Cleave: The Podcast

Episoade

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  Episode 61. The Emperor’s New Clothes: When a Family Is More Committed to the Image Than the Truth 15.08.2026 18min

  What happens when a family becomes more committed to protecting its image than confronting the truth?The Emperor’s New Clothes was written nearly 200 years ago, but it may be one of the most powerful illustrations of an unhealthy family system.Everyone can see what’s happening.Everyone participates in the illusion.And then one person finally says what nobody else is willing to say.Suddenly, the problem isn’t the emperor anymore.The problem becomes the person who pointed it out.In this episode of Cleave Answers, Jon explores what this classic story can teach us about dysfunctional family systems, image management, enabling, conformity, scapegoating, boundaries, and the difficult role of the family truth-teller or cycle breaker.Why do people go along with behavior they privately recognize as unhealthy? Why can naming dysfunction feel more threatening to a family system than the dysfunction itself? And what happens when you finally stop trying to convince everyone else to see what you see?We also explore an important caution for cycle breakers: healing isn’t about exposing, humiliating, or endlessly trying to prove that you were right.Sometimes healing is much quieter.You don’t have to attack the emperor. You can simply stop applauding the clothes.If you’ve ever wondered why telling the truth seemed to make you the problem, this episode is for you.
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  Episode 60. Father’s Day Hurts: Grief, Father Wounds, and the Legacy of Good Men 19.06.2026 39min

  Father’s Day can bring up a lot more than celebration.For some, it brings gratitude. For others, it brings grief, longing, anger, regret, or the ache of a relationship that is not what it should have been.In this episode, Jon shares a deeply personal reflection on fatherhood, grief, generational legacy, and the kind of man he is striving to become. He talks about losing his own father to brain cancer, the grief that still lives in the body, the stories of the men who came before him, and the painful reality that some people grieve fathers who are still alive because of estrangement, pride, broken trust, or emotional harm. This episode is about the legacy good fathers leave behind — not money, image, status, or worldly success, but presence, integrity, humility, repentance, protection, faith, and love.It is also for anyone who is trying to become healthier than the family system they came from.Whether you are grieving a father who has passed away, grieving a father who is still living, navigating estrangement, trying to heal a father wound, or simply wanting to become a more Christlike parent, this conversation is an invitation to reflect on what really matters.Good fathers do not have to be perfect.But they should be willing to tell the truth, own their mistakes, honor their families, and choose integrity over image.Learn more from Jon and Ashley at Leave Then Cleave.👇 Start here:📖 Get a free chapter of Christlike Boundaries:https://www.leavethencleave.com/christlike-boundaries-free-chapter📖 Get a free chapter of Leave Then Cleave:https://www.leavethencleave.com/free-chapter🎙️ Listen to Cleave: The Podcast:Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/cleave-the-podcast/id1727634410Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4n4moys6tyb5hrmkbkkk3o?si=a0611fc0c69a42c4💬 Need help navigating family pressure, estrangement, boundaries, or reconciliation?Learn more about Clarity Conversations here:https://www.leavethencleave.com/clarifyingconversations📚 Books by Jon & Ashley:Christlike Boundaries: https://a.co/d/0j8P1FuJLeave Then Cleave: https://a.co/d/07Avn2OfSubscribe for more conversations on Christian boundaries, family systems, emotional safety, marriage, estrangement, grief, and healing.#FathersDay #Fatherhood #Grief #ChristianBoundaries #FamilyEstrangement #FatherWound #Legacy #ChristianFamily #MarriageAndFamily #EmotionalHealing
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  Episode 59. Q&A Part 2 | Reconciliation Without Accountability? 08.06.2026 31min

  DescriptionCan reconciliation happen if someone refuses to acknowledge what they did?In Part 2 of this Q&A conversation, we talk about what reconnecting should look like after no contact, especially when the other person refuses to admit wrongdoing or take accountability.We also address the belief that family estrangement is always caused by Satan or evil forces trying to destroy families — and why that idea can sometimes be used to pressure people back into unhealthy systems.In this episode, we discuss reconciliation, accountability, forgiveness, family estrangement, spiritual manipulation, red flags, green flags, and how to seek God with real intent.If you missed Part 1, we recommend starting there first.Join us for the Christlike Boundaries Workshop on June 30th:Get Christlike Boundaries on Amazon. Or... read the first chapter for FREE. Click here.
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  Episode 58. Q&A Part 1 | Honoring Parents Without Enabling Dysfunction 05.06.2026 31min

  DescriptionWhat does it really mean to honor your parents as an adult — especially when the relationship has become painful, controlling, or unhealthy?In Part 1 of this Q&A conversation, we talk about the difference between childhood obedience and adult honor, why boundaries are not dishonor, and how to navigate family relationships when peace requires truth.We also answer a tender question: What do you do when parents who have gone no contact suddenly want to reconnect after finding out you’re pregnant?In this episode, we discuss honoring parents, family dysfunction, boundaries, no contact, reconnection, protecting your marriage, and what healthy rebuilding should actually look like.Join us for the Christlike Boundaries Workshop on June 30thGet Christlike Boundaries on Amazon. or download the first chapter for FREE! Click here.
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  Episode 57. We Don’t Talk About Bruno: Encanto, Family Trauma & The Scapegoat Story 27.05.2026 56min

  Was Encanto really about magic… or was it about family trauma?In this episode of Leave Then Cleave, Jon and Ashley unpack Disney’s Encanto through the lens of family systems, generational trauma, scapegoating, emotional roles, truth-telling, and healing.Why did We Don’t Talk About Bruno resonate with so many people?Why did Mirabel feel so familiar to those raised in emotionally complicated families?And what happens when one person in the family starts noticing the “cracks” everyone else wants to ignore?Together, we explore:• Abuela and generational trauma — how unhealed pain becomes family culture• Mirabel as the truth teller — and why truth tellers often become scapegoats• Bruno and estrangement — why families sometimes exile the person who sees too much• Luisa, parentification & pressure — the burden of being “the strong one”• Isabella and perfectionism — the hidden pain of the golden child• Family homeostasis — why systems resist change, even when they’re hurting people• Healing after dysfunction — what Encanto surprisingly gets right about repairIf you’ve ever felt like the one who saw the cracks… the one asking hard questions… or the one who became “the problem” for telling the truth, this episode is for you.Topics discussed:Family trauma, family systems theory, scapegoat child, emotional immaturity, toxic family dynamics, Christian healing, estrangement, truth tellers, parentification, golden child dynamics, boundaries, generational healing, emotional health, Encanto explained.📘 Grab our new book, Christlike Boundaries and more on on our website www.leavethencleave.com🎙️ Subscribe to Leave Then Cleave for honest conversations on faith, family systems, boundaries, healing, marriage, and emotional health.We are so grateful you are here! Also find us on social @leave_then_cleave (instagram, tiktok and facebook!)
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  Episode 56. Love Is Not Compliance: The First Truth of Christlike Boundaries 19.05.2026 29min

  For many Christians, the hardest part of setting a boundary is not the boundary itself.It is the guilt.The fear that saying no means you are selfish.The fear that needing space means you are unforgiving.The fear that limiting access means you are dishonoring your family.The fear that protecting your marriage, your home, your peace, or your children somehow means you are failing to love like Jesus.That is exactly why we wrote Christlike Boundaries.In this special episode, Jon reads the introduction and Chapter 1 of Christlike Boundaries, the new book from Jon and Ashley Lefrandt. Chapter 1, “Love Is Not Compliance,” begins with the core truth every Christian needs before they can understand boundaries clearly: love is not proven by endless availability, emotional over-responsibility, or keeping everyone comfortable. Jesus was perfectly loving, but He was not compliant. He was merciful, but He was not manipulated. He was peaceful, but He did not preserve false peace. He was full of grace and truth.If you have ever wondered, “Can I set boundaries and still be Christlike?” this episode — and this book — were created for you.Buy Christlike Boundaries on Amazon.Listen, reflect, and ask yourself:Where have I mistaken compliance for love?For more resources and to stay connected, check out our Website: www.leavethencleave.com or find us on Instagram, Tiktok and Facebook @leave_then_cleave !
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  55. How to Recognize the Fruits of True Repentance 12.05.2026 39min

  How can you tell if someone has truly repented?In this episode of Leave Then Cleave, Jon and Ashley talk about one of the most confusing dynamics in faith-based families: when someone claims repentance but refuses accountability, repair, or honest conversation about the harm they caused.Using Christ’s teaching that “by their fruits ye shall know them,” they explore the difference between true repentance and counterfeit repentance, godly sorrow and image management, discernment and judgment, forgiveness and restored trust.This conversation is not about becoming the judge of someone’s soul. It is about learning to recognize fruit: humility, confession, restitution, changed behavior, concern for those harmed, and a willingness to become safe.For anyone who has been told, “I already repented, so you need to move on,” or “That is between me and God,” this episode offers language, clarity, and a Christ-centered framework for discerning whether repentance has actually produced change.Learn more at leavethencleave.com.
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  54. When They Won’t Change | Forgiveness, Reconciliation, and Christlike Boundaries 06.05.2026 51min

  This is Part 2 of our conversation with Rachel Wood on boundaries.In Part 1, we talked about why boundaries are not unchristlike, how people-pleasing can become a form of control, and why healthy love requires truth, agency, and self-respect.In Part 2, we move into one of the hardest questions many people face:What do you do when you are trying to get healthy, but the other person does not want accountability, honesty, repentance, or change?For many people of faith, this is where boundaries become deeply personal. We may understand the idea of boundaries in theory, but when it touches our family, our marriage, our loyalty, our guilt, or our desire to forgive, it can become incredibly difficult to know what is loving, what is wise, and what is safe.In this episode, we talk about forgiveness versus reconciliation, manipulation, spiritual pressure, addiction, accountability, discernment, and what it means to recognize fruit rather than simply trust words.Because forgiveness is a commandment.But reconciliation requires repentance, honesty, safety, and changed behavior.Those are not the same thing.If you have ever felt pressure to keep forgiving while harmful patterns continue, or wondered whether setting a boundary means you are failing to be Christlike, this conversation will help give language to what you may already be sensing.And if this topic feels personal right now, we invite you to join us for our May Healing Webinar Series, where we’ll continue walking through painful family dynamics, boundaries, estrangement, guilt, grief, spiritual pressure, and practical next steps for healing.You can learn more about the webinar series, our book Leave Then Cleave, and our other resources at leavethencleave.com.
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  53. Boundaries Are Not Unchristlike | Why Love Requires Truth, Agency, and Self-Respect 04.05.2026 1h 3min

  One of our most-listened-to conversations is back.This episode originally aired a couple of years ago, when our podcast had a different name and a much smaller audience. But as our community has grown, we realized that many of you have probably never heard this conversation before, and it continues to be one of the most important discussions we’ve ever had.In this episode, we are joined by our friend Rachel Wood for Part 1 of a two-part conversation on boundaries.For many people of faith, boundaries can feel uncomfortable. We may wonder if saying no is selfish, if self-advocacy is unkind, or if creating distance means we are failing to forgive.But healthy boundaries are not the opposite of Christlike love.They are often what make real love possible.In Part 1, we talk about what boundaries actually are, how people-pleasing can become a form of control, why resentment often reveals places where we have abandoned ourselves, and how faith, personal revelation, and emotional honesty can help us stop living from fear and start living in truth.We also explore family systems, attachment, sacrifice, self-betrayal, generational healing, and why loving God and others does not require losing yourself.Part 2 will continue this conversation with one of the hardest questions of all: what do you do when you are trying to get healthy, but the other person does not want accountability, honesty, or change?If this episode helps you, please share it with someone who may need language for what they are experiencing.Learn more about our book and resources at leavethencleave.com.
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  52. Boundaries Didn’t Ruin Our Life. They Gave It Back. 28.04.2026 48min

  If you are afraid that setting boundaries, going no contact, or disappointing your family will ruin your life, this episode is for you.Most conversations about boundaries focus on what they cost.The grief.The backlash.The loneliness.The fear of being misunderstood.The pain of relationships changing.But in this episode, Jon and Ashley talk about what boundaries can give back.After years of people pleasing, self-doubt, emotional exhaustion, and constantly managing other people’s perceptions, boundaries created space for something new: clarity, creativity, confidence, joy, self-discovery, and a deeper sense of God’s direction.Ashley shares how pickleball, gardening, and creating beauty in their home became part of her healing. Jon shares how boundaries gave him the courage to run for city council, speak vulnerably online, and help build a platform that has now reached millions of people.This conversation is for anyone who is afraid that setting boundaries will ruin their life. Sometimes boundaries do bring grief. But they can also become the doorway into the life God has been trying to help you build.If you are navigating family estrangement, no contact, people pleasing, religious pressure, toxic family dynamics, or the emotional aftermath of setting boundaries, this episode will help you see that healing is not only about what you leave behind. It is also about what you finally become free to walk toward.Join us this Wednesday for our live event, Healing After No Contact.This event is for those who have already made a painful boundary decision and are now living with the grief, second-guessing, backlash, loneliness, and emotional aftermath.Register here.
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  51: When Faith Gets Weaponized | Peacemaking, Boundaries, and Spiritual Control 21.04.2026 46min

  What do you do when a sermon, a Bible verse, a conference talk, or a spiritual principle gets used against you?In this episode, we talk about a painful dynamic many people experience in unhealthy family systems: when teachings about peacemaking, forgiveness, humility, honor, or reconciliation are twisted into pressure, shame, control, or spiritual superiority.This conversation was prompted in part by messages we received after President Oaks’ recent talk on peacemaking. We want to be clear: we honor and sustain President Oaks, and we saw nothing wrong with his message. What we are addressing is the way true spiritual principles can be misused by others in ways that feel manipulative, coercive, or spiritually destabilizing.In this episode, we unpack the difference between peacemaking and appeasement, why truth is not the same thing as being harsh, how spiritual language gets weaponized in estrangement and no-contact dynamics, how to stay grounded in God when others use faith to destabilize you, and what scripture teaches about truth, control, and righteous boundaries.Whether the pressure came through a pastor, a parent, a church leader, or someone quoting scripture at you, the principle is the same: something true can still be used in a spiritually harmful way.If you have ever felt guilty, confused, or shaken because your boundaries were framed as unloving or unchristian, this episode is for you.We also share details about our upcoming live online CLEAVE Events:April 22: Boundaries Without GuiltApril 29: Healing After No ContactIf you are interested in attending either of these events, you can find more details on our website: www.leavethencleave.com/cleave-events
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  50: Q & A Part 2 | How to Stop Letting Family Live Rent Free in Your Mind | Discussing Marriage, Siblings, and No Contact 12.04.2026 44min

  What do you do when your spouse has not fully left and cleaved? Why do siblings experience the same family so differently? And how do you stop letting unhealthy family dynamics live rent free in your mind long after distance has been put in place?In Part 2 of this Q&A episode, Jon and Ashley respond to some of the most common and painful questions they hear from this community around marriage, family systems, forgiveness, triangulation, and emotional healing. They talk about what happens when one spouse begins to recognize unhealthy family patterns before the other does, why family roles form so differently among siblings, and how grief, truth, and time all shape the healing process after no contact. In this episode, they explore:what it means to “leave and cleave” when your spouse is not fully there yetwhy forgiveness and reconciliation are not the same thinghow triangulation and unhealthy sibling roles develop in familieswhy children in the same home can carry very different family experienceshow grief can keep people emotionally attached even after no contactwhat it looks like to finally let go and move forward with GodJon and Ashley also talk about the slow nature of healing, the small and simple truths that can begin changing a marriage, and the painful but freeing process of accepting that you cannot do other people’s healing for them. If you are navigating:family estrangementemotionally immature parentsmarriage tension around in-lawssibling scapegoating or triangulationChristian questions about forgiveness and reconciliationthe grief of no contactthis conversation will give you language, validation, and a more grounded path forward. If this episode resonates with you, check out our book Leave Then Cleave, a faith-rooted guide to boundaries, marriage, family systems, and healing. you can also download the first chapter for free at www.leavethencleave.com/free-chapter
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  49. Q&A Part 1 | When Boundaries Feel Like Family Drama | Covering Guilt, Change, and Helping Kids Grieve 07.04.2026 26min

  How do you know if you are setting a healthy boundary… or just creating more family drama?In Part 1 of this Q&A episode, Jon and Ashley respond to some of the most common and emotionally complex questions they receive from this community. Together, they talk through the guilt that often comes with setting boundaries in religious and enmeshed family systems, what it really means when family members say they miss you but refuse to change, and how to help children grieve grandparents or extended family relationships when distance has become necessary.This episode is for anyone wrestling with questions like:Am I being wise, or am I just making things worse?What do I do when people say they love me, but their behavior never changes?How do I tell my children the truth without making them carry more pain?Is it possible to be honest about harm while still staying rooted in love?Jon and Ashley talk about Christ-like boundaries, truth-telling, forgiveness, grief, family estrangement, and the responsibility parents carry to help their children understand unhealthy patterns without passing those patterns on to the next generation. They also explore why truth is not the same as cruelty, why love does not require denial, and why healthy families make room for both honesty and healing. If you have ever struggled with toxic family dynamics, emotionally immature parents, religious guilt around boundaries, or helping children navigate family estrangement, this conversation will give you language, validation, and a more grounded path forward. In Part 2, Jon and Ashley will talk about what happens when a spouse has not fully left and cleaved, why siblings can experience the same family so differently, and how to stop letting unhealthy family dynamics live rent free in your mind.If this episode resonates with you, check out our book Leave Then Cleave, a faith-rooted guide to boundaries, family systems, marriage, and healing.You can find it on our website LeaveThenCleave.com/store or if you'd like you can read the first chapter for free at leavethencleave.com/free-chapter.
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  48. Holy Saturday: What God Is Doing in the Silence 04.04.2026 8min

  Holy Saturday is the day in between.Friday’s pain has already happened.Sunday’s redemption is coming.But today… it can still feel quiet.In this Holy Week episode of Here’s the Lesson, Jon reflects on the meaning of Holy Saturday and what it teaches us about waiting, grief, unanswered prayers, and the sacred growth that can happen in seasons of silence.Drawing from personal experience—including the devastating loss of his father to brain cancer—Jon shares how some of life’s most painful chapters can also become some of the most transformative.This episode is for anyone walking through:grief and lossspiritual waitingmarriage painfractured family relationshipsunanswered prayersjob loss or life transitionseasons where heaven feels quietHoly Saturday reminds us that silence does not mean abandonment.Just because nothing looks different yet does not mean nothing is happening.Some of God’s holiest work happens where we cannot yet see it.And if life still feels like Saturday right now, please hear this:the story is not over. Sunday will come.In the episode, Jon also references Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin’s powerful message, Sunday Will Come, and shares why that sermon has deeply shaped his faith and hope. For so many people, these “Saturday seasons” are not just moments in Holy Week — they are chapters of real life.The waiting after the loss.The silence after the prayer.The ache between what broke and what has not yet been rebuilt.That is one of the deepest reasons Ashley and I wrote Leave Then Cleave.We wrote it for people navigating grief, painful family relationships, betrayal, and the difficult work of healing while holding onto faith and hope for what God is still doing.📖 Start with the free first chapter:https://www.leavethencleave.com/free-chapter🎧 Explore the full book and audiobook:https://www.leavethencleave.com/store#HolySaturday #SundayWillCome #ChristianHealing #HopeAfterLoss #LeaveThenCleave
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  47. Love Stayed | Good Friday, Suffering, Grief & the Hope of Christ 03.04.2026 5min

  Good Friday brings us to one of the most sacred and sobering moments in all of scripture:the cross.This is the day when betrayal, grief, abandonment, and suffering seem to reach their deepest point.And yet Good Friday reveals one of the most powerful truths of the gospel:love stayed.In this episode of Here’s the Lesson, Jon reflects on what Good Friday teaches us about suffering, family pain, betrayal, grief, and the hope we find in Jesus Christ.The Savior did not remain distant from human pain.He entered it fully.He knows betrayal.He knows abandonment.He knows grief.He knows what it feels like to carry something all the way to the end.For anyone navigating family wounds, broken trust, loneliness, or a sorrow that feels heavier than words can hold, this conversation is for you.We talk about:Good Friday and the meaning of the crossgrief and sufferingbetrayal and abandonmentfamily pain and emotional woundsChrist-centered hopewhy suffering is not proof that heaven has left youGood Friday reminds us that when everything else gave way, love remained.And because love stayed, so can hope..........................................................................If today’s episode resonated—especially if you are carrying grief, betrayal, family wounds, or the ache of trying to hold onto faith through suffering—that is one of the deepest reasons Ashley and I wrote Leave Then Cleave.We wrote it for people navigating painful relationships, family systems, broken trust, and the difficult work of healing without losing their faith.📖 Start with the free first chapter:Visit LeaveThenCleave.com/free-chapter🎧 Explore the full book, audiobook, and resources:Visit LeaveThenCleave.com/store📰 Join our Weekly Note for faith-centered healing and family clarity: Click here.
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  46. Jesus Did Not Bypass Agony | Holy Thursday, Gethsemane & Faith in Suffering 02.04.2026 6min

  Holy Thursday brings us to one of the most sacred and deeply human moments in all of scripture:The Garden of Gethsemane.This is the night Jesus is not before the crowds.He is alone.In anguish.In prayer.Under the full weight of what is coming.And what makes this moment so powerful is this:Jesus did not deny the pain.He did not rush past the sorrow.He brought the full weight of His suffering before the Father and still said:“Nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done.” Holy BibleIn this episode of Here’s the Lesson, Jon explores what Holy Thursday teaches us about pain, surrender, grief, faith, and what it means to trust God in the middle of something heavy.If you are walking through your own Gethsemane—family pain, betrayal, grief, uncertainty, spiritual exhaustion, or the ache of surrendering something you did not choose—this conversation is for you.We talk about:Holy Thursday and GethsemaneFaith in sufferinggrief and Christian healingsurrender without emotional bypassingtrusting God in painful seasonsdiscipleship in the middle of uncertaintyAnd if this tension feels painfully familiar—the ache of holding onto faith while carrying something heavy—that is one of the deepest reasons Ashley and I wrote Leave Then Cleave.We wrote it for people navigating family wounds, betrayal, grief, painful relationships, and the difficult work of healing without losing their faith.📖 Start with the free first chapter in the show notes🎧 Explore the full book and audiobook Plus, explore TONS of Free Content over at leavethencleave.com Follow Us on Social Media and YouTube: @leave_then_cleave
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  45. Jesus Was Not Betrayed by Strangers | Holy Wednesday, Family Betrayal & Christian Healing 01.04.2026 7min

  Holy Wednesday confronts us with one of the most painful truths in all of scripture:Jesus was not betrayed by strangers.He was betrayed by someone inside the circle.Someone who had walked with Him.Sat with Him.Learned from Him.Shared meals with Him.That is what makes this day so deeply human.Because some of life’s deepest wounds do not come from obvious enemies. They come from people close enough to know what would hurt us most.In this episode of Here’s the Lesson, Jon explores what Holy Wednesday teaches us about betrayal trauma, family wounds, church hurt, grief, broken trust, and the sobering realization that proximity does not always mean safety.If you have ever been wounded by a parent, spouse, sibling, trusted friend, or church leader, this conversation is for you.We talk about:family betrayalchurch hurt and spiritual woundsbroken trustgrief after betrayalChristian healingthe difference between closeness and safetywhy Jesus understands this pain intimatelyHoly Wednesday reminds us that Christ is not distant from betrayal.He has entered it.And if this conversation feels painfully familiar—if you are trying to make sense of family wounds, church hurt, or the grief that comes from someone close becoming unsafe—that is one of the deepest reasons Ashley and I wrote Leave Then Cleave.We wrote it for people living inside this exact tension: trying to hold onto faith, truth, and healing while making sense of betrayal from within the circle.📖 Start with the free first chapter here. 🎧 Explore the full book and audiobook at leavethencleave.com/store
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  44. Holy Tuesday: Not Everyone Who Sounds Spiritual Is Safe | By Their Fruits Ye Shall Know Them 31.03.2026 7min

  Holy Tuesday gives us one of the most sobering lessons of Holy Week:not everyone who sounds spiritual is safe.Jesus was not hardest on weakness.He was hardest on what looked righteous but quietly harmed people.In this “Here’s the Lesson” episode, Jon explores what Christ teaches about hypocrisy, spiritual pressure, false holiness, and the difference between appearance and fruit.Jesus never confused how someone sounded with what their presence actually produced.That question still matters:Does this relationship produce peace… or pressure?Freedom… or fear?Clarity… or confusion?If you are navigating spiritual manipulation, toxic family systems, false guilt, emotionally immature parents, or Christian boundaries, this episode is for you.This is part of our Holy Week series, helping connect the life of Christ to the realities people face in marriage, family systems, faith, and healing.If today’s lesson stirred something in you, and you’ve been trying to make sense of the difference between true discipleship and spiritual pressure, that is exactly why Ashley and I wrote Leave Then Cleave.This book was written for people navigating painful family systems, false guilt, unhealthy loyalty, and the confusion that comes when relationships sound spiritual on the surface but quietly produce fear, pressure, and silence.It helps put language to what so many people have felt but struggled to explain:the difference between peace and passivity,love and control,forgiveness and avoidance,faithfulness and self-abandonment.If that tension feels familiar, start with the free first chapter at leavethencleave.com/free-chapter.And if it resonates, the full book, audiobook, and additional resources are available there as well.📖 Start with the free first chapter of Leave Then Cleave:https://leavethencleave.com/free-chapter🎧 Explore the full book, audiobook, and resources:https://leavethencleave.com/store
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  43. Holy Monday | Jesus Was Gentle With the Broken—But Not With What Exploited the Sacred 31.03.2026 11min

  On Holy Monday, Jesus does something many Christians do not know what to do with:He cleanses the temple.He overturns tables.He drives things out.He disrupts what everyone else had learned to tolerate.And He does not do it because He lacks love.He does it because something sacred is being violated.In this episode, we explore what Jesus cleansing the temple reveals about faith, truth, boundaries, false peace, and the difference between being loving and being passively tolerant. If you have ever struggled to reconcile your Christian faith with the need to protect your marriage, your peace, your home, your children, or your relationship with God, this conversation is for you.We talk about spiritual pressure, unhealthy family systems, religious guilt, and why Christlikeness does not mean allowing what is holy to be exploited while everyone calls it normal.This episode is for those wrestling with questions like:What does Jesus cleansing the temple teach us about boundaries?Does being Christlike mean staying soft no matter what?Can Christians set boundaries and still be faithful?What is the difference between real peace and false peace?How do I protect what is sacred without becoming hard?If you are navigating toxic family dynamics, spiritual manipulation, religious control, emotionally immature parents, difficult in-law relationships, marriage boundaries, or the tension between truth and family loyalty, we hope this episode gives language to what you have been feeling.If this episode resonates, start with the free first chapter of Leave Then Cleave.Comment or message CHAPTER on any of our social channels, or get the book and resources here:Free Chapter: leavethencleave.com/free-chapterBook, Audiobook, and Resources: leavethencleave.com/store
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  42. Palm Sunday, People-Pleasing, and the Cost of Following Jesus 28.03.2026 7min

  On Palm Sunday, the crowds welcomed Jesus with praise, palm branches, and celebration. But beneath that moment was a painful tension: many people were not surrendering to who Christ truly was. They were embracing who they hoped He would be.In this mini episode of Here’s the Lesson, Jon explores what Palm Sunday reveals about discipleship, people-pleasing, family pressure, Christian boundaries, and the cost of following Jesus when truth disrupts the systems around you.This episode is for the person who is trying to be faithful to Christ but feels torn between obedience and approval… between truth and keeping the peace… between honoring others and betraying what God is doing in their own heart.If you’ve ever wrestled with questions like:Why does following Jesus sometimes create tension in relationships?What does Palm Sunday teach us about people-pleasing?Can a Christian set boundaries and still be faithful?What happens when Jesus doesn’t fit the expectations of the people around us?How do I follow Christ when family pressure, guilt, or religious image management are pulling at me?This conversation is for you.In this episode, Jon talks about:the deeper meaning of Palm Sundaywhy crowds are dangerous places to build your identityhow people-pleasing can disguise itself as faithfulnessthe difference between following the real Christ and following a version of Jesus that protects our comfortwhy discipleship often requires disappointing peoplehow Christian faith, truth-telling, and emotional maturity are deeply connectedIf you are navigating emotionally immature family dynamics, religious guilt, boundary-setting, estrangement, or the painful tension between loyalty and truth, this episode will help put language to what you may be carrying.Leave Then Cleave is a podcast about Christian boundaries, family dysfunction, estrangement, emotional maturity, marriage, healing, and learning how to follow Jesus with honesty and courage.If this episode resonated with you, here are a few ways to keep going:Get the book: Leave Then Cleave was written for the person who loves God, loves family, and still finds themselves carrying confusion, grief, pressure, or pain in their closest relationships. It explores what it means to follow Christ with honesty when loyalty has become unhealthy, peace has become appeasement, and truth feels costly. This book offers language, clarity, and a faithful path forward for those navigating boundaries, family dysfunction, emotional immaturity, estrangement, and the deep work of choosing truth without losing their soul.Download the free first chapter by commenting or messaging CHAPTER on our social contentBook a Clarity Conversation with JonExplore more episodes, articles, and resources at leavethencleave.comIf this podcast is helping you, please follow the show, leave a rating or review, and share this episode with someone who may need it.