The Real Weird Sisters: A Harry Potter Podcast

Episodes

• Take Five, Take 6.2: Half-Blood Prince, 05:00-10:00 01.06.2026 1h 27m

  Alice, Martha, and SPECIAL GUEST Shut Up Tim discuss the second five minutes of Half-Blood Prince, which sees Harry taking Dumbledore's arm off to Budleigh Babberton, Dumbledore channeling his inner Sanguini, and David Yates quickly turning into David Yikes. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!
• One Page at at Time: Book 1, Page 8 25.05.2026 56m

  How very right Alice and Martha were about the first single-digit One Page at a Time! "Jim Dale" gets to do the full narration this week, as Mr. Dursley drifts into an uneasy sleep and the cat on the wall doesn't move an inch (wow!). Dumbledore stomps down the Privet Drive runway, and while we're at it, we may as well do a deep dive into the origins of the street's name! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode! 
• One Page at at Time: Book 2, Page 135 18.05.2026 54m

  Nearly Headless Nick has his 500th Deathday Party upstaged by not only the Headless Hunt, but Myrtle and Peeves as well on this week's One Page at a Time! Find out whether or not Jacob's sibling is a ghost, whether or not Mary would be capable of drawing flying moldy peanuts, and which memes fit perfectly with this week's page! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode! 
• One Page at at Time: Book 5, Page 602 11.05.2026 58m

  Firenze comes galloping in to save Divination! Alice and Martha discuss his CGI movie portrayal, the likelihood of teenagers swooning over a centaur, and an "I love magic!" moment on this week's One Page at a Time.Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode! 
• One Page at at Time: Book 4, Page 399 04.05.2026 59m

  Did a veela send a blast out into the universe? Alice and Martha make some confident (not necessarily correct) assertions about the movie, forget to give a moral of the week, and test out lots of character impressions on this week's One Page at a Time! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode! 
• One Page at at Time: Book 6, Page 559 27.04.2026 59m

  Alice and Martha break down the most fun and hilarious page yet! Dumbledore senses traces of magic in a very mysterious manner, Harry brags about his fitness and his youth, and Voldemort once again fails to realize that physical pain is not the worst thing in the world. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode! 
• One Page at at Time: Book 1, Page 36 20.04.2026 1h

  Alice and Martha discuss the Dursleys' initial reactions to his first Hogwarts letter and dive into some interesting canonical lore that may or may not actually explain who is responsible for sending the letters. Hopefully you don't have to silently fight Dudley for a chance to listen at the keyhole to this episode! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode! 
• Take Five, Take 6.1: Half-Blood Prince, 00:00-05:00 13.04.2026 1h 27m

  Alice, Martha, and special guest Shut Up Tim are BACK, baby! They've been reckless in their time off, and so has Harry. This episode is sure to be very pretty, so take our arm and we'll be off! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!
• One Page at at Time: Book 3, Page 37 06.04.2026 49m

  Alice and Martha are back to the third book, and someone's prediction has come true! Stanley (??) makes his first OPAAT appearance as "Neville", who outta read the papers more, finds out that Sirius isn't just a Muggle convict. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode! 
• One Page at at Time: Book 5, Page 291 30.03.2026 1h 3m

  Malfoy is back to his old tricks of taunting the Gryffindor Quidditch team on this page which sets Ron's tragic Keeper arc into motion. Angelina manages to keep her cool, Harry shows off his athletic prowess, and Pansy takes lessons from Bellatrix. Alice and Martha recap the 291st page of Order of the Phoenix in this week's One Page at a Time! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode! 
• One Page at at Time: Book 6, Page 261 23.03.2026 56m

  In a rare twist, the pensieve is about to enter a world which is entirely our own, as Caractacus Burke recounts his memory of scamming poor Merope and (possibly) doing more than anyone else to set Voldemort for misery. Alice and Martha recap the 261st page of Half-Blood Prince in this week's One Page at a Time! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode! 
• One Page at at Time: Book 5, Page 764 15.03.2026 54m

  It's thestral time, baby! Harry, Neville, and Luna show off their thestral expertise while Ron, Hermione, and Ginny stand open-mouthed and staring in confusion. How are they meant to get on these things?? Plus, a OPAAT first, as this page is half GP art!Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode! 
• One Page at a Time: Book 5, Page 444 09.03.2026 56m

  It's time for Hagrid's first Care of Magical Creatures lesson for the year! Aided by his disheveled appearance, the ominous Forbidden Forest, and his shrieking cry, Hagrid's classroom management skills have never been better. Alice and Martha also announce this year's real weird March Madness bracket.Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!
• One Page at a Time: Book 7, Page 353 02.03.2026 1h 2m

  Alice and Martha head back to the seventh book, where Harry and Hermione are about to find out the truth (?) about Dumbledore's friendships with both Grindelwald and "Dogbreath" Doge. Plus, find out if Chuck Knives prevailed and how Zach W. has been confirming his listenership! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!
• One Page at a Time: Book 6, Page 328 23.02.2026 58m

  Alice and Martha discuss page 328 of book 6 for the second time in a week! It's almost Christmas and Harry and Ron have a lot to discuss after Slughorn's party. Fred and George may be off to the muggle village, but Harry and Ron are the ones learning valuable lessons about hard work and perseverance.Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!
• One Page at a Time: Book 3, Page 124 16.02.2026 1h 6m

  It's back to the Potions classroom this week, as Ron pays the price for sloppy chopping and Draco milks his "injured arm." Snape's just trying his best to be happy, can you blame him for wanting to teach Ron a lesson? (Alice and Martha can). Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!
• One Page at a Time: Book 1, Page 223 09.02.2026 1h 3m

  Alice and Martha return to Sorcerer's Stone for a unique Hermione and Ron POV page. Draco is full of witty jabs, Neville is full of amazing comebacks, and Ron is surprisingly composed. And yes, Snape's refereeing. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!
• One Page at a Time: Book 2, Page 335 02.02.2026 49m

  Dumbledore's phone is blowing up, Lucius is about to lose his servant, and Harry knows exactly where to look during this important exchange. Alice and Martha break down this surprisingly falling-action page of Chamber of Secrets. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!
• One Page at a Time: Book 6, Page 628 26.01.2026 48m

  Alice and Martha return to the Hospital Wing, where the remaining professors (who haven't been murdered like the headmaster) decide what to do with the school, even if there's not a monster in the bowels of the castle.Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!
• Take Five, Take 4.30: Goblet of Fire, 145:01-THE END 19.01.2026 1h 11m

  Alice, Martha, and special guest Shut Up Tim close the book on Mike Newell's magnum opus, discussing the credits of Goblet of Fire. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!