Real Adult Wisdom-Live In Confidence

Episoade

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  I have to Keep Everyone Happy 12.08.2026 16min

  Do you feel responsible for keeping everyone happy—even when it costs you your own peace? In this episode of Real Adult Wisdom, we uncover the hidden “should” behind people-pleasing, why we fear disappointing others, and how to set healthier boundaries. With honest conversation, a little humor, and practical Becky Tools, you’ll learn that you can care about people’s feelings without taking full responsibility for them.
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  I Should Be Over It By Now 23.07.2026 12min

  How many times have you told yourself, "I should be over this by now?"Whether it's the pain of a breakup, the loss of a loved one, childhood trauma, betrayal, a dream that didn't work out, or simply the life you thought you'd have, many of us place unrealistic deadlines on our healing.In this episode of Words That Keep Us Stuck, Becky Shaffer explores why healing isn't measured by time—it's measured by growth. You'll discover how the word "should" keeps us trapped in guilt and shame, why comparison makes healing even harder, and how to replace self-judgment with self-compassion.As always, Becky shares practical tools and a Live in Confidence Toolkit to help you challenge limiting beliefs, embrace your own healing journey, and take one confident step forward.
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  I Should Be Further Along 14.07.2026 28min

  In this episode of Real Adult Wisdom, Becky Shaffer explores the invisible timelines we create around money, relationships, purpose, healing, and success. She shares her own experience of moving her entire life at 50 and learning that starting over does not mean starting behind.You’ll also walk away with the Timeline Audit, a simple tool to help you stop measuring your life against someone else’s journey and recognize what progress looks like for you now.You are not behind. You are living a life that could never be measured by someone else’s timeline.
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  Stop Shoulding Yourself 11.07.2026 30min

  Stop Shoulding Yourself. Words That Keep Us Stuck: The “Should” SeriesHow often do you catch yourself saying, “I should have known better,” “I should be further along,” or “I should say yes”—even when something inside you is telling you no?In this episode of Real Adult Wisdom, Becky Shaffer explores the emotional weight behind the words “I should” and “I should have.” Sometimes these phrases point to a genuine responsibility. Other times, they are rooted in regret, shame, comparison, fear, or expectations that never truly belonged to us.Becky breaks down the important difference between taking responsibility and punishing ourselves:Responsibility helps us grow. Shame keeps us looking backward.You will learn how to recognize whether a “should” is coming from your own values or someone else’s expectations, how hindsight can distort the way you judge past decisions, and how to replace self-criticism with honest, compassionate accountability.This episode also includes practical tools to help you:Identify the hidden belief behind your “shoulds”Separate responsibility from shameReframe regret into a usable lessonRecognize the difference between growth and self-abandonmentMake decisions based on your values rather than guilt or approvalMove from “I should have” to “Knowing what I know now, I choose…”You cannot change what you knew then, but you can decide what you do with what you know now.Keep the lesson. Make the repair. Release the punishment.This episode is inspired by themes from Becky’s book, The Why Not Me? Concept, and is part of the new Words That Keep Us Stuck series.
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  Nobody Prepares You for Life 2.0 26.04.2026 27min

  In Episode 1 of the Life 2.0 series, Becky Shaffer opens the door to the honest, raw, and deeply human experience of starting over in midlife. This episode is not about having it all figured out. It is about what happens when the life you built shifts, the roles you played begin to fall away, and you are left asking, “Who am I now?”Through empty nesting, heartbreak, loss, healing, and reinvention, Becky connects the heart of Life 2.0 with the message behind her book, The Why Not Me? Concept: that starting over is not failure. It may be the first time you are finally choosing yourself.This episode is for the woman who has survived, adjusted, carried, rebuilt, and kept going — but now feels called to live differently.
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  The Conditioning of Nice: Why Women Struggle to Advocate for Themselves 12.03.2026 36min

  Becky Shaffer, author of The Why Not Me? Concept and Solari, author of The Sacred Undoing, bring raw, honest conversations to the podcast as they sit down with guest Paula Mathias, author of Speak Up. Together, they unpack why so many women struggle to advocate for themselves, the conditioning that keeps women silent, and the powerful steps women can take to reclaim their voice in their careers, relationships, and lives.To get more information on Paula: website:paulamathias.com IG and TikTok: @Paulamathiasauthor Speak Up book: https://a.co/d/ied9FJR
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  Real Change Starts in the Brain 24.02.2026 46min

  In this episode of Real Adult Wisdom, we’re talking about what actually has to shift neurologically before your habits, boundaries, confidence, and clarity can shift in real life.Dr. Lisa Riegel has spent over two decades studying how the brain drives behavior, and more importantly, how we can work with it instead of constantly fighting against it.She’s an educator, researcher, author, and someone who deeply understands that fulfillment, whether in a classroom, a workplace, or a relationship. Her information can be found at: www.lisariegel.comAlso, all podcasts, blogs, and to order "The Why Not Me? Concept," you can go to www.liveinconfidence.com for all of Becky's information.
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  When Your Living Environment Doesn't Match Who You Are Becoming. 10.02.2026 37min

  We are excited to have Kim Costa, AS FEATURED on HGTV, ABC, Atlanta Magazine, and Opeal, join our show. Growth isn’t just about mindset; it’s about alignment. When your living environment doesn’t match who you’re becoming, your body feels it first. On Real Adult Wisdom, we’re exploring how aligning your space, routines, and daily life with your soul creates real, sustainable change—not just motivation.
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  What Reading Cards Really Means 27.01.2026 38min

  “What if card reading wasn’t magic—but a mirror? On Real Adult Wisdom, we explore tarot, intuition, and personal growth in a real, grounded way. No hype. Just reflection, awareness, and the courage to ask better questions. Tune in.”
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  One Size Doesn’t Fit All: An Honest Conversation About Education 06.01.2026 46min

  In this episode of Real Adult Wisdom, we sit down with Dr. Lee for a thoughtful discussion on education, systems, and student-centered learning. Drawing from lived experience and professional insight, the conversation explores how education can better recognize diverse pathways, support real-world readiness, and respond to the needs of students, families, and educators. While perspectives may differ on specific approaches, this episode is grounded in respectful dialogue, curiosity, and a shared commitment to improving outcomes for those within the education system.
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  New Year's Resolutions: Why you shouldn't set them, and why you should 31.12.2025 38min

  When change is rooted in self-rejection, it becomes a form of punishment rather than growth. Growth that starts in shame rarely lasts. (And Why Shame Is a Terrible Life Coach) Let’s start with a hard truth:Most people don’t fail at change because they lack discipline. They fail because they try to build a better life on top of self-rejection. And self-rejection is not a strong foundation. It’s quicksand…Every January, the same ritual plays out. We declare war on parts of ourselves.
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  Transformation, Courage, and Becoming who you were always meant to be. 28.12.2025 36min

  This episode of Real Adult Wisdom is not about overnight success or perfectly packaged stories. Becky Shaffer and Deborah Yager come together to speak candidly about where they began, what they endured, and how they built their lives one piece at a time. There were doubts, detours, setbacks, and moments when quitting would have been easier—but they didn’t. They are self-made, but not untouched by struggle. This conversation goes beneath titles and accomplishments and into the real work of becoming: choosing yourself, rebuilding after loss, pushing forward without certainty, and learning to trust your own voice when no one else is cheering yet. If you’ve ever wondered whether your past disqualifies you from the life you want, this episode is for you.
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  Stories That Changed Us. 23.12.2025 37min

  Tonight feels special. I’m sitting down with Scott Neff, and together we’re talking openly about what it really takes to write a book—the fear, the healing, the courage, and the moments that cracked us open. This isn’t just about the pages we wrote. It’s about the lives we lived to write them.
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  Life In One Shott 18.12.2025 38min

  Jen Hendershott, world champion athlete, coach, and now author — "Life In One Shott", bringing raw honesty, resilience, and real-life wisdom. Becky Shaffer, educator, coach, podcast host, founder of www.liveinconfidence.com, and author of "The Why Not Me? Concept", a transformative book on healing, worthiness, and reinvention. Together, they sit down to talk about what it means to grow up in a small town with big dreams, how life’s hardest seasons shaped their purpose, why healing, identity, and reinvention matter now more than ever, and how two women from one hometown became two voices of hope for anyone craving a new chapter isn’t just a conversation. It’s a collision of courage, lived experience, and truth.
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  Why Holidays Hit Hard After Life Changes 16.12.2025 41min

  We all know the script: Holidays are supposed to feel warm, familiar, and comforting. We see it on the Hallmark movies, we hear it in the carols. But what happens when that script no longer matches your reality? Perhaps your life has undergone a significant change—a divorce, a profound loss, a major relocation, or an unexpected shift in identity. When that happens, the holidays no longer feel like a cozy blanket. They can feel like grief wrapped in glitter. Tonight, we are tackling this head-on: Nothing is wrong with you if the holidays don't feel the same anymore. In fact, that's completely normal."
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  How to Navigate Endings and Reinvention Seasons 09.12.2025 41min

  Endings have a way of shaking everything we thought we knew about ourselves—our roles, relationships, routines, and identity. In this episode, Becky Shaffer dives into the emotional and psychological terrain of reinvention seasons—those in-between chapters when who you were no longer fits, and who you are becoming isn’t fully clear yet.We explore what it really means when:An identity endsA role dissolvesA relationship shiftsA version of you expiresIf you’ve been feeling unsteady, disconnected, or unsure of your next step, you’re not broken—you’re in a transition.This episode offers:✨ A grounded understanding of why reinvention feels so destabilizing✨ The hidden grief inside life changes✨ How to release who you were without losing who you are✨ A practical tool to help you move through endings with clarity instead of collapseThis is for the one who’s asking, “Who am I now?”And learning how to answer with courage.
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  Holiday Grief & The Spaces No One Talks About 02.12.2025 41min

  The holidays can feel magical… but they can also magnify the cracks we work so hard to hide.Grief doesn’t just come from loss through death — it shows up in endings, distance, changed traditions, kids growing up, and the versions of ourselves we had to let go.Tonight, we’re talking about the hidden spaces of holiday grief — the ones no one warns you about but so many of us live through.If this season feels heavy, layered, or complicated… you are not alone.
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  The Rise and Rewrite Series: Why so many driven people are secretly suffering 25.11.2025 40min

  Ambition can be a coping mechanism. Many of us were taught to achieve our way into worthiness, to produce our way into safety. So we become leaders, healers, entrepreneurs, top students—pushing ourselves to excel while abandoning our own bodies and inner child in the process. Beneath the applause is often anxiety, emotional exhaustion, loneliness, and a deep longing to be seen beyond what we do. We've learned that suffering doesn’t always look like struggle—it can look like success. And our work invites people to finally exhale, feel again, and begin the sacred undoing of everything they thought they had to be.
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  Why Not Me: Pain, Purpose, and Pete Colter 20.11.2025 26min

  In this deeply honest episode of Real Adult Wisdom, Becky sits down with author Pete Colter for a raw and unfiltered conversation about mental illness, survival, and the art of turning suffering into story.Pete opens up about his lifelong battles with manic depression, the surgeries that shaped his childhood, and the trauma that nearly broke him — and how writing became both his refuge and his revolution. Together, Becky and Pete explore the moment where survival shifts into healing, and where the question “Why me?” slowly becomes “Why not me?”If you’ve ever struggled with mental health, identity, or the weight of your own past… this episode will remind you that you’re not alone, your story matters, and your voice deserves to be heard.Tune in for truth. Stay for transformation.
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  Identity Shattering Initiation- Unapologetically You (2) 18.11.2025 45min

  Tonight on Real Adult Wisdom: SOLARI and I continue The Rise & Rewrite Series with a powerful conversation on Identity Shattering as Initiation. We’re talking about the moments that break us open—burnout, betrayal, illness, divorce, or spiritual awakening—and how they become the doorway into who we’re meant to be.If you’ve ever felt your life fall apart so something truer could begin, this episode is for you.