Check it out at upwork.com — posting a job is free. Shopify — The all-in-one platform for building and growing your online business. Visit shopify.com/lhs to explore their tools and access exclusive listener discounts. OSEA — Amazing, clean, science-backed skincare made with the power of the sea. Use code LHS at oseamalibu.com for 10% off your first order. Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at quince.com/lhs. LNutra Prolon — A science-backed, plant-based nutrition program that supports fat loss, metabolism, cellular rejuvenation, and overall longevity. Head to ProlonLife.com/LHS for 15% off your first order + a bonus gift.
• How to Have Difficult Conversations: Finding Confidence in Conflict | Kwame Christian | Happiness | E520 04.05.2026 1h 19min

  Scientists gave people Tylenol before a social rejection. It worked. Your nervous system treats being left out the same way it treats a broken bone. That is why telling yourself to just get over it has never, ever worked. And it is why this conversation with negotiation expert Kwame Christian is going to change how you see your own fear of conflict. If you’re non confrontational by nature, or you’ve spent years being a people pleaser to keep things smooth, what Kwame explains in this episode is going to feel like the first time someone has accurately described what is actually happening inside you. The fear is not weakness. It is biology. And there is a way through it. In this episode, I sit down with Kwame Christian, CEO of the American Negotiation Institute and host of Negotiate Anything. His framework, Compassionate Curiosity, is built entirely on empathy, genuine curiosity, and a clear sense of what you actually value. We did a live roleplay about household labor and invisible work, and I want to be honest with you: I felt the shift in real time. The resistance just left. That is what this approach does. In This Episode The neuroscience behind conflict avoidance, including why social rejection activates the same neural pathways as physical pain Kwame’s origin story as a people pleaser and exactly how he treated his fear of conflict like a phobia to overcome it The difference between being liked and being respected, and why only one of them gets you where you want to go A complete reframe of what negotiation actually is, and why the goal is never to win but to discover what is possible The Compassionate Curiosity framework step by step, including the pre-conversation internal work that makes you harder to rattle The Situation/Impact/Invitation opener that dissolves defensiveness before the hard conversation even begins A live roleplay on the invisible work conversation with a real-time demonstration of the shift that happens when you stop fighting What confidence in conflict actually looks like when it is not swagger Why This Matters This episode is for anyone who has ever bitten their tongue in a conversation that needed to happen. For anyone who has let something slide one too many times and felt a piece of themselves go with it. And for anyone who suspects that the life they want is on the other side of a conversation they have been too afraid to have. The best things in life are on the other side of difficult conversations. This episode will help you get there. Episode Breakdown 03:01 Why Difficult Conversations Feel Like a Threat (Not a Choice) 05:56 Kwame’s Origin Story — From People Pleaser to Negotiation Expert 10:16 The Difference Between Being Liked and Being Respected 16:36 Every Difficult Conversation Is a Relationship Test 26:01 How to Stop Caring If People Are Mad at You 39:21 Negotiation Isn’t What You Think It Is 51:37 The Compassionate Curiosity Framework — Live Roleplay 01:06:02 What It Actually Means to Be Confident in Conflict Resources Full article: https://www.growingself.com/how-to-have-difficult-conversations/ Free Communication Training (2-part video + workbook): https://www.growingself.com/communication/ Relationship coaching at Growing Self: https://www.growingself.com/relationship-coaching/ If today’s conversation stirred something in you, you do not have to work through it alone. My team of coaches and therapists at Growing Self is here. A free consultation, no pressure, just a real conversation about where you are and what might help. Come find us at growingself.com. And if you know someone who avoids conflict to keep the peace, please share this one. I bet you already have someone in mind. With love, xo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Upwork — When you need specialized talent fast, Upwork gives you access to vetted professionals. No long recruiting cycles. No guesswork. Just the right person, when you need them. Check it out at ⁠upwork.com⁠ — posting a job is free. Shopify — The all-in-one platform for building and growing your online business. Visit ⁠shopify.com/lhs⁠ to explore their tools and access exclusive listener discounts. OSEA - Amazing, clean, science-backed skincare made with the power of the sea. Use code LHS at ⁠oseamalibu.com⁠ for 10% off your first order Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/lhs⁠. LNutra Prolon — A science-backed, plant-based nutrition program that supports fat loss, metabolism, cellular rejuvenation, and overall longevity. Head to ⁠ProlonLife.com/LHS⁠ for 15% off your first order + a bonus gift.
• How to Beat Burnout: Use Play to Feel Like Yourself Again | Piera Gelardi | Happiness | E519 30.04.2026 54min

  Burnout and stress don’t just drain energy, they drain connection. If you’re in burnout, it can spike stress & anxiety and create real conflict & repair work at home. And here’s the part most people miss: sometimes burnout isn’t solved by “pushing harder” or even taking a break. Sometimes it’s about play. Not childish, silly, or irresponsible play. But a playful mindset—curiosity, experimentation, levity—that changes how you experience your real life, in real time. In this conversation, I’m joined by Piera Gelardi to talk about burnout recovery through a lens most people never consider. Piera is a creative entrepreneur, artist, and the co-founder of Refinery29 and 29Rooms, and her work is all about helping people reconnect with joy, creativity, and aliveness. Together, we explore what happens when life gets so serious, so scheduled, and so responsibility-heavy that you lose touch with the parts of yourself that feel light, open, and fully alive. We talk about “play deprivation,” the difference between having fun and living playfully, and why recovery from burnout often has less to do with escaping your life and more to do with changing your relationship to it. You’ll hear why humor as a coping mechanism can be surprisingly healing, how playful curiosity can shift conflict, and why the quiet boredom in relationship can sometimes be a sign that something important has gone missing. This is a warm, honest conversation about stress, connection, resilience, and what helps people feel like themselves again. We also get practical. Piera shares simple ways to bring more play into ordinary life, from finding the funny in hard moments to remixing daily routines, noticing beauty, and experimenting with small changes that make life feel less heavy. As you listen, I’d love for you to consider: What has gotten so serious lately? Where have you made joy conditional? And what might change if play was not something you earned after everything else was done, but part of how you cared for yourself all along? Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Why Play Matters for Adults 09:08 What Play Deprivation Really Looks Like 21:21 The Different Ways Adults Experience Play 30:11 How Humor Can Help You Cope 39:13 Wonder Wandering and Everyday Joy 41:16 Playfulness in Relationships 44:46 Why Play Is Fuel, Not Frivolous If you’re noticing that stress has taken over your mood, your relationships, or your ability to enjoy your own life, this might be a good time to get support. You can book a free consultation with me or a member of my team, and we’ll talk about what’s been feeling hard, what you want to change, and what kind of support would actually help. We’ll help you find the right counselor or coach so you can feel more grounded, more connected, and more like yourself again. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Upwork — and it’s a sponsorship I said yes to because I actually use it. When you need specialized talent fast, Upwork gives you access to vetted professionals across 125+ categories, from marketing to web development to operations support. No long recruiting cycles. No guesswork. Just the right person, when you need them. Check it out at upwork.com — posting a job is free. Shopify — The all-in-one platform for building and growing your online business. Visit shopify.com/lhs to explore their tools and access exclusive listener discounts.OSEA - Amazing, clean, science-backed skincare made with the power of the sea. Use code LHS at oseamalibu.com for 10% off your first order
• Betrayal Trauma Recovery | LHS Classic 29.04.2026 1h 5min

  Sometimes the worst part of betrayal is not what happened. It’s what keeps happening inside you afterward. Betrayal trauma recovery is about understanding why betrayal trauma can leave you anxious, hypervigilant, angry, shut down, or unsure of yourself long after the original event is over. In this episode, we’re revisiting a conversation about what happens when someone you love, trust, or depend on hurts you in a way that changes how safe the world feels. Whether the rupture came through infidelity, dishonesty, emotional abandonment, or another kind of relational betrayal, the aftermath can be disorienting in ways people do not always talk about clearly enough. We’ll look at why betrayal can create trauma responses that feel a lot like PTSD, and why healing after betrayal often takes more than insight alone. We’ll also explore what betrayal trauma recovery can look like in real life: naming the wound honestly, recognizing your trauma responses, understanding the difference between a real threat and an old trigger, and creating the kind of emotional safety that makes healing possible. If you’ve been trying to rebuild trust after betrayal, make sense of healing after infidelity, or learn how to trust yourself again, this episode offers a compassionate and grounded place to begin. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Betrayal Trauma Recovery 04:09 Why Betrayal Can Feel Like Trauma 08:38 What Counts as Betrayal? 15:43 Self-Blame and Losing Trust in Yourself 23:14 Betrayal Trauma Symptoms: Fear, Hypervigilance, and Avoidance 35:02 How Betrayal Trauma Recovery Begins 46:53 Why Safety Has to Come Before Healing 52:08 Healing, Boundaries, and Learning to Trust Yourself Again If this episode gave language to something you’ve been carrying alone, I’d like to offer you a gentle next step. You can schedule a free consultation with me or someone on my team, and we’ll help you find the right support for you. It’s private, secure, and only takes a couple of minutes to answer three quick questions so we can match you with the right counselor or coach. Think of it as a thoughtful first step toward feeling more clear, more supported, and more like yourself again. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Upwork — and it’s a sponsorship I said yes to because I actually use it. When you need specialized talent fast, Upwork gives you access to vetted professionals across 125+ categories, from marketing to web development to operations support. No long recruiting cycles. No guesswork. Just the right person, when you need them. Check it out at upwork.com — posting a job is free. Shopify — The all-in-one platform for building and growing your online business. Visit shopify.com/lhs to explore their tools and access exclusive listener discounts. OSEA - Amazing, clean, science-backed skincare made with the power of the sea. Use code LHS at oseamalibu.com for 10% off your first order
• How to Stop People-Pleasing and Start Being Respected | Kelvin Davis | Happiness | E518 27.04.2026 1h 10min

  If you struggle with boundaries, you can end up “nice”… and quietly miserable. Because when conflict shows up, you default to appeasing, avoiding, or people-pleasing. And then the same communication problems keep replaying until your emotional intimacy erodes. In this conversation, I’m joined by Kelvin Davis to talk about people pleasing, nice guy syndrome, and what it looks like to stop performing “niceness” and start showing up with honesty, courage, and self-respect. Kelvin shares how therapy helped him recognize his own people pleasing patterns, his fear of conflict, and the ways that conflict avoidance shaped his marriage, his identity, and his growth. If you’ve been trying to understand how to stop being a people pleaser, or why people pleasing keeps costing you closeness, clarity, and respect, this episode is for you. We’re also talking about how to set boundaries without becoming cold, defensive, or rigid. Kelvin opens up about emotional avoidance, approval-seeking, and the painful moment of realizing that being liked is not the same thing as being respected. Together, we explore the hidden cost of conflict avoidance, the difference between being a “nice guy” and being a good man, and why emotional intimacy begins to erode when hard conversations never really happen. This is a thoughtful conversation about people pleasing, relationships, self-respect, and what it takes to choose growth over comfort. Kelvin Davis is the founder and creator of Notoriously Dapper, a body positive menswear blog showcasing outfits to inspire men of all sizes to find confidence in their appearance. Notoriously Dapper was created to inspire all men to embrace who they are. In this episode, he brings that same message of authenticity to emotional growth too: how to stop shrinking, how to set boundaries, and how to become someone who can stay kind without abandoning themselves. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Nice Guy Syndrome and People-Pleasing 02:50 From Nice Guy to Good Man 08:49 Emotional Cheating and Emotional Intimacy 12:07 How to Set Boundaries 24:07 Choose Hard Now, Easy Later 34:20 Be Buffalo, Not Cows 39:06 Hard Conversations and Conflict Avoidance 53:56 Boundaries, Balance, and Respect If this conversation hit something tender in you, I’d love to offer you a way to take the next step. When you’ve spent a long time being the one who keeps the peace, avoids conflict, or bends yourself into whatever other people need, it can be hard to know how to begin doing something different. You deserve support with that. You can answer three quick questions so we can help you schedule a free consultation with the right expert on my team. It’s private, secure, and only takes a couple of minutes. If you’re ready to work on people pleasing, how to set boundaries, or the relationship patterns that keep replaying in your life, this is a warm, thoughtful place to begin. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Upwork — and it’s a sponsorship I said yes to because I actually use it. When you need specialized talent fast, Upwork gives you access to vetted professionals across 125+ categories, from marketing to web development to operations support. No long recruiting cycles. No guesswork. Just the right person, when you need them. Check it out at upwork.com — posting a job is free. Shopify — The all-in-one platform for building and growing your online business. Visit shopify.com/lhs to explore their tools and access exclusive listener discounts.OSEA - Amazing, clean, science-backed skincare made with the power of the sea. Use code LHS at oseamalibu.com for 10% off your first order
• How to Manage Anxiety When the World Feels Unsafe | Dr. Katharine Wilkinson | Happiness | E517 23.04.2026 1h 15min

  Anxiety, especially climate anxiety, can feel like a constant alarm you can’t shut off. If you’re living with stress & anxiety, chronic stress, and an undercurrent of grief, you’re not alone. And when it starts tipping into burnout, you need tools that build real-world agency. In this conversation, I’m joined by Dr. Katharine Wilkinson — writer, teacher, creator, and one of the clearest voices I know on climate emotions and meaningful action. We’re talking about climate anxiety, eco anxiety, climate change anxiety, and the emotional toll of living in a world that can feel harder to trust than it used to. This is a conversation about how to stay grounded without shutting down, and how to move through fear without letting it run your life. We talk about the difference between healthy fear and anxiety that starts taking over, and why anxiety about climate change can leave so many people feeling helpless, isolated, or stuck. Dr. Katharine shares how guilt, anger, and climate grief can become sources of information instead of feelings to numb out or carry alone. We also talk about community, young people, uncertainty, and how meaningful action can help shift you out of paralysis and into a deeper sense of agency. At the end, I put my psychologist hat on and talk through what to do when climate anxiety, chronic stress, or burnout begin affecting your sleep, mood, focus, or daily functioning. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 The Emotional Reality of Climate Anxiety 06:06 Guilt, Action, and Agency 18:02 Healthy Fear vs. Climate Anxiety 21:11 Community, Connection, and Collective Action 39:37 Helping Young People Face an Uncertain Future 45:03 Rage, Grief, and a Way Forward If this conversation brought up something tender for you — fear, grief, burnout, or that constant sense of bracing for what’s next — I want to offer you a gentle next step. Let’s find the right support for you. You can schedule a free consultation with me or someone on my team. It’s a private, secure space where you’ll answer three quick questions so we can help match you with the right counselor or coach for what you’re carrying right now. It only takes a couple of minutes, and it may be the beginning of feeling more supported, more grounded, and less alone. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Shopify — The all-in-one platform for building and growing your online business. Visit shopify.com/lhs to explore their tools and access exclusive listener discounts. Upwork - Upwork gives you access to vetted professionals across 125+ categories, from marketing to web development to operations support. No long recruiting cycles. No guesswork. Just the right person, when you need them. Check it out at Upwork.com — posting a job is free OSEA - Amazing, clean, science-backed skincare made with the power of the sea. Use code LHS at oseamalibu.com for 10% off your first order
• How to Make Long Distance Work | LHS Classic 22.04.2026 1h

  Long distance relationships can be sweet and brutal at the same time. You miss each other, you overthink texts, you put way too much pressure on visits, and sometimes one weird phone call can throw off your whole week. If you’ve been trying to figure out how to make long distance work without losing your mind or your connection, this episode is for you. This week on the Love, Happiness, and Success podcast, I’m revisiting an earlier conversation with my colleague Brogan Crosby about what actually helps long distance couples stay strong. Brogan is a couples therapist at Growing Self, and her clinical work and master’s research both focus on long distance relationships. Together, we talk about the real challenges couples run into, including disconnection, insecurity, pressure around time together, and the fear that physical distance might start turning into emotional distance. We also get into what helps. This is a practical conversation about how to stay connected in a long distance relationship, how to build emotional security across the miles, and how to use love languages creatively when you can’t just reach for each other at the end of a hard day. From FaceTime and shared meals to letters, movie nights, and thoughtful gestures, this episode is full of grounded long distance relationship advice that can help your relationship feel stronger and more secure. Brogan also shares something that deserves more attention: long distance relationships can have real strengths too. Space can create room for personal growth, deeper appreciation, and more intentional connection. We also talk about what happens when the distance finally closes, because moving in together is its own transition. Even when love is solid, couples still need honest conversations about expectations, roles, and how to stay connected in a new season of the relationship. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Introduction to Long Distance Relationships 04:55 Common Challenges in Long Distance Relationships 15:01 Unexpected Strengths of Long Distance Relationships 20:06 Emotional Security and Staying Connected 35:01 Love Languages Across the Miles 48:13 Transitioning from Long Distance to Living Together If you’ve been carrying the stress of loving someone from far away, and you’re tired of wondering whether the distance is slowly pulling you apart, I’d love to connect with you. You can schedule a free consultation with me or a member of my team. It’s a private, secure space where you can tell us what’s been happening in your relationship, what’s feeling hard, and what you wish felt different. We’ll help you get matched with the right counselor or coach so you can feel more connected, more understood, and more confident about how to build a strong, secure relationship, even across the miles. You don’t have to keep trying to figure this out on your own. 💗 xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Upwork — and it’s a sponsorship I said yes to because I actually use it. When you need specialized talent fast, Upwork gives you access to vetted professionals across 125+ categories, from marketing to web development to operations support. No long recruiting cycles. No guesswork. Just the right person, when you need them. Check it out at upwork.com — posting a job is free. Shopify — The all-in-one platform for building and growing your online business. Visit shopify.com/lhs to explore their tools and access exclusive listener discounts. OSEA - Amazing, clean, science-backed skincare made with the power of the sea. Use code LHS at oseamalibu.com for 10% off your first order
• Are You Making Major Relationship Mistakes Without Realizing It? | LHS Classic 20.04.2026 51min

  Most relationship mistakes do not begin with one dramatic betrayal or blowout fight. More often, they begin with unhealthy relationship habits like defensiveness, blame, criticism, neglect, and communication problems in relationships that slowly create emotional disconnection over time. If your relationship has been feeling harder than it used to, this episode will help you understand why. In this Love, Happiness and Success classic, I’m revisiting one of my favorite conversations about the subtle patterns that can quietly damage even a good relationship. As a marriage counselor, I’ve seen how easy it is to focus on what your partner is doing wrong while missing the ways you may also be contributing to resentment, distance, and disconnection. We’re talking about some of the most common relationship mistakes, including making the relationship too much about yourself, blaming your issues instead of taking responsibility for them, neglecting your partner, criticizing instead of communicating clearly, bottling up feelings, and expecting problems to get better without direct effort. We also get into why blame, defensiveness, and mind-reading are so destructive, and what helps instead: empathy, accountability, honest communication, and the willingness to address problems while they are still small. This episode is a reminder that strong relationships are built with intention. When you can recognize the unhealthy relationship habits that are getting in the way, it becomes much easier to create more trust, more warmth, and more connection. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 The Relationship Mistakes That Cause Real Damage 04:25 Unhealthy Relationship Habits That Push Partners Apart 10:03 Communication Problems in Relationships: Blame, Defensiveness, and Criticism 20:26 Emotional Disconnection: When Couples Stop Really Talking 30:08 How to Fix Relationship Problems Before They Get Worse 42:03 Final Takeaways on Healthy Relationship Skills If you’re recognizing some of these patterns in your own relationship, and you’re ready for things to feel different, I’d love to connect with you. You can schedule a free consultation with me or a member of my team. It’s a private, secure space where you can tell us what’s really been happening in your relationship, what’s feeling hard, and what you wish felt different. We’ll help you get matched with the right counselor or coach so you can feel more understood, more connected, and more confident in your ability to create healthy, secure love. You do not have to keep trying to figure this out on your own. 💗 xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Shopify — The all-in-one platform for building and growing your online business. Visit shopify.com/lhs to explore their tools and access exclusive listener discounts. Upwork - Upwork gives you access to vetted professionals across 125+ categories, from marketing to web development to operations support. No long recruiting cycles. No guesswork. Just the right person, when you need them. Check it out at Upwork.com — posting a job is free.
• Is Your Secure Bond Missing? How to Build Trust and Feel Safe | Dr. Amir Levine | Happiness | E516 16.04.2026 1h 9min

  If you want a secure bond but keep feeling activated or shut down, you’re not doomed.  A secure bond gets built through emotional intimacy, trust, and safe relationships, not willpower. Most people hear about attachment styles and think, “Okay… that’s me.” But insight alone doesn’t change your nervous system. And it doesn’t change your relationship patterns. In this conversation, Dr. Amir Levine and I are talking about secure attachment, what it really means, and how to become securely attached in the relationships that matter most. Knowing you lean anxious or avoidant is one thing. Creating emotional safety in relationships is something else entirely. When love starts to feel like chasing, bracing, second-guessing, or shutting down, that is usually not a character flaw. It is a pattern that can change. Dr. Amir Levine is a Columbia-trained psychiatrist and neuroscientist, an Associate Professor of Clinical Psychiatry at Columbia University Medical Center, and the coauthor of the multi-million-copy bestseller Attached. In his new book, Secure, he explains what a secure attachment style in relationships looks like, why attachment is not a fixed sentence from childhood, and how safe, steady relationships can help your nervous system move toward more trust and connection. We talk about anxious, avoidant, and secure attachment, the difference between attachment patterns and attachment disorders, and why security matters far beyond romance. You’ll also hear why avoidant attachment style communication patterns can leave both people feeling more distressed, how small moments of responsiveness build trust, and why some relationships keep your attachment system activated instead of helping you feel safe. As you listen, notice which relationships help you feel calmer, clearer, and more like yourself. Then notice which ones leave you spinning. That awareness can change a lot. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Why Knowing Your Attachment Style Still Leaves You Stuck 03:14 What Secure Attachment Looks Like in Real Life 06:31 Which Attachment Style Sounds Most Like You? 15:40 Why Secure Attachment Changes More Than Your Love Life 20:21 Can You Become More Secure Over Time? 26:55 The Five Traits That Create Emotional Safety 37:35 How to Ask for What Helps You Feel Safe 48:08 The Tiny Moments That Rewire Attachment 55:32 How to Break the Anxious Protest Cycle 1:02:17 When It’s Time to Get Support If this conversation brought up some clarity for you about your relationship patterns, attachment style, or the ways you long to feel more secure with the people you love, I want to offer you something. At Growing Self, we make it easy to find the right kind of support for exactly what you’re working through. You can answer three quick questions and we’ll help you book a free consultation with the expert on our team who fits you best. It’s private, secure, and only takes a couple of minutes. Whether you want help creating more emotional safety in relationships, breaking old patterns, or moving toward a more secure attachment, we’d be honored to support you. 💗 xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Shopify — The all-in-one platform for building and growing your online business. Visit shopify.com/lhs to explore their tools and access exclusive listener discounts. Upwork - Upwork gives you access to vetted professionals across 125+ categories, from marketing to web development to operations support. No long recruiting cycles. No guesswork. Just the right person, when you need them. Check it out at Upwork.com — posting a job is free.