Open Ground

Episodes

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  Healing Relationships with Parents, with Kan Yan 31.10.2026 50m

  What would it take to heal your relationship with your parents as an adult? Kan Yan, host of the Parents Reimagined podcast and workshops, shares how he went from dissociating around his father, a Chinese immigrant with a fierce temper, to a weekly family conversation that still continues years later.We talk about:Why catharsis rarely changes relational patterns, and why slow "erosion" doesWill and capacity: setting realistic expectations of a parentThe immigrant gap that can feel like centuries between generationsEstrangement and no-contact, and why it often hurts parents mostKan's four-part model: releasing, reimagining, support and experimentationOral histories as a gentle way in with a hesitant parentWhy the parent relationship feels foundational to a stable sense of selfAbout Kan Yan: Kan hosts the Parents Reimagined podcast and coaches adult children who want to transform their relationships with their parents. His own family struggles led him into meditation, psychology and transformative coaching. Before that he earned a law degree from Harvard and worked at the United Nations, McKinsey & Company and MAPS.Website: parentsreimagined.comPodcast: Parents Reimagined on Spotify and Apple PodcastsSubstack: parentsreimagined.substack.comInstagram: @parentsreimaginedpodcastContent note: includes a brief mention of childhood abuse, including sexual abuse (around 47:40).Chapters0:00 Open Ground intro0:10 Welcome: Kan Yan and Parents Reimagined2:09 How Kan's relationship with his father began to change4:29 The immigrant gap: "centuries" between generations6:21 Will and capacity12:32 Estrangement and no-contact15:41 The clearing conversation and a year of family therapy18:56 Catharsis vs. erosion23:37 Inviting fathers into intimacy25:16 The four-part model: releasing, reimagining, support, experimentation29:23 Oral histories and natural empathy35:32 Why the parent relationship feels foundational40:11 Chosen family and the family of origin43:54 Family as ancient ground47:18 Stories of redemption48:37 ClosingOpen Ground exists to spread encouragement and enthusiasm for planting seeds of wisdom with others. For reflection and education, not therapy or medical advice.