Help for Loving Relationships

Episoade

• Summer Break & 3 Day Trauma Intensive launching fall 2026 25.06.2026 21min

  Send us Fan Mail In this episode, I share the vision behind a new 3-Day Trauma Healing Intensive designed to help people move beyond simply understanding their past and begin experiencing genuine healing. Drawing from the work of Troy Love's Finding Peace, Pia Mellody's Post-Induction Therapy (PIT), and Gabor Maté's Compassionate Inquiry, I describe how these three complementary approaches work together to help participants identify childhood wounds, understand the beliefs that grew from thos...
• Why Men Struggle to Heal from Betrayal—and How They Can 11.06.2026 38min

  Send us Fan Mail When infidelity and betrayal are discussed, the experiences of men are often overlooked. In this episode, Adam Nisenson sheds light on the unique challenges faced by men who have been betrayed by a partner, exploring the stigma, shame, and societal expectations that often keep them silent and unsupported. Adam introduces the concept of Masculine Betrayal Trauma (MBT) and walks listeners through the 7 Stages of recovery, helping men better understand their emotional journey an...
• The Empathetic Warrior: Helping Men Show Up After Betrayal 19.04.2026 40min

  Send us Fan Mail In this powerful conversation, recovery coach Tryan Stutes unpacks what he calls the “gap” in betrayal recovery—the often overlooked space between a man’s personal recovery and his partner’s healing process. While many men have access to structured resources like SAA, sponsors, and intensives, their partners are often left navigating deep emotional pain with fewer supports. Tryan shares how his work focuses on helping men develop true empathy, step out of defensiveness, and b...
• April Fools Takeover: Lisa Eliason takes over the Mic 01.04.2026 46min

  Send us Fan Mail In this special April Fools episode, the script gets flipped as Lisa Eliason takes over the mic and puts Shane in the hot seat. What starts as a lighthearted role reversal quickly turns into a meaningful and honest conversation about the heart of Shane’s work—helping couples navigate betrayal, rebuild trust, and create deeper emotional connection. From the realities of working with sexual addiction and relationship trauma to what really happens in those first raw sessions aft...
• Anatomy of Emotional Intimacy 24.02.2026 16min

  Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Shane shares how emotional intimacy grows through the attachment lens of accessibility, reliability, and emotional engagement, inspired by Sue Johnson’s ARE model. He explores the powerful idea that intimacy means “In-To-Me-I-See,” inviting couples, friends, and family members to move beyond surface conversations and courageously share their inner emotional world. Listeners will learn practical ways to deepen connection through slowing down conversations, spe...
• Anatomy of Sexual Intimacy 17.02.2026 1h 4min

  Send us Fan Mail In this episode, I sit down with sex therapist Dr. Lisa Elieson to explore how sexuality is far more than a physical act — it’s an expression of self and a creative language of love within marriage. Dr. Elieson shares how she integrates art into therapy to help couples better understand their sexual identity, emotional connection, and the deeper meaning behind intimacy. Together, we discuss how anxiety impacts sexual arousal, the different ways it tends to manifest for men an...
• Book Review: Cultivating Love 23.01.2026 51min

  Send us Fan Mail In this episode, we review Cultivating Love: Wisdom for Life by Ken McGill, a practical and compassionate guide to growing wisdom and love throughout life. Drawing from psychology, theology, and neurobiology, McGill explores how wisdom can become compromised by trauma and maladaptive coping, and how it can be recalibrated through self-awareness, reparenting, and intentional growth. The book offers concrete tools for healing, strengthening self-love, and developing healthy adu...
• 2026 Theme: Love 13.01.2026 20min

  Send us Fan Mail Welcome to 2026! We’re exploring this year’s theme—Love—what helps it grow and what causes it to fade. Drawing from relationship research, psychology, and spiritual wisdom, we highlight key qualities that strengthen love toward self and others—such as emotional availability, compassion, healthy boundaries, gratitude, accountability, and repair. We also discuss common habits that diminish love, including criticism, avoidance, shame, defensiveness, and neglect of personal needs...
• Good Bye 2025; Hello 2026 03.01.2026 21min

  Send us Fan Mail In this solo episode, Shane recaps the standout moments from the year on the Help for Loving Relationships Show. From exploring the foundations of a happy life to learning about empathy, anxiety, and trauma recovery, he highlights insights from guests like Stevie Hall, Jeremy Edge, and the inspiring story of Heidi and Alex’s journey from pain to renewed connection. Shane also shares updates on trauma-healing resources, including the Green Shoe intensive and his new certificat...
• Healing from sexual betrayal Matt & Joanna Raabsmith 17.12.2025 38min

  Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Matt and Joanna Raabsmith share how their Intimacy Pyramid helps couples heal from sexual betrayal by starting with honesty and emotional safety before moving toward deeper vulnerability and intimacy. They discuss the importance of slowing down, doing individual work to stay regulated, and learning how betrayers can respond to their partner’s trauma with humility instead of defensiveness. Matt and Joanna also offer guidance for being proactive in recovery, re...
• Reignite the Connection: How “Hold Me Tight” Workshop Transforms Relationships 21.11.2025 25min

  Send us Fan Mail Do you ever wonder why the same arguments keep surfacing in your relationship—or why it’s so hard to feel truly heard and understood? In this episode, we explore the Hold Me Tight® Couples Workshop, a powerful, science-backed experience based on Dr. Sue Johnson’s Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). You’ll hear how couples learn to slow down conflict, express deeper needs, and rebuild trust through forgiveness and compassion. Whether you’re struggling with communication, distan...
• Healing the Brain, Healing the Soul 11.11.2025 37min

  Send us Fan Mail In this inspiring episode, we explore the fascinating intersection of brain health and personal transformation. Our guest Lisa Marie Shaughnessy shares her journey from a successful career in radio to a life redefined by self-discovery, neuroscience, and long-distance pilgrimage. From the Amen Clinic’s cutting-edge use of brain scans in mental health to her powerful experience walking the Camino de Santiago, Lisa uncovers what it truly means to cultivate happiness—from the in...
• Summer Break 2025 24.06.2025 7min

  Send us Fan Mail In this episode, we review highlights of 2025 and look forward to final 3 months of 2025 when we return Oct- Dec. We are looking for theme ideas for 2026. Maybe it will be "Resiliency". Other thoughts....? Enjoy your Summer!
• Heidi & Alex: Heartache to Happiness 21.06.2025 31min

  Send us Fan Mail Tune in to hear the inspiring story of a couple who overcame the crippling challenges of depression and behavior that threatened their marriage. Heidi and Alex are courageous and vulnerable to share their story. It details how they met, the periods of heartache, the turning points of growth, the lessons learned, and the joy and connection they now enjoy. We hope this episode inspires you to take the necessary steps to improve and strengthen your loving relationsh...
• Empowering Women in Relationships 24.05.2025 58min

  Send us Fan Mail What holds women back in relationships? Therapist Anita Sandoval and Shane cover topics including The reflex to people please, and how this can be harmful long-termGuilt and cultural expectations that trap women in self-sacrificing rolesThe signs of betrayal trauma and how it hijacks the nervous systemWhat “duty sex” reveals about emotional disconnection. More fulfilling sex happens when both choose to be sexual and it is meaningful & connectingThe warning signs of ...
• Impacts of Unresolved Trauma 15.05.2025 36min

  Send us Fan Mail Shane reviews the literature on trauma as well as shares observations from his 30 years as counselor and from his personal work of healing to share some markers that would indicate that you may be struggling with unresolved Trauma 1) He reviews trauma's trauma's impact on physical health and especially the nervous system 2) He details how truams is related to mood disorders such as depression and anxiety as well as addictions 3) He review how Trauma can have impact on your pe...
• High-achieving Men and Addiction 22.04.2025 51min

  Send us Fan Mail We know addiction gets in the way of happiness and relationships, but why is recovery so difficult for high-achieving men? Professional coach Roland Cochrun shares his insights and the realization that making real connections (and discovering your purpose in life) are essential. He is the founder of The Successful Addict recovery group, The Sex Addiction podcast, and author of The High Achiever's Guide to Sex-Addiction Recovery.
• Healing Generational Trauma & People-Pleasing 19.04.2025 53min

  Send us Fan Mail What do you do when you didn't receive comfort consistently while growing up? You look for other ways to receive it. That can lead to unhealthy habits that damage relationships even when they give good feelings. Therapist Anita Sandoval & Shane discuss the Still Face Experiment demonstrated on YouTube, trauma treatments, and how re-parenting yourself helps you show up better in romantic relationships. Anita specializes in helping women in failed relationships become...
• Finding Peace Retreat—My Journey 25.03.2025 30min

  Send us Fan Mail What is an intensive therapy retreat like? What benefits does it have over doing a therapy workbook or individual counseling? Shane gives his personal experience of the retreat coming up this fall near Lake Texoma that is designed to help people dig deep into themselves, discover the attachment wounds and negative core beliefs that are holding them back, and re-establish their inner serenity.
• Swimming through the Blue Trench 07.03.2025 46min

  Send us Fan Mail One of the scariest scenes in Finding Nemo was when Dory & Merlin swam through the blue trench—being afraid and vulnerable out in the open ocean. Men's coach Bob Smith shares his experiences personally and professionally in how doing that—feeling and accepting negative emotions including vulnerability—opens up individual happiness and leads the way to more connection in relationships. "When we actually do go to that place of 'this is who I am,' I embrace all of it—the lig...