The cult.ture podcast

Episoade

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  38-From Armageddon Fear to Public Service with Gisselle 01.08.2026 2h 9min

  What happens when a child is taught that the world may end before she ever reaches adulthood? Gisselle Ayala grew up as a first-generation Latina in a strict Jehovah’s Witness family in Phoenix. From an early age, she was taught that Armageddon was imminent, that life in the present world was temporary, and that pursuing a career or higher education was largely unnecessary. In this audio-only conversation, Gisselle joins Derek to discuss the isolation of growing up “in the world” but never being allowed to fully participate in it. She reflects on the pressure to maintain appearances, the lack of empathy she witnessed inside the congregation, the suppression of her cultural identity, and the painful consequences of disfellowshipping within her own family. Gisselle also shares how her desire to attend Bethel unexpectedly led her to community college and how using the research skills she had been taught eventually exposed contradictions she could no longer ignore. After discovering the organization’s handling of child sexual abuse cases and witnessing an elder verbally intimidate her younger brother, she decided that she would never return to another meeting. Leaving at 19 did not immediately erase the fear, isolation, or pressure. But it gave Gisselle the opportunity to begin creating a future she had never been taught to imagine. Today, she holds a bachelor’s degree in mass communications, media studies, and journalism and is pursuing a Master of Public Administration and Public Policy at Arizona State University. Her interests in civic engagement, voting access, and public service have become part of the process of reclaiming a voice she once felt forced to silence. This conversation explores: • Growing up in a strict Spanish-language Jehovah’s Witness congregation• Cultural identity, representation, and the Gen Z ex-JW experience• Armageddon fear and being raised without a vision for the future• Family instability, disfellowshipping, and conditional belonging• Higher education and the pressure to abandon college• Researching Watchtower teachings and discovering misrepresented sources• The meeting that became Gisselle’s final night in the congregation• Rebuilding family relationships after leaving• Political neutrality, voting, and reclaiming civic participation• Creating a meaningful life beyond a high-control religion Gisselle’s story is a reminder that leaving is not the end of someone’s life. Sometimes, it is the first opportunity they have had to truly begin it. Follow Gisselle on Tik Tok: @gisselle.ara   Support cult.ture pod over on Patreon Follow us on Instagram and TikTok thanks for rating us 5 stars 🫶   Disclaimer:The views and experiences shared on cult.ture are personal and based on the lived experiences of the hosts and guests. This podcast is not intended to attack or defame any individual or religious organization or provide therapy. Our aim is to foster honest, empathetic conversations about high-control environments, belief systems, and personal journeys including the long road of healing, questioning, and reclaiming identity. Please be advised that some episodes may contain content that touches on religious trauma, coercive control, emotional or physical abuse, or other potentially triggering topics. We strive to approach these conversations with care, but we acknowledge that certain themes may be difficult to hear. Listener discretion is advised. If you or someone you know is experiencing distress related to these topics, we encourage seeking support from qualified mental health professionals, spiritual trauma-informed therapists, or trusted recovery communities. You are not alone.      
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  37-Finding Freedom | Scott Homan & Witness Underground 18.07.2026 2h 1min

  What happens when your greatest act of resistance is simply becoming yourself? This week, we sit down with filmmaker Scott Homan, director of the acclaimed documentaryWitness Underground, to explore life growing up as a second-generation Jehovah’s Witness, the underground music scene that became a lifeline, and the long journey of rebuilding identity after leaving a high-control religion. Scott shares the moment he realized he was living two lives, one dictated by the expectations of the Watchtower and another fueled by creativity, music, and authentic connection. Together, we unpack the psychology of indoctrination, fear, deconstruction, chosen family, and why art often becomes one of the first languages of freedom.   In this episode we discuss: Growing up as a second-generation Jehovah’s Witness Music as a path toward authenticity and self-discovery The hidden underground scene of Jehovah’s Witness musicians Fear, indoctrination, and the psychology of control The moment Scott recognized he was in a cult Deconstruction, atheism, and rebuilding a worldview Friendship, community, and healing after high-control religion The making of Witness Underground Whether you’ve experienced religious trauma, left a high-control group, or simply want to better understand how people reclaim their identity after systems of control, this is a conversation about resilience, creativity, and what it means to finally live on your own terms.   Learn More About Scott Homan & His Work Witness UndergroundDocumentary exploring the underground music scene within Jehovah’s Witness culture and the journey of those who found freedom through creativity.https://www.witnessunderground.com/ Watch / Stream Witness UndergroundAvailable through multiple platforms including Apple, Amazon, Tubi, Plex, YouTube Movies, and more.https://www.witnessunderground.com/ Banana Island Filmshttps://www.bananaislandfilms.com Banana Island Films YouTube Channelhttps://www.youtube.com/@bananaislandfilms Guidedoc (International Streaming)https://guidedoc.tv/documentary/witness-underground-love-letter-to-the-outcast-documentary-film/ Rotten Tomatoeshttps://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/witness_underground IMDbhttps://www.imdb.com/title/tt15215562 Follow Scott Instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/scotthoman Witness Underground Instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/witnessunderground Facebookhttps://www.facebook.com/WitnessUnderground Other Projects  Hanoi MixtapeA documentary exploring the underground music scene in Hanoi, Vietnam.https://www.hanoimixtape.com/ Music and the Mystical ExperienceDocumentary project exploring music, consciousness, and psychedelic therapy.https://www.sutherlandsounds.com/music-for-psychedelic-therapy Nuclear GopherNew music from the artists and recording studio covered in Witness Undergroundhttps://www.nucleargopher.com/ Resources Mentioned For those questioning faith, recovering from religious trauma, or rebuilding after high-control environments: Recovering From Religionhttps://www.recoveringfromreligion.org/ Secular Therapy Projecthttps://www.seculartherapy.org/ DECULTA documentary and resource project exploring cult recovery and coercive control.https://decult.net/ DECULT: Beyond Belief Documentaryhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NZMhsGHTn30 Cults to Consciousnesshttps://www.youtube.com/channel/UCdruRz-kWtIBIzgURq05lzw If this episode resonates with you, please consider subscribing, leaving a review, and sharing it with someone who may need to hear it. Your support helps us continue creating conversations that explore identity, belief, recovery, and the human experience with honesty and compassion.     Support cult.ture pod over on Patreon Follow us on Instagram and TikTok thanks for rating us 5 stars 🫶     Disclaimer:The views and experiences shared on cult.ture are personal and based on the lived experiences of the hosts and guests. This podcast is not intended to attack or defame any individual or religious organization or provide ther
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  36-Brittany Hart on IHOPKC, Spiritual Abuse, and Rebuilding Faith 04.07.2026 1h 32min

  In this episode, Derek and Trent sit down with Brittany Hart, writer, poet, and author of Surviving Wonderland: A Journey Beyond Control. Brittany Hart is an author and poet who writes at the intersection of spiritual trauma and recovery. Her debut collection, Surviving Wonderland: A Journey Beyond Control, transforms her experience in a high-control religious group into art for anyone reclaiming their voice and finding their way back to themselves. She now supports fellow survivors through creative writing, online guides, and spaces of gentle, grounded healing. Brittany shares her experience inside the International House of Prayer in Kansas City, also known as IHOPKC, and how a high-control religious environment shaped her sense of identity, time, purpose, and faith. What began as a sincere search for God slowly became wrapped in fear, urgency, end-times messaging, intense worship culture, and the belief that rest, normal life, and even questioning could mean spiritual failure. Through her book, Brittany uses poetry and the imagery of Alice in Wonderland to describe the process of going down the rabbit hole, waking up, and finding language for what happened. This conversation explores spiritual abuse, the power of music and repetition, the grief of lost time, the role of therapy, and what it can look like to rebuild faith in a way that is no longer rooted in fear. This is a conversation about control, healing, and the courage it takes to come back to yourself.   Brittany’s poetry collection, Surviving Wonderland: A Journey Beyond Control, is now available on Amazon Untangle from end times anxiety with help from Brittany here Follow Brittany on Instagram   Support cult.ture pod over on Patreon Follow us on Instagram and TikTok thanks for rating us 5 stars 🫶     Disclaimer:The views and experiences shared on cult.ture are personal and based on the lived experiences of the hosts and guests. This podcast is not intended to attack or defame any individual or religious organization or provide therapy. Our aim is to foster honest, empathetic conversations about high-control environments, belief systems, and personal journeys including the long road of healing, questioning, and reclaiming identity. Please be advised that some episodes may contain content that touches on religious trauma, coercive control, emotional or physical abuse, or other potentially triggering topics. We strive to approach these conversations with care, but we acknowledge that certain themes may be difficult to hear. Listener discretion is advised. If you or someone you know is experiencing distress related to these topics, we encourage seeking support from qualified mental health professionals, spiritual trauma-informed therapists, or trusted recovery communities. You are not alone.  
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  35-They Reinstated an Apostate | Jeron's Story 20.06.2026 1h 11min

  Jeron Benton joins cult.ture to share his journey growing up as a Jehovah's Witness, becoming inactive, returning to the organization after a near-death experience, and ultimately waking up after a shocking judicial committee experience. In this conversation, Jeron opens up about being disfellowshipped after spending two years trying to return to the faith, the moment he realized the system wasn't what he believed it was, and the bold plan that led him to be reinstated after he had already become an apostate. We also explore the deeper realities of leaving a high-control religion: losing family, rebuilding identity, navigating grief, finding authentic friendships, and learning to trust yourself after years of being taught not to. Most importantly, this episode is about healing. Jeron shares what freedom looks like today, the struggles that still remain, and the practices that help him move forward. Topics include: • Jehovah's Witness upbringing• Disfellowshipping and shunning• Judicial committees• Family loss after leaving• Cult recovery and deconstruction• Emotional healing and men's mental health• Authenticity and personal freedom• Rebuilding life after a high-control group Follow Jeron: YouTube: Jeron BentonInstagram: @jerons_world   Support cult.ture pod over on Patreon Follow us on Instagram and TikTok thanks for rating us 5 stars 🫶     Disclaimer:The views and experiences shared on cult.ture are personal and based on the lived experiences of the hosts and guests. This podcast is not intended to attack or defame any individual or religious organization or provide therapy. Our aim is to foster honest, empathetic conversations about high-control environments, belief systems, and personal journeys including the long road of healing, questioning, and reclaiming identity. Please be advised that some episodes may contain content that touches on religious trauma, coercive control, emotional or physical abuse, or other potentially triggering topics. We strive to approach these conversations with care, but we acknowledge that certain themes may be difficult to hear. Listener discretion is advised. If you or someone you know is experiencing distress related to these topics, we encourage seeking support from qualified mental health professionals, spiritual trauma-informed therapists, or trusted recovery communities. You are not alone.  
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  34-Stop the Shunning: A Conversation with Bethany Leger 06.06.2026 2h 5min

  In this episode of cult.ture, Derek sits down with author, speaker, and Stop the Shunning creator Bethany Leger. Raised as a Jehovah's Witness, Bethany shares her journey from questioning the organization to ultimately leaving alongside her husband. Together, they explore the emotional realities of shunning, the complexities of family estrangement, and what it means to rebuild a life after a high-control environment. The conversation dives into Bethany's books, Physically and Mentally Out and her newest release, Burning Down the House, which examines toxic family dynamics, boundaries, conditional love, and healing after emotional control. Topics include: • Leaving Jehovah's Witnesses• The impact of shunning• Family estrangement• Toxic family systems• Setting healthy boundaries• Identity after high-control groups• Activism and recovery• Finding authenticity after trauma Whether you're navigating religious trauma, family estrangement, or simply learning how to reclaim your voice, Bethany offers insight, honesty, and hope for the journey forward. Connect with Bethany:YouTubeWebsite Email Instagram Support cult.ture pod over on Patreon Follow us on Instagram and TikTok thanks for rating us 5 stars 🫶     Disclaimer:The views and experiences shared on cult.ture are personal and based on the lived experiences of the hosts and guests. This podcast is not intended to attack or defame any individual or religious organization or provide therapy. Our aim is to foster honest, empathetic conversations about high-control environments, belief systems, and personal journeys including the long road of healing, questioning, and reclaiming identity. Please be advised that some episodes may contain content that touches on religious trauma, coercive control, emotional or physical abuse, or other potentially triggering topics. We strive to approach these conversations with care, but we acknowledge that certain themes may be difficult to hear. Listener discretion is advised. If you or someone you know is experiencing distress related to these topics, we encourage seeking support from qualified mental health professionals, spiritual trauma-informed therapists, or trusted recovery communities. You are not alone.  
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  33-Novice Enthusiasm: Creativity After Control — with Sean Miller 23.05.2026 2h 50min

  In this episode of cult.ture pod, Derek and Trent sit down with artist, writer, and former Jehovah’s Witness Sean Miller for a raw, grounded, and deeply human conversation about life after high‑control religion. Sean grew up as a born‑in JW, the son of a respected elder, and followed the expected path of baptism at 16, auxiliary pioneering, regular pioneering, ministerial servant. But beneath the surface, he carried a creative drive that the organization repeatedly framed as selfish, dangerous, or worldly. As he puts it in the episode, “Go try to take a passion project and throw it into the creative industry when you’ve been taught you don’t even deserve kindness.” Together, we explore: What it’s like to rediscover your identity after leaving a high‑control group How creativity becomes both a survival tool and a reclamation of self The psychological cost of being an artist in a restrictive religious environment The difference between “what the cult took” and “where we land afterward” Why Sean finally finished his book Novice Enthusiasm — and how this podcast played a role The strange, beautiful ways the universe nudges us forward This conversation is honest, funny, grounded, and refreshingly free of bitterness. It’s about growth, not grievance  and about the creative life that becomes possible once you step outside the boundaries someone else drew for you. If you’ve ever left a high‑control group, struggled with self‑worth, or tried to reclaim your creative voice, this episode will resonate.   Find Sean Here: Website: www.seangregorymiller.com Book: Novice Enthusiasm Socials: Instagram     Support cult.ture pod over on Patreon Follow us on Instagram and TikTok thanks for rating us 5 stars 🫶     Disclaimer:The views and experiences shared on cult.ture are personal and based on the lived experiences of the hosts and guests. This podcast is not intended to attack or defame any individual or religious organization or provide therapy. Our aim is to foster honest, empathetic conversations about high-control environments, belief systems, and personal journeys including the long road of healing, questioning, and reclaiming identity. Please be advised that some episodes may contain content that touches on religious trauma, coercive control, emotional or physical abuse, or other potentially triggering topics. We strive to approach these conversations with care, but we acknowledge that certain themes may be difficult to hear. Listener discretion is advised. If you or someone you know is experiencing distress related to these topics, we encourage seeking support from qualified mental health professionals, spiritual trauma-informed therapists, or trusted recovery communities. You are not alone.    
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  32-Blood Doctrine, Programming & Conditional Love | Audrey’s Story 09.05.2026 1h 35min

  Audrey joins Trent and Derek to share her experience growing up as a Jehovah’s Witness and what ultimately led her to leave in 2025. In this episode, Audrey opens up about the emotional pressure of trying to live a “perfect” life inside the organization, the fear surrounding blood transfusions, purity culture, elder involvement in marriage and sexuality, conditional relationships, and the difficult process of rebuilding life outside the religion. We also explore what it’s like waking up while married to a non-Witness, the emotional pull to return, navigating family dynamics, and learning how to trust yourself after years inside a high-control belief system. Audrey’s story is raw, honest, emotional, and deeply human. If you’ve ever questioned a system of control or struggled with rebuilding your identity after leaving one, this conversation may resonate with you.   Follow Audrey:TikTok: @audrey.breaks.free Instagram: @_audrey_la_latinga_   Support cult.ture pod over on Patreon Follow us on Instagram and TikTok thanks for rating us 5 stars 🫶     Disclaimer:The views and experiences shared on cult.ture are personal and based on the lived experiences of the hosts and guests. This podcast is not intended to attack or defame any individual or religious organization or provide therapy. Our aim is to foster honest, empathetic conversations about high-control environments, belief systems, and personal journeys including the long road of healing, questioning, and reclaiming identity. Please be advised that some episodes may contain content that touches on religious trauma, coercive control, emotional or physical abuse, or other potentially triggering topics. We strive to approach these conversations with care, but we acknowledge that certain themes may be difficult to hear. Listener discretion is advised. If you or someone you know is experiencing distress related to these topics, we encourage seeking support from qualified mental health professionals, spiritual trauma-informed therapists, or trusted recovery communities. You are not alone.  
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  31-Lydia's Story: Approved, Watched, Controlled 25.04.2026 2h 17min

  In this episode, we sit down with Lydia, a former Jehovah’s Witness who grew up in a fourth-generation family deeply rooted in the organization. From a young age, Lydia was seen as “exemplary”, giving talks at assemblies, pioneering, and doing everything expected of her. But beneath the praise was something else: pressure, anxiety, and a growing disconnect from her own identity. We explore what it’s like to grow up performing your worth, the subtle ways control shows up through approval, and how even “good” experiences can carry hidden weight. Lydia shares her journey through waking up, navigating therapy, redefining identity, and processing moments that only later revealed themselves as harmful or inappropriate. This conversation is about more than leaving a belief system.It’s about learning how to think, feel, and choose for yourself for the first time. If you’ve ever questioned your identity, your worth, or the system you were raised in, this one will resonate.   Griswold Creative House   Disclaimer:The views and experiences shared on cult.ture are personal and based on the lived experiences of the hosts and guests. This podcast is not intended to attack or defame any individual or religious organization or provide therapy. Our aim is to foster honest, empathetic conversations about high-control environments, belief systems, and personal journeys including the long road of healing, questioning, and reclaiming identity. Please be advised that some episodes may contain content that touches on religious trauma, coercive control, emotional or physical abuse, or other potentially triggering topics. We strive to approach these conversations with care, but we acknowledge that certain themes may be difficult to hear. Listener discretion is advised. If you or someone you know is experiencing distress related to these topics, we encourage seeking support from qualified mental health professionals, spiritual trauma-informed therapists, or trusted recovery communities. You are not alone.  
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  30-Breaking Free from a Catholic Cult: Ryan’s Story 11.04.2026 1h 6min

  Ryan, host of The Truth That Heals, joins us to share his story of growing up Catholic and eventually being pulled into a high-control religious group that claimed legitimacy within the Church. What began as a calling rooted in faith turned into over a decade of control, fear, and psychological manipulation. In this episode, we explore: How spiritual language is used to recruit and control The role of fear, guilt, and “divine calling” What it’s like to live inside a constantly evolving belief system The moment things started to crack And what it takes to finally walk away This is a conversation about identity, autonomy, and the courage to question what you were taught to never doubt.   Support cult.ture pod over on Patreon Follow us on Instagram and TikTok thanks for rating us 5 stars 🫶     Disclaimer:The views and experiences shared on cult.ture are personal and based on the lived experiences of the hosts and guests. This podcast is not intended to attack or defame any individual or religious organization or provide therapy. Our aim is to foster honest, empathetic conversations about high-control environments, belief systems, and personal journeys including the long road of healing, questioning, and reclaiming identity. Please be advised that some episodes may contain content that touches on religious trauma, coercive control, emotional or physical abuse, or other potentially triggering topics. We strive to approach these conversations with care, but we acknowledge that certain themes may be difficult to hear. Listener discretion is advised. If you or someone you know is experiencing distress related to these topics, we encourage seeking support from qualified mental health professionals, spiritual trauma-informed therapists, or trusted recovery communities. You are not alone.        
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  29-Everything Changed: How Jordan Left a High-Control Religion 28.03.2026 1h 11min

  What happens when you choose yourself… and lose everything? In this episode of cult.ture, Derek is joined by Jordan, a former Jehovah’s Witness who shares his journey of waking up and walking away from a high-control religious system. Jordan opens up about: Growing up in the Jehovah’s Witness organization Struggling with identity and sexuality inside a restrictive belief system The moment everything started to unravel Being shunned by family The emotional reality of “losing” people who are still alive Finding healing, voice, and purpose through sharing his story This conversation explores the deep psychological and emotional impact of leaving high-control groups and what it takes to rebuild your identity on your own terms. If you’ve ever questioned your beliefs, felt the weight of conditional love, or are navigating life after a controlling environment, this episode is for you.   Video LINK discussed on pod     Support cult.ture pod over on Patreon Follow us on Instagram and TikTok thanks for rating us 5 stars 🫶     Disclaimer:The views and experiences shared on cult.ture are personal and based on the lived experiences of the hosts and guests. This podcast is not intended to attack or defame any individual or religious organization or provide therapy. Our aim is to foster honest, empathetic conversations about high-control environments, belief systems, and personal journeys including the long road of healing, questioning, and reclaiming identity. Please be advised that some episodes may contain content that touches on religious trauma, coercive control, emotional or physical abuse, or other potentially triggering topics. We strive to approach these conversations with care, but we acknowledge that certain themes may be difficult to hear. Listener discretion is advised. If you or someone you know is experiencing distress related to these topics, we encourage seeking support from qualified mental health professionals, spiritual trauma-informed therapists, or trusted recovery communities. You are not alone.  
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  28-Finding Your Life After: Correen Hardin on Leaving Jehovah’s Witnesses 14.03.2026 1h 13min

  In this episode of cult.ture, Derek and Trent sit down with Correen Hardin, author of Best Life After, to explore what life can look like after leaving Jehovah’s Witnesses. Correen shares her personal story of growing up inside the religion, the complex process of leaving, and the emotional and psychological realities that follow when someone steps outside a high-control belief system. The conversation explores identity, autonomy, relationships, and the long process of rebuilding a life after religious deconstruction. Rather than focusing only on what people leave behind, this episode looks at what comes next, how people begin rediscovering themselves, creating new meaning, and finding their voice again. This is a thoughtful and honest conversation about belief, identity, and the courage it takes to reclaim your life.   About Our Guest Correen Hardin is the author of Best Life After, a book exploring the journey of rebuilding life after leaving Jehovah’s Witnesses. 📖 Best Life Afterhttps://bookshop.org/p/books/best-life-after-correen-r-hardin/2d356d53a1814687 🌐 Websitehttps://corismaly.com/about-the-autho/ 📸 Instagramhttps://instagram.com/444corelyse888 🎵 TikTokhttps://tiktok.com/@444corelyse888     Support cult.ture pod over on Patreon Follow us on Instagram and TikTok thanks for rating us 5 stars 🫶     Disclaimer:The views and experiences shared on cult.ture are personal and based on the lived experiences of the hosts and guests. This podcast is not intended to attack or defame any individual or religious organization or provide therapy. Our aim is to foster honest, empathetic conversations about high-control environments, belief systems, and personal journeys including the long road of healing, questioning, and reclaiming identity. Please be advised that some episodes may contain content that touches on religious trauma, coercive control, emotional or physical abuse, or other potentially triggering topics. We strive to approach these conversations with care, but we acknowledge that certain themes may be difficult to hear. Listener discretion is advised. If you or someone you know is experiencing distress related to these topics, we encourage seeking support from qualified mental health professionals, spiritual trauma-informed therapists, or trusted recovery communities. You are not alone.  
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  27-A Thousand Tiny Cuts: Patriarchy, Control & the Cost of “God’s Will” 28.02.2026 58min

  On this episode of cult.ture pod we sit down with Katherine Spearing the author of A Thousand Tiny Paper Cuts, founder of Tears of Eden, trauma recovery coach, and survivor of the Christian patriarchy movement. Katherine grew up in a world where women were expected to move from the authority of their father to the authority of their husband. College wasn’t encouraged. Autonomy wasn’t modeled. And “God’s will” often ended the conversation before it began. But abuse in high-control systems isn’t always loud. Sometimes it’s subtle.Sometimes it’s polite.Sometimes it’s spiritual. In this episode, we explore: The “stay-at-home daughter” movement Patriarchy as a control mechanism Why you can’t argue with God in high-control religion DARVO and the BITE model in action The overlap between evangelicalism and cult dynamics What healing actually looks like after religious trauma Why living a thriving life may be the most powerful response Katherine shares how thousands of small spiritual “paper cuts” can build into something life-threatening and how therapy, community, and autonomy helped her rebuild. If you’ve ever questioned authority…If you were told obedience equals holiness…If your autonomy was framed as rebellion… This conversation is for you.   Connect with Katherine Spearing:https://www.katherinespearing.comInstagramUncertain on SpotifyUncertain on Apple Podcasts About the Book & Publisher:A Thousand Tiny Paper Cuts published by Lake Drive BooksLake Drive Books on Instagram Community Resource:Tears of Eden    Support cult.ture pod over on Patreon Follow us on Instagram and TikTok thanks for rating us 5 stars 🫶     Disclaimer:The views and experiences shared on cult.ture are personal and based on the lived experiences of the hosts and guests. This podcast is not intended to attack or defame any individual or religious organization or provide therapy. Our aim is to foster honest, empathetic conversations about high-control environments, belief systems, and personal journeys including the long road of healing, questioning, and reclaiming identity. Please be advised that some episodes may contain content that touches on religious trauma, coercive control, emotional or physical abuse, or other potentially triggering topics. We strive to approach these conversations with care, but we acknowledge that certain themes may be difficult to hear. Listener discretion is advised. If you or someone you know is experiencing distress related to these topics, we encourage seeking support from qualified mental health professionals, spiritual trauma-informed therapists, or trusted recovery communities. You are not alone.    
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  26-From Shunning to Rebuilding with Griswold House 14.02.2026 2h 39min

  In this episode, we sit down with McKenzie and Marcell childhood friends who grew up inside Jehovah’s Witnesses, lost each other to shunning, and eventually found their way back to one another after deconstructing. Marcell shares what it was like growing up in poverty, finding “divine” love inside the organization, and fully believing it was the truth even while quietly believing he would die at Armageddon. McKenzie opens up about being raised in a fully immersed family system, marrying young, navigating divorce under Watchtower policy, and the moment she realized she could never treat her own children the way she had been treated. Together, they unpack: • Love bombing and conditional community• Growing up believing you’re never “good enough• Shunning and rebuilding authentic friendship• Patriarchy and being treated like a pawn• COVID wake-ups & the Australian Royal Commission• The fear of Armageddon even when you’re “doing everything right Now, on the other side, they’re building something new through Griswold House, a creative venture rooted in authenticity, agency, and chosen community. Connect with them: Website: https://griswoldhouse.com/Marcell / GriswoldGriswold Creative House (Business)McKenzie (TikTok)   Support cult.ture pod over on Patreon Follow us on Instagram and TikTok thanks for rating us 5 stars 🫶     Disclaimer:The views and experiences shared on cult.ture are personal and based on the lived experiences of the hosts and guests. This podcast is not intended to attack or defame any individual or religious organization or provide therapy. Our aim is to foster honest, empathetic conversations about high-control environments, belief systems, and personal journeys including the long road of healing, questioning, and reclaiming identity. Please be advised that some episodes may contain content that touches on religious trauma, coercive control, emotional or physical abuse, or other potentially triggering topics. We strive to approach these conversations with care, but we acknowledge that certain themes may be difficult to hear. Listener discretion is advised. If you or someone you know is experiencing distress related to these topics, we encourage seeking support from qualified mental health professionals, spiritual trauma-informed therapists, or trusted recovery communities. You are not alone.
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  25-Finally Waking Up — Fear, False Prophecy, and Life After 31.01.2026 1h 46min

  Stephanie spent most of her life carrying a fear she didn’t choose. Raised as one of Jehovah’s Witnesses, baptized at just fourteen, and taught from early childhood that the end of the world was “right around the corner,” Stephanie grew up measuring her life in countdowns: 1914, Armageddon, obedience, and survival. Although she physically left the organization in 1998, the fear never left her. It wasn’t until February 19, 2025, nearly three decades later, that something finally cracked. A single social media post. A forbidden word: apostate. And a question she’d never allowed herself to ask. In this episode, Stephanie joins Derek and Trent to share what it’s like to wake up late to realize at fifty years old that your anxiety, your lost opportunities, and your constant guilt were rooted in false prophecy and high-control belief. We talk about: Growing up under the shadow of the 1914 doctrine Being baptized as a minor and the weight of “spiritual contracts” Living physically out but mentally trapped for decades Fear-based obedience and the cost of delayed awakening Grief for a stolen childhood and the courage to reclaim what’s left This conversation is about what fear does to a human beings and what happens when it finally loosens its grip. If you’ve ever felt like it’s “too late” to wake up, this episode is for you.   Support cult.ture pod over on Patreon Follow us on Instagram and thanks for rating us 5 stars 🫶     Disclaimer:The views and experiences shared on cult.ture are personal and based on the lived experiences of the hosts and guests. This podcast is not intended to attack or defame any individual or religious organization or provide therapy. Our aim is to foster honest, empathetic conversations about high-control environments, belief systems, and personal journeys including the long road of healing, questioning, and reclaiming identity. Please be advised that some episodes may contain content that touches on religious trauma, coercive control, emotional or physical abuse, or other potentially triggering topics. We strive to approach these conversations with care, but we acknowledge that certain themes may be difficult to hear. Listener discretion is advised. If you or someone you know is experiencing distress related to these topics, we encourage seeking support from qualified mental health professionals, spiritual trauma-informed therapists, or trusted recovery communities. You are not alone.  
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  24-Put It on the Shelf: Mormonism, Control, and the Cost of Faith 17.01.2026 1h 5min

  In this episode, we sit down with Amy, who grew up deeply embedded in Mormonism as the daughter of a bishop and mission president. From early-morning seminary and strict behavioral rules to temple rituals that demand lifelong commitments without full consent, Amy shares what it was like to grow up inside a system that quietly governs every part of life from what you drink to how you think. Together, we explore Mormonism through the lens of high-control dynamics: obedience, gender hierarchy, secrecy, “putting doubts on the shelf,” and the emotional cost of being told that happiness comes later in the next life, the next kingdom, the next promise. Amy also speaks candidly about women’s roles in the church, LGBTQ+ exclusion, transactional spirituality, and the slow, painful process of deconstruction not as rebellion, but as self-trust. This episode is about recognizing when belief becomes control and what it takes to reclaim your voice after leaving a high-demand system.    Support cult.ture pod over on Patreon Follow us on Instagram and thanks for rating us 5 stars 🫶     Disclaimer:The views and experiences shared on cult.ture are personal and based on the lived experiences of the hosts and guests. This podcast is not intended to attack or defame any individual or religious organization or provide therapy. Our aim is to foster honest, empathetic conversations about high-control environments, belief systems, and personal journeys including the long road of healing, questioning, and reclaiming identity. Please be advised that some episodes may contain content that touches on religious trauma, coercive control, emotional or physical abuse, or other potentially triggering topics. We strive to approach these conversations with care, but we acknowledge that certain themes may be difficult to hear. Listener discretion is advised. If you or someone you know is experiencing distress related to these topics, we encourage seeking support from qualified mental health professionals, spiritual trauma-informed therapists, or trusted recovery communities. You are not alone.
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  23-Leo’s Conversation — The Body Keeps the Truth 03.01.2026 2h 33min

  Leo grew up Jehovah’s Witness in a home where abuse was happening and being ignored. In this conversation, Leo speaks about what it means to survive when harm is known, authority goes unquestioned, and silence is treated as righteousness. This episode explores: How religious authority can shield abusers What happens when elders “handle it internally” Dissociation, lost memory, and trauma held in the body EMDR therapy and what it means when healing brings truth back This is not a discussion of belief or doctrine.It’s an account of what happens when systems protect harm and the long, uneven work of surviving what was never acknowledged.   Support cult.ture pod over on Patreon Follow us on Instagram and thanks for rating us 5 stars 🫶   Disclaimer:The views and experiences shared on cult.ture are personal and based on the lived experiences of the hosts and guests. This podcast is not intended to attack or defame any individual or religious organization or provide therapy. Our aim is to foster honest, empathetic conversations about high-control environments, belief systems, and personal journeys including the long road of healing, questioning, and reclaiming identity. Please be advised that some episodes may contain content that touches on religious trauma, coercive control, emotional or physical abuse, or other potentially triggering topics. We strive to approach these conversations with care, but we acknowledge that certain themes may be difficult to hear. Listener discretion is advised. If you or someone you know is experiencing distress related to these topics, we encourage seeking support from qualified mental health professionals, spiritual trauma-informed therapists, or trusted recovery communities. You are not alone.
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  22-From Black-and-White to Color with Jamie 20.12.2025 1h 25min

  Jaime joins Derek and Trent to share what it was like growing up Jehovah’s Witness in a divided home never fully belonging in either world, and carrying fear long before she had words for it. Jaime talks about the slow unraveling: raising three kids inside the routine, living under constant self-monitoring, and realizing her children were afraid she might stop speaking to them if they didn’t believe. Even while she still believed, she reached a breaking point because a “paradise” that required leaving her family behind wasn’t love. Her awakening comes in an unexpected place: working in a preschool and teaching three-year-olds basic emotional boundaries, she realizes she’s learning at 39 what she was never allowed to learn. In the middle of a classroom she googles “signs you’re in a cult,” and everything clicks. Now, a few years out, Jaime shares what freedom has actually felt like: therapy, three birthdays, a more connected family life, and the quiet relief of watching a movie without guilt and no apology prayer afterward. She also names what still lingers: the stomach-drop moment of seeing Witnesses “in the wild,” and the echoes of fear that take time to unlearn. Jaime closes with the heart of this episode: her biggest fear came true and on the other side of it, life became better than she ever imagined.   Disclaimer:The views and experiences shared on cult.ture are personal and based on the lived experiences of the hosts and guests. This podcast is not intended to attack or defame any individual or religious organization or provide therapy. Our aim is to foster honest, empathetic conversations about high-control environments, belief systems, and personal journeys including the long road of healing, questioning, and reclaiming identity. Please be advised that some episodes may contain content that touches on religious trauma, coercive control, emotional or physical abuse, or other potentially triggering topics. We strive to approach these conversations with care, but we acknowledge that certain themes may be difficult to hear. Listener discretion is advised. If you or someone you know is experiencing distress related to these topics, we encourage seeking support from qualified mental health professionals, spiritual trauma-informed therapists, or trusted recovery communities. You are not alone.
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  21-Devan's Story: What Survives After the World Doesn’t End 06.12.2025 1h 34min

  In today’s episode of cult.ture, Derek and Trinity sit down with Devan, someone who wasn’t raised in the Jehovah’s Witnesses Faith, but still grew up inside a high-control Christian system that shaped every corner of his childhood. Devan’s early years took place deep in the Oregon woods at an isolated fundamentalist Baptist camp, where his father ran the ministry and his family lived off the land. He was homeschooled, cut off from the world, sleeping above bins of stored grain while his parents prepped for the rapture.As a child he watched end-times films of Christians being executed by guillotine for refusing the mark of the beast, the kind of imagery meant to terrify adults, but handed straight to kids. Love was talked about from the pulpit, but at home it looked like punishment, emotional distance, and an authority that didn’t allow mistakes. As Devan grows older, his world expands: Bible school in England, drifting through hostels in Israel, discovering Christian communities that weren’t ruled by fear. Then the grunge culture of the 90s and a place where he felt both freedom and an easy slide into numbing. A rushed first marriage. Secret drinking. A second marriage he tried desperately to hold together. Shame, guilt, and the feeling that he was constantly performing a version of himself he never chose. Everything shatters in 2012 when Devan, drunk and hopeless, finds himself at the center of a police standoff with 17 officers, a K-9 unit, and a loaded gun. On the pavement, shoulder broken, he prays a single sentence: “God, if you’re real, show me who you are, not who I’ve made you to be.” That moment becomes the beginning of a life rebuilt from the ground up. In this conversation, we talk about: Growing up under fear-based Christianity Being raised for the apocalypse instead of adulthood Isolation, shame, and the rubber-band effect of suppression → rebellion Addiction as a survival strategy when you were never taught to cope The day everything broke and the grace that came after What faith can look like beyond fear, ego, and control And the quiet power of choosing your own life for the first time Whether you’re inside a high-control religion, slowly peeling away, years into healing, or trying to understand someone you love there’s room for you here.   Support cult.ture pod over on Patreon Follow us on Instagram and thanks for rating us 5 stars 🫶     Disclaimer:The views and experiences shared on cult.ture are personal and based on the lived experiences of the hosts and guests. This podcast is not intended to attack or defame any individual or religious organization or provide therapy. Our aim is to foster honest, empathetic conversations about high-control environments, belief systems, and personal journeys including the long road of healing, questioning, and reclaiming identity. Please be advised that some episodes may contain content that touches on religious trauma, coercive control, emotional or physical abuse, or other potentially triggering topics. We strive to approach these conversations with care, but we acknowledge that certain themes may be difficult to hear. Listener discretion is advised. If you or someone you know is experiencing distress related to these topics, we encourage seeking support from qualified mental health professionals, spiritual trauma-informed therapists, or trusted recovery communities. You are not alone.
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  20-Agency, At Last: Abby’s Exit From Control 22.11.2025 2h 20min

  Abby’s story moves from love-bombing and baptized hope to grief, coercive control, boundaries, and finally freedom and family. She shares how vulnerability was targeted, why she pursued baptism after trauma, and the cost of “paper-thin comfort” in a doomsday framework. We talk stalking elders, weaponized “good example” theology, and the moment she chose safety over image. Abby also remembers her brother Elijah and how losing him during COVID cracked the last pieces of belief and the wild grace of her son being born on Elijah’s birthday. This one sits with grief, names misogyny, and celebrates reclamation: choosing the present over paradise, boundaries over guilt, and a life she built herself. Themes: religious trauma, love-bombing, coercive control, shunning, boundaries, grief, rebuilding, chosen family, parenting after high-control groups   Support cult.ture pod over on Patreon Follow us on Instagram and thanks for rating us 5 stars 🫶   Disclaimer:The views and experiences shared on cult.ture are personal and based on the lived experiences of the hosts and guests. This podcast is not intended to attack or defame any individual or religious organization or provide therapy. Our aim is to foster honest, empathetic conversations about high-control environments, belief systems, and personal journeys including the long road of healing, questioning, and reclaiming identity. Please be advised that some episodes may contain content that touches on religious trauma, coercive control, emotional or physical abuse, or other potentially triggering topics. We strive to approach these conversations with care, but we acknowledge that certain themes may be difficult to hear. Listener discretion is advised. If you or someone you know is experiencing distress related to these topics, we encourage seeking support from qualified mental health professionals, spiritual trauma-informed therapists, or trusted recovery communities. You are not alone.
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  19-Above Water: Freedom, Friction, and Finding Your Compass - Dustin Returns 01.11.2025 1h 33min

  Content note: Mentions religious trauma, suicide, and substance use. In the U.S., dial or text 988 for support. Derek and Trinity welcome back Dustin Jetmore for a raw check-in since disassociating from Jehovah’s Witnesses (letter July 4, announcement July 10). We revisit the 2019 Love Never Fails convention, Derek’s last through the moment the veil lifts: choreographed “love,” scripted routes, even restroom control. Derek also shares the day his dad survived a heart event in the stands thanks to a wearable defibrillator vest. Then, life on the surface: “You’re a natural human, you break at natural points, then get reprimanded for it.” Trinity’s metaphor: waking up is breaking the ocean and hitting sunlight then learning to breathe there. Take it back: head high on your own street even when a neighbor invites Janelle to a Sunday talk (and likely counts time). Shunning in a tiny bagel shop (including Dustin’s 13-year-old). Roles after leaving: from hierarchy to partnership; how the head-of-household script breeds chauvinism—and why some narcissists thrived in it. Therapy, triggers, and grounding: meditation/yoga (once “demonic”) now tools—plus the reality that not every tool fits every brain. Mental overload: the spiral of over-processing, decision-fatigue, and learning when to simply shut the brain off without numbing out. Trinity’s sobriety note: sober since April 21, 2023 and learning to live with an always-on mind without alcohol. Firsts without guilt: horror movies, pluralism (10k+ gods; belief shaped by where/when you’re born), and choosing your own lane with an internal compass. After the shock: the candy-room phase (no rules!) → balance and cycles/lulls after a big life high. Shrinking support networks, learning to voice pain, and asking for help. Looking ahead: a 25th anniversary as “free folk,” curiosity as fuel, and the permission to reassess every parameter of life. Support cult.ture pod over on Patreon Follow us on Instagram and thanks for rating us 5 stars 🫶     Disclaimer:The views and experiences shared on cult.ture are personal and based on the lived experiences of the hosts and guests. This podcast is not intended to attack or defame any individual or religious organization or provide therapy. Our aim is to foster honest, empathetic conversations about high-control environments, belief systems, and personal journeys including the long road of healing, questioning, and reclaiming identity. Please be advised that some episodes may contain content that touches on religious trauma, coercive control, emotional or physical abuse, or other potentially triggering topics. We strive to approach these conversations with care, but we acknowledge that certain themes may be difficult to hear. Listener discretion is advised. If you or someone you know is experiencing distress related to these topics, we encourage seeking support from qualified mental health professionals, spiritual trauma-informed therapists, or trusted recovery communities. You are not alone.